The Things I Do Not Miss About Japan

by 168 Comments

While I definitely miss plenty of weird things about Japan, there are things I do not miss as well. While everyone has differing tastes, these are the things that I personally don’t really miss (and wish I could have while in Japan). America, you got these things right. Japan, you should takes some notes.

1. The “Bacon”

bacon

Photo by cookbookman17

Bacon in Japan (and a lot of the world) is completely wrong. Bacon should be the most amazing thing you’ve ever eaten, and in Japan it is just another meat. It shouldn’t be slimy, floppy, or tasteless. It should feel like you will get a heart attack if you eat too much and should be everyone’s favorite food. If someone opened a (real) bacon restaurant or food stand, I think it would do pretty well. I can’t wait to get back to the land of bacon and have myself some of that magic food that keeps me from being a vegetarian.

2. Elevators aka “Murdervators”

elevator

Photo by robinsonmay

Elevators in America are docile. You hit the close button and they don’t close. You wait and they don’t close. Then, they close very timidly. If the slightest breeze goes by, they open back up again for fear that someone will sue them and their masters. Although there are more laid back elevators in Japan, many of them are ruthless killers. The close door button works even when you’re not hitting it. I can’t even count the amount of times I felt my life was in danger from an elevator. They close fast and hard. So, don’t try to run into an elevator that’s closing if you’re not sure you’ll make it. It could grab you and drag you up into the ceiling cutting your leg off… and that’s only if it’s feeling nice that day.

3. Tiny Cups Of Water

glasses

Photo by lunauna

Since beer equals water in Japan (both in taste and how much it’s consumed), water gets the boot. Water almost always comes in these tiny nearly shot-glass sized glasses, meaning that if you’re someone who likes to drink their water, you’re going to have a hard time. If you’re lucky, there’s a self serve water option. If you’re unlucky you’ll just be stuck with a lot less water than you’d normally want (or you have to keep asking).

4. The Last Train

lasttrain

Photo by Jayel Aheram

For a country with cities as big and bustling as Tokyo, you’d think the trains would run later. For the most part, the last train is around midnight. Miss that train and you’ll have to walk, take a cab home, or stay in a capsule hotel / manga café. I guess it’s a good way to make sure people get home early. Or, perhaps it’s just not sustainable to run trains at night. Whatever the reason, it’s still pretty early if you ask me. Couldn’t the last train just be an hour or two later, please?

5. Cigarette Smoke

smokers

Photo by MShades

While smoking has taken a big curb in Japan the last couple years, there’s still a lot of indoor, poorly ventilated areas where people smoke. While I also feel sorry for smokers who have to go inside smoking boxes to smoke (that can’t be very good for anyone, right?), it would be nice to not have to deal with it in many restaurants and izakaya. That being said, the thing that really bothers me is the smell of my clothes afterwards, so I guess I can deal for the most part when I have access to a washing machine.

6. Heaters Being Too Hot

heater

Photo by jasonwoodhead23

Rooms are too hot in Japan. It’s either sweltering or it’s freezing. No in-between. While you get used to it after a while, it can still be obnoxious. People up north in Japan wear too little clothes. People in the south where it’s warmer wear way too much. I’m just used to middle-of-the-road Pacific Northwest weather, so I suppose it’s really my fault, but it’s my list so I can complain about whatever I want :p

7. Lack Of Free Wifi

wifi

Photo by tiseb

I’ve talked about this before. Free wifi is hard to come by in Japan. When you’re used to free wifi at just about every place you go in America, it can be painful to go to a place where free wifi is about as common as the dodo bird. I guess while places in America encourage you to stick around with free wifi if Japanese places did it they may have the opposite problem. People would stay forever and live in your coffee shop. This is why manga internet cafés exist.

8. Squat Toilets

squat-toilet

Photo by Andrew Gatt

I used to like them. They’re healthier for you, after all, right? Anyways, as I’ve gotten older and weaker, I’ve gravitated towards Japanese sit-down toilets from the year 2055. Why squat when you can have a warmed seat, water to clean your butt, and a bunch of buttons? So, when I run into a place that only has squat toilets (they’re usually dark, smelly, and freezing cold, too… coincidence?) I’m disappointed. It’s not that I can’t use them, that’s not my complaint. It’s just that they aren’t the luxury my butt deserves.

