1. The “Bacon”

Bacon in Japan (and a lot of the world) is completely wrong. Bacon should be the most amazing thing you’ve ever eaten, and in Japan it is just another meat. It shouldn’t be slimy, floppy, or tasteless. It should feel like you will get a heart attack if you eat too much and should be everyone’s favorite food. If someone opened a (real) bacon restaurant or food stand, I think it would do pretty well. I can’t wait to get back to the land of bacon and have myself some of that magic food that keeps me from being a vegetarian.

2. Elevators aka “Murdervators”

Elevators in America are docile. You hit the close button and they don’t close. You wait and they don’t close. Then, they close very timidly. If the slightest breeze goes by, they open back up again for fear that someone will sue them and their masters. Although there are more laid back elevators in Japan, many of them are ruthless killers. The close door button works even when you’re not hitting it. I can’t even count the amount of times I felt my life was in danger from an elevator. They close fast and hard. So, don’t try to run into an elevator that’s closing if you’re not sure you’ll make it. It could grab you and drag you up into the ceiling cutting your leg off… and that’s only if it’s feeling nice that day.

3. Tiny Cups Of Water

Since beer equals water in Japan (both in taste and how much it’s consumed), water gets the boot. Water almost always comes in these tiny nearly shot-glass sized glasses, meaning that if you’re someone who likes to drink their water, you’re going to have a hard time. If you’re lucky, there’s a self serve water option. If you’re unlucky you’ll just be stuck with a lot less water than you’d normally want (or you have to keep asking).

4. The Last Train

For a country with cities as big and bustling as Tokyo, you’d think the trains would run later. For the most part, the last train is around midnight. Miss that train and you’ll have to walk, take a cab home, or stay in a capsule hotel / manga café. I guess it’s a good way to make sure people get home early. Or, perhaps it’s just not sustainable to run trains at night. Whatever the reason, it’s still pretty early if you ask me. Couldn’t the last train just be an hour or two later, please?

5. Cigarette Smoke

While smoking has taken a big curb in Japan the last couple years, there’s still a lot of indoor, poorly ventilated areas where people smoke. While I also feel sorry for smokers who have to go inside smoking boxes to smoke (that can’t be very good for anyone, right?), it would be nice to not have to deal with it in many restaurants and izakaya. That being said, the thing that really bothers me is the smell of my clothes afterwards, so I guess I can deal for the most part when I have access to a washing machine.

6. Heaters Being Too Hot

Rooms are too hot in Japan. It’s either sweltering or it’s freezing. No in-between. While you get used to it after a while, it can still be obnoxious. People up north in Japan wear too little clothes. People in the south where it’s warmer wear way too much. I’m just used to middle-of-the-road Pacific Northwest weather, so I suppose it’s really my fault, but it’s my list so I can complain about whatever I want :p

7. Lack Of Free Wifi

I’ve talked about this before. Free wifi is hard to come by in Japan. When you’re used to free wifi at just about every place you go in America, it can be painful to go to a place where free wifi is about as common as the dodo bird. I guess while places in America encourage you to stick around with free wifi if Japanese places did it they may have the opposite problem. People would stay forever and live in your coffee shop. This is why manga internet cafés exist.

8. Squat Toilets

I used to like them. They’re healthier for you, after all, right? Anyways, as I’ve gotten older and weaker, I’ve gravitated towards Japanese sit-down toilets from the year 2055. Why squat when you can have a warmed seat, water to clean your butt, and a bunch of buttons? So, when I run into a place that only has squat toilets (they’re usually dark, smelly, and freezing cold, too… coincidence?) I’m disappointed. It’s not that I can’t use them, that’s not my complaint. It’s just that they aren’t the luxury my butt deserves.

9. The Lack Of Spicy

Spicy things are too sweet. Sweet things are not sweet enough (actually, they’re just right). As a kid this was great, but as an adult who has his tastebuds burned away by time and actually spicy things, the lack of spicy stuff (in general) makes “spicy” things disappointing. It’s not that I don’t like things that aren’t spicy, it’s that when I order something that says it’s “spicy” it should be spicy, you know? Japan loves its “sweetish” umami taste.

Bonus: AKB48

As Tofugu’s greatest enemy and rival, AKB48 is obviously something we do not miss. One day, we will strike down AKB48 with our Fugu fist. Until that day, we will not miss them. You guys comment about them too much in our comments threads for us to miss them, anyways.

What Do You Not Miss About Japan?

Anything you don’t miss about Japan? Something you wish you had / didn’t have while you’re in Japan? Obviously all of you will say bacon whether you’re vegetarian or not, so something besides that, please. Share them in the comments! I’m curious about different countries from America as well. Like, if you’re from New Zealand do you miss the Topp Twins and Lord of The Rings?

For a mere １５０円, you can have any Japanese soda, milk tea, iced coffee, or other novelty beverage your heart desires.

Whisky and M&Ms? I'll take two!

But that’s not all; the Japanese have vending machines for practically everything. Want a fresh banana straight from a vending machine? You got it!

In short: they bring clunky American vending machines to shame.

Why America, why?

