The Superiority of Japanese Toilets

I’ve written a bit about these insane Japanese toilets before, and with good reason – they’re awesome. They can talk to you, wash you, and even play music for you (both to relax and mask) while you do your business.

But probably the biggest reservation Americans (and others) would have with a Japanese toilet like the Toto Washlet (pictured above), is the bidet (and having a toilet that could potentially become self-aware). Below we have an animated video explaining how the standalone bidets work.

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCAiJO-83-E']

A traditional bidet is just a low oval basin designed for washing your privates. Most Japanese toilets have the bidet feature built in. Many Americans are not fond of the idea of either method. Is there a reason for this? Why yes, yes there is.

Why Americans Think Bidets Are Stupid

Poop goes WHERE!?!

First, we must travel back in time to the origin of the bidet. These things first showed up in France in the early 1700s. Since then, the bidet has spread far and wide, becoming standard in many European countries, South America, the Middle East, and Asia. An estimated 80% of bathrooms in those areas have bidets in them. America, on the other hand, pretty much has none.

Never in my years have I seen a bidet in America. The reasons for this are shrouded in mystery, but there are some theories. Since it was invented by the French, some believe that the concept was then rejected by the British, and that feeling of rejection carried over to the settlers in America. Some think that American soldiers most often saw bidets in European brothels, and erroneously associated them with immorality.

Stinking European brothels and their bidets!

A reason that stand-alone bidets might not have caught on is that many American bathrooms are not made large enough to house them. Then again, bathrooms could always be made larger, and current Japanese toilets have the bidet built in, so take from this what you will.

In the 1960s, a guy named Arnold Cohen tried to market a bidet in America, but soon realized that 99% of Americans had never even heard of a bidet before. This made people wary of purchasing this strange newfangled butt fountain. In the 1980s, the Japanese company Toto started pushing their toilet/bidet hybrid, and met largely the same issues that Arnold saw twenty years earlier.

Kitty, NO!

Also, interestingly enough, most people who grew up with bidets believe the toilet paper only method to be unsanitary whereas those brought up on TP only believe bidets to be inferior. Unfortunately I’ve never used the bidet feature on the Japanese toilets I’ve encountered, but Koichi has, and he loves them almost as much as full body pillows. I figure I would probably use both the bidet feature in conjunction with TP, but I can definitely recognize the benefits of using a bidet.

Japanese Toilets in America

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iY5ET7OAbk']

Fancy Japanese toilets are also pretty expensive. The Toto Washlet add-on lids (see above) currently go for anywhere from $300 to over $1000 on Amazon. And that’s just like, your basic model. These forego the separate bidet and just integrate it into the toilet which takes care of any space issues.

But still, these toilets are by no means cheap. Additionally, people tend to be pretty stuck in their ways when it comes to bathroom issues, so there’s not too many people looking to “upgrade” their toilets. Check out this quote from the president of a recent toilet start-up company.

For Americans here in the US, the biggest issues are personal experience with these products and a major reluctance to discuss bathroom issues or change ingrained habits. You wouldn’t imagine how many people giggle nervously or say “gross” when we try to educate them about the advantages of the bidet seat, yet these are the same people that are still using paper – a much inferior way to cleanse oneself.

-Steve Scheer

The reviews for Toto Washlets and other toilets are stellar. The people who actually have them love them. But efforts to spread this enthusiasm to the rest of America have been utterly unsuccessful. Toto has been working hard to push their toilets on Americans but have pretty much gotten nowhere.

Another issue involving expense is that you need a three pronged grounded outlet to plug your Toto Washlet into. Depending on where your bathroom outlets are, this can be pretty inconvenient, and getting a new one installed can cost around $500 or so. Not cheap. There are also cheap bidet attachments that are just bidet only, but those aren’t Japanese so I won’t get into them here.

The people who have actually given Japanese toilets a chance love them. The rest of America just needs to be convinced how awesome they are. They need to be marketed well. However, marketing toilets and toilet accessories probably isn’t the easiest thing to do, but maybe someone will figure out a good way to do this.

It really just seems that people are reluctant to change their toilets because their current ones work just fine and are perfectly sanitary in their eyes. So why spend more time and money upgrading a toilet when their current one works just fine? That’s the argument that bidet marketers need to conquer in the US. Will they eventually succeed? Only time will tell.

So tell me, have you ever experienced a Japanese toilet or a bidet before? Which method (TP or bidet) do you believe is superior? If you don’t have a fancy Toto toilet, what’s holding you back from getting one? Share your thoughts in the comments!

And also, here’s a link to the Toto Washlet website in case you were interested.

Sites Referenced:
Mental Floss
Priceonomics

Toilets of the Future

This has to be one of the most insane Japansese bathrooms I have ever seen. It appears like there are 3 toilets? Maybe 2 toilets and one crazy sink? I’m not sure, but this is definitely one of the nuttiest Japanese bathrooms I have ever witnessed.