9. The Lack Of Spicy

pepper

Photo by wrachele

Spicy things are too sweet. Sweet things are not sweet enough (actually, they’re just right). As a kid this was great, but as an adult who has his tastebuds burned away by time and actually spicy things, the lack of spicy stuff (in general) makes “spicy” things disappointing. It’s not that I don’t like things that aren’t spicy, it’s that when I order something that says it’s “spicy” it should be spicy, you know? Japan loves its “sweetish” umami taste.

Bonus: AKB48

akb48

As Tofugu’s greatest enemy and rival, AKB48 is obviously something we do not miss. One day, we will strike down AKB48 with our Fugu fist. Until that day, we will not miss them. You guys comment about them too much in our comments threads for us to miss them, anyways.

What Do You Not Miss About Japan?

Anything you don’t miss about Japan? Something you wish you had / didn’t have while you’re in Japan? Obviously all of you will say bacon whether you’re vegetarian or not, so something besides that, please. Share them in the comments! I’m curious about different countries from America as well. Like, if you’re from New Zealand do you miss the Topp Twins and Lord of The Rings?

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →
  • Claire

    Good hair. As a Black woman, I know I’m going to have my challenges in Japan. I did some searching & found exactly ONE place in all of Japan that sells Black hair care products (somewhere deep in Shibuya 109), but they warned that the prices were insane. So I just cut off my hair went natural. :)

  • Flora

    You can just make your own dandruff shampoo – if you can find some tea tree oil, mix some of that in with your shampoo or slap a layer on right after. It’s pretty cheap online if they don’t sell it in Japan.

  • Flora

    You eat turkey on Christmas? I thought everyone ate ham – or that just a Southern thing?

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/YAMAstudios Jon Walmsley

    The greater infrequency of good quality bread, cheese and milk, the
    uncomfortablness of sitting cross-legged for any extended period of time
    and the bland (though granted warming) green tea which is no
    replacement for a good English cuppa!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438943897 Stephen Knight

    Since I’m still here it’s hard to talk about what I don’t miss, so perhaps what I wouldn’t if I were to leave: The uninspiring bacon, certainly (though I’ve found an online source of “real” bacon, finally, and can enjoy homemade BLTs again); the poor selection of sandwich meats at most supermarkets (generally, a choice of chemical-infused ham or…chemical-infused ham); “bagels”; cashiers who put their hand under yours when giving back change–and actually touch your hand (I know, the idea is to provide back-up in case any loose coins get away, but that shouldn’t require actual physical contact); junk collectors who drive around with their pre-recorded announcements blasting throughout the neighborhood; excessive wrapping and packaging; the marketing juggernauts that are AKB, Johhny’s, and Yoshimoto Kogyo; twisted customer service “keigo” (“Ichimannen kara de yoroshikatta deshou ka?”); line-wranglers wielding megaphones at museums, concert halls, and other public places… well, the list of “won’t misses” is probably as long as the list ofmthings I *would* miss.

  • linguarum

    I do get out of the cities! But why can’t the cities be greener and less Gotham-like? Population is not an excuse!

  • crella

    Or buy Merit. It’s a pretty good dandruff shampoo.

  • crella

    OMG, I hate those pillows with a passion. The first time I slept on one I got a 3-day crick in my neck.

  • crella

    This is far, but the place rocks…

    http://members3.jcom.home.ne.jp/pancho2/e-index.html

  • Amanda

    I think it’s more about the sheer amount of people walking around in cities. If there were benches and chairs everywhere homeless people would be sleeping in them and loiterers would just sit there for hours.

  • Seiren

    Nerd alert bleep bloop bleep bloop

  • Seiren

    Phone keigo. Every time.

  • 古戸ヱリカ

    If you’re bleep-blooping, shouldn’t your name be Sairen?