Japan has upped the ante once again and begun to stock its vending machines with the greatest product of them all: the internet.

The Problem With WiFi In Japan

As Koichi wrote about a few years ago, finding wireless internet in Japan can be a huge pain. While Japan has some of the speediest internet in the world, it can be tough to find a public place to get your internet fix.

Fortunately, beer titan and vending machine operator Asahi has decided to combine Japan’s fast internet and awesome vending machines into a vending machine that dispenses honest-to-God free wireless internet.

The wireless signal reaches out about 50 meters (or about 150 feet) and auto-kicks people after half an hour, so no four-hour-long WoW raids on vending machine wifi while slurping down can after can of Boss Coffee.

Once you connect to the WiFi, you’ll be welcomed by a screen that shows you everything that’s available in the vending machine, along with information about local businesses and tourism. Definitely a lot more friendly than stealing your neighbor’s WiFi.

Line ‘Em Up!

Asahi hopes that customers will be drawn in by both the free internet and tasty beverages like moths to a flame.

And it helps that the Japanese are notorious for loving to wait in line. The longer and more useless the line, the better. A brand new doughnut shop? Better wait 4 hours in line for a taste.

Perhaps the hope is that as people start hovering around Asahi vending machines to siphon some of that sweet, sweet WiFi, more people will be attracted to the machine. If there are people loitering around a vending machine, then surely there must be a good reason, right?

Will Asahi’s new vending machines create popular hangouts around soft drink dispensers? Well, probably not, but it’s still a pretty cool idea, and will be definitely welcome in WiFi-starved Japan.

P.S. Are you reading this from a vending machine? Follow us on Twitter!
P.P.S. Reading this post on another appliance? Check us out on Facebook or Google+.

Rent A Dongle

That sounds dirty. Anyways, you can rent a USB dongle that lets you connect to a cell network. If you’re used to using Comcast in America, you’ll find that a Docomo Dongle is really, really fast, just like regular (slow) American cable internet. I’m sure there are other options out there, but I went with Pupuru. I just went to the Tokyo Office after being tired of not being able to find internet, picked one up, and got back on the train. In fact, I’m writing this article from the Shinkansen (Bullet Train), and it’s awesome. Tunnels give me a little trouble, but it’s still totally worth it. All in all, for 20 days, it cost around $100, which includes unlimited internet, the dongle, a one time fee, and a package to mail the dongle back in, before I leave for America again. The one I got was the “USB type” Docomo one.

You can pick these up at the Airport, one of their offices, or even have them send it to you (for an extra fee) to wherever you’re staying. It’s super convenient, and not as expensive as I expected. Plus, unlimited data, woo!

Internet / Manga Cafes

Internet cafes are pretty common, and you can even sleep in them. Sometimes you can use your own computer, though mostly you have to use the computers provided, which means you might not be getting the best computers or browsers. It’s really cheap (the last one I went to was about 150 yen an hour, which comes out to a little less than $2 an hour). It gets you internet, and sometimes things like free food and drinks, showers, and more. You can sleep in some internet cafes (just rent out a room for a long time) if you need to. My only recommendation is to go to a non-smoking internet cafe. They can get pretty smokey.

Paying For Wifi

There are a good number of hot spots out there that you can pay for. It’s not that expensive (Maybe $5-ish for an hour?) and in big cities pretty easy to find. The hard part, often times, is finding a place to use your computer when you do find one of these. It’s less convenient to go out searching, and not always as good. You can find these at Starbucks, and other places as well. I’d just go with a dongle, myself.

If you do want to find free wifi, though, http://freespot.com/ is pretty good. Thank you to all of those who recommended it, it helped me out a lot!

Hotels

A good number of hotels have internet, though in general it’s going to be a plug in Ethernet connection (Macbook Air people should definitely bring a USB to Ethernet converter!). Of course, to do this, you have to pay for a hotel (which you might be doing anyways). If you’re relying on this, be sure to ask the hotel people if they have internet first before booking your room.

Your Phone

I paid for 200mb of data on my iPhone. In one day, I used 80mb. Now, I barely use my phone at all, out of fear (it gets expensive when I use more than 200mb…). Still, you can get a bit of data if you have the right kind of phone and use it in Japan. For this, though, I’d only recommend you use it for emergencies (or if you’re filthy rich). The connection on my iPhone is great (better than when I’m on the AT&T network), but you’d be surprised how fast you burn through data when your phone isn’t on wifi all the time (like mine is, at home). Now I’m only using my phone for the occasional tweet, sending messages on email (in regards to meeting friends, and such), and for finding my way around in Google Maps. If you do go with this route, just know you aren’t going to be able to use your phone as much as you’re used to. 200mb of data isn’t as much as you think.

Going Internetless?

There’s something freeing about not having internet. That being said, I still have to do work and stuff while on my trip, and I have a lot of long train rides that are perfect for the Docomo Dongle I rented. Still, why not head to the countryside and go without internet for a while? You’ll feel better… at least after your Farmville shakes die down.

What other “getting internet in Japan” tricks and tips do you have? I’d still like to know – I’m a newbie when it comes to finding Internet in Japan. We have it so easy in America, apparently.