In this video we have one crazy gaijin explaining to us other gaijin how these crazy toilets work. It’s a pretty good demo video that shows off most of the common features in these advanced Japanese potties.

This video shows off some other cool features of Japanese toilets such as music to listen to as you do your business and a toilet seat that lowers and raises itself at the press of a button. Fantastic.

Check out the crazy control panel on this toilet setup. This is definitely one of the nicest, most futuristic toilets I have ever seen. For more information on everything involving Japanese toilets, you can check out the Wikipedia page here.

This video shows how Japanese toilets can actually pee on unsuspecting victims. The future is a scary place. You’ve been warned.

Traditional Toilets With a View

Pretty relaxing, wouldn’t you agree? For some reason I have a hard time picturing scenic bathrooms like this in America. I just don’t think they’d be appreciated.

And if these kinds of hole-in-the-ground toilets look strange to you, it’s because they’re traditional style toilets. Like, from the olden days. You’ll find them in Japan sometimes as well as other parts of the world. Basically, you squat over them when you’re doing your business. I’ve never used one myself, but I can confirm that they are, in fact, toilets.

And for those of you who have always been befuddled by these hole-in-the-ground toilets, here’s a video giving you a basic rundown of how they’re used. Do not under any circumstances attempt to use one of these toilets without the proper training. Improper usage can result in embarrassing messes and sadness.

Crazy Public Toilet

Talk about elaborate. I never saw any of these when I was traveling around Japan so I’m not sure how abundant they are but boy are they something else. Probably pretty expensive too.

And speaking of expensive, check out this $130,000 jewel encrusted toilet. Worth it? No, no, not at all.

Remember how I mentioned poop-powered motorcycles earlier? Yeah, that’s a real thing.

The Simpsons

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IumurVLswvo

Like most other crazy things from Japan, Japanese toilets have also been featured on The Simpsons. My apologies for the lousy video quality but it was the only version on YouTube I could find in English.

Even Potty Training is Wacky in Japan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx8JhSkMg0U

I’m sure many of you have seen or heard of Shimajiro and the wonky potty training videos he has floating around the internet. Why don’t we have videos like this in America? Kids would get potty trained much sooner, I’m sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Zr8bYo-tks

And if potty training videos aren’t enough, they even have potty training toys. I can’t imagine the faces little Japanese kids must make opening up gifts like this on Christmas morning. Insanity.

And judging from the fact that Toto (the primary manufacturer of these awesome potties) has an American website, it looks like people in America can get their hands on these toilets if they really want to. Apparently there’s a Toto dealer about 5 miles away from where I currently live. With these toilets being so widely available in America, why haven’t I ever seen any of them around here? What gives?

So tell me, have you had any crazy toilet experiences in Japan? Seen any crazy potties that I failed to include here? Wish these future toilets were more popular in your home country? Let us know in the comments!

Saturday Timewaster is a weekly post that features Japanese videos, music, images, or games that will certainly waste your time (some weeks more than others). We hope you enjoy!

Do you dread having to run to the little boys room? Does going to the toilet leave you bored to tears? Well, no longer! Sega has unveiled its new restroom game that challenges you to pee to the very best of your ability. You’ve been honing these skills your entire life and now you can finally put your abilities to the test. It’s time to break the seal and break some records.

The game is Toirettsu (ト イレッツ) and patrons control the game by peeing on sensors in a urinal (sorry ladies, you’re missing out on this one). The user’s performance is measured by sensors and all the data is displayed on an LCD monitor above the urinal itself. One sensor detects the mighty challenger when he approaches, and a second sensor uses microwave technology to determine the speed of the stream, which in turn determines the pace of the game.

The line-up so far includes three different game modes. Two single-player modes will have you cleaning up graffiti and gusting wind at a girl to blow off her dress (only in Japan, folks, only in Japan). As for multiplayer, your urinating power is measured against those of previous users and is represented by milk streams being shot from opposing characters’ noses. A winner is determined when one character is blown out of the ring by the other character’s unrelenting milk-powered nose laser.

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQzo78zOPME']

Sega is focusing mainly on dining and drinking establishments since their patrons frequent the restroom quite often. They believe that goal-oriented games will keep restrooms cleaner by encouraging patrons to actually aim inside the urinal. (Imagine that!) We’re not so sure that this will be the case; after all, a long night of drinking can be detrimental to your aim. And how many times will someone toss his Wii-(pun intended)-mote in frustration after failing to beat a high score?

Regardless of whether or not it will keep restrooms cleaner, it will most certainly make taking a trip to the toilet more enjoyable. Toirettsu is slated for commercial release in Japan sometime in November, and will cost establishments ¥140,000 (~$1745) for the hardware, and ¥10,000 (~$125) for each game mode.

So what do you think? Will this idea catch on? Will we ever see similar restroom games stateside? Tell us what you think in the comments below.

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