  • Mikan

    1. Spitting on the streets. Why is it so necessary to spit on the street? Was expelling the saliva from your mouth soooo incredibly urgent that you could not wait for a bathroom?
    2. Groping
    3. The little leftovers from drunk people. Vomit in the train, in the flower pots, on the street, on the wall, outside my house, in the water fountain, on the train door, under the guy who passed out on the street…
    4. Sexism, especially in the workplace
    5. Long working hours
    6. Lack of clothes dryers
    7. Remember which trash day it is
    8. Tiny “ovens”
    9. The crowds
    10. The really weak medicine
    11. The electric bills (Thanks for the rate hike, Tepco)
    12. Cool Biz. The thermostat may be at 28 degrees, but the actual temperature is much hotter (and muggier, and smellier)

  • http://www.robinyukiko.com Robin Yukiko

    1. Lack of good dentistry. I tried to get a cleaning and they looked at me like I was crazy and asked “But what’s WRONG?” Can’t a girl have clean teeth? (Although I had one great experience where the dentist was actually on his day off but let me in anyway and didn’t even charge me.)

    2. Only being respected as a woman because I’m foreign, knowing full well that Japanese women don’t get the same respect.

    3. The love of “corporate”. Indie means unsuccessful and unofficial.

    4. Lack of proper mental healthcare. In the smaller towns they refuse to accept that things like depression are real. (My friend had to come up to Tokyo to get antidepressants.)

    5. “Eigo wakanai” WHILE I’m speaking passable Japanese.

    6. Peer pressure to drink/show up to parties/etc.

    7. The drunken business men a) falling asleep standing on the train and bowling people over, b) stumbling onto the street and urinating in broad daylight, c) well, you get the idea.

    8. The inability to get a straight answer.

  • http://www.robinyukiko.com Robin Yukiko

    Yeah, that’s true. But I’m also Jewish. I still celebrate Christmas secularly, but ham was never my favorite food so I don’t really associate it with X-mas as much as I should. But still, Christmas fried chicken isn’t a thing! (Although that became our “let’s perpetuate gaijin stereotypes” tradition after a while.)

  • http://mistersanity.blogspot.com Jonadab

    The last train runs at midnight? You poor dear. In most American communities, the last passenger train ran in the sixties.

  • http://mistersanity.blogspot.com Jonadab

    In the Midwest, there isn’t any one food associated with Christmas, although some families have family traditions. In my family, we buy peppermint nougat in bulk.

  • http://mistersanity.blogspot.com Jonadab

    Just bring your own bottle of Dave’s Insanity Sauce or whatever from the States.

  • http://mistersanity.blogspot.com Jonadab

    I theoretically like bacon, but I don’t like it enough to justify eating something that unhealthy, so I almost never eat it. (I have more of a problem with cheese. Also chocolate.)

  • http://mistersanity.blogspot.com Jonadab

    My shoe size barely exists in America (it took me more than ten *years* to find a shoe that actually fits, and they’re $160/pair), so I would just know going in that there would be no hope of buying shoes anywhere in Asia.

  • http://zoomingjapan.com/ zoomingjapan

    I hear you! Having big or rather long feet sucks, doesn’t it? :(

  • K Ehnle

    And now for the post of the things you DO miss!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438943897 Stephen Knight

    Those are probably buckwheat hulls (sobagara), not beans…

  • Ben Nichols

    One simple reason: personal responsibility. Japanese have it, most Americans don’t.

  • Maximuz

    The tiny cups of water is funny. Japan in many ways is similar to Korea (where I live). In fact, some of my favorite restaurants are so because of their bigger cups!

  • Maximuz

    Did you know that the close button in elevators in the US, in many states, is disabled. It is just a placebo effect to make people feel like they have power.

  • 古戸ヱリカ

    Koichi knew you would ask for this, so he planned ahead:

    http://www.tofugu.com/2013/02/19/things-i-miss-about-japan/

  • crella

    Yes! Feels like beans though, they’re awful, at least for me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Casanters Casey Harris

    I developed a bad muttered “死ね” habit in response to the constant “Your Japanese is so good!!” BS.

    Most of my friends, though, knew better than to ask me inane questions like that, considering most that’d been to my house had seen the sea of natto cartons that was the inside of my fridge. Natto and beer. And kimchi.

  • http://www.facebook.com/interidoru Inter Idoru

    There used to be plenty of public trash bins about – but after the Sarin gas attacks in 1995, they took most public trash bins away.

  • Chester

    There isn’t a single decent Mexican place on all of Shikoku, so, a big part of me dies inside when you say there is Mexican in Tokyo – either, a) there is, and I’m missing out on it or, b) it’s crap, and you just don’t know, which means you’ve never had a decent taco, which would be a tragedy.

    Tacos on Shikoku are about the same as pizza: all mayo, all the time.

  • Chester

    But…but…but…there AREN’T any homeless people in Japan!

    I think what I hate about Japan most – and America has this very much in common, I think – is the idea that it is UNTHINKABLE that Japanese people can ever do a crime, or be homeless, or whatever.
    That whole, “That never happens in Japan” bullshit pisses me off to no end – it’s 1) inherently racist, since many people claim that all problems come from Koreans/Chinese people living in Japan, or other foreigners and 2) it’s plain old denialism that will just cause Japan to rot and wallow in its own stupidity until someone finally wakes up and says, “Wait, holy shit, some Japanese people are homeless!” Gee, y’think?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessica.marie.35175633 Jessica Marie Olmstead

    I definitely do NOT miss the squatting toilets either. My fiance tried to get me to use one and I absolutely refused! Also, the cockroaches, the fact that free drink refills do not exist and small, thin roadways. x_X;

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessica.marie.35175633 Jessica Marie Olmstead

    I live in Iowa and we always just made cornish hens or a nice ham for christmas =/ Turkey was always a ‘Thanksgiving’ only dish.

  • hakuba_jen

    You shouldn’t have to get half undressed, just pull your pants and underpants around your knees, not your ankles. I do it every day.

  • http://twitter.com/rejectsuprstar Reject Superstar

    I don’t miss the crazy recycling days…my city had me sorting through dozens of separate bins…so much to do in the morning before work. I also don’t miss the poor wall insulation in the winters…and having to use a ストーブ kerosene heater. The smell gave lots of us headaches, and it freaked me out to leave it on overnight.

  • http://twitter.com/rejectsuprstar Reject Superstar

    I also don’t miss:

    The lack of cereal variety/availability
    The lack of cheese variety/availablity (camembert, anyone?)
    The lack of garbage cans/recycling bins in public

    The lack of good quality color cosmetics
    The lack of good stick deodorant

  • ninda pamungkas

    agree with that arigatou thing. i experienced that too. it’s good to be complied but why should i be proud of it if even 3 years old kid can say that word too? hahaha

  • Misjiff

    Turkey for Christmas dinner is the norm for England too.

  • Shano

    Actually – it’s shame that guides most Japanese actions.

  • http://technotaku.com/ Xacur

    LOL. This is my favorite blog that almost never read, but when I read it it’s awesome (I guess when I don’t read it it’s still awesome but I don’t know for sure).

  • http://twitter.com/SactoMan81 Raymond Chuang

    A lot of people even in Japan no longer miss squat toilets–even modern long-distance trains (both limited express and Shinkansen) completely switched to Western-style toilets many years ago.

  • サッちゃん

    I really don’t miss the surprised looks on people’s faces when I ask for the way etc or decline in polite Japanese. Just because I’m ハーフ and don’t look very Japanese doesn’t mean I can’t speak (polite/formal) Japanese. The “ooh you speak Japanese well” and “your dad is German? iina!” was amusing the first few months but after a year of having most conversations start like that I was tired of it. When being asked “so then you speak Japanese AND German??” I was always rather tempted to forget my manners, roll my eyes and answer “Well, no, you see, having a Japanese Mom & and a German dad, of course I only speak any language but Japanese & German, duh”
    I guess the problem is this mentality or idea that if you look un-Japanese you’re a foreigner, at least I felt treated like that in Tokyo most of the time. In Germany I’m treated like evryone else, at least in the big cities ;) in small towns it’s usually the elderly who stare at my family…

  • LordKyuubey

    I go to a country light years ahead of mine and suddenly no wifi… Thankfully I was so distracted by everything else to bother, but it sure is a lame issue…

  • longtimenosee

    I only agree with last train (after 13 years) but would add the need for a “guarantor” (hoshonin) every time one wants to move/ rent a flat

  • longtimenosee
  • longtimenosee

    Did you ever try http://www.carmine.jp ? ;)

  • Dolphinwing

    I hate anything and everything spicy so the lack of spicy-ness would be a plus for me! I get annoyed when I say one phrase and people are literally shocked. At first it was fun but now it’s like yes, I speak pretty well is that so impressive?

  • Brin Greaner

    Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese

    Also, I guess the train issue is some sort of deal with the cab companies. =/

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →