Follow Japanese Profiles On Social Media

#Japanese

Usually social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook are the sworn enemies of productive study time, gently beckoning you from your browser’s corner tab, but using this trick you can turn their addictiveness to your advantage: Follow a few Japanese celebrities or news outlets so that Japanese writing appears on websites that you visit often.

The extent you take this is totally up to you, add one or two profiles for an unintrusive sprinkling of kanji, or go crazy and make half of your entire newsfeed Japanese. Just make sure each one is something you’re actually interested in, and don’t add so many that using your account is no longer fun/useful. If you do you’ll end up irritatedly scrolling through and only reading your native language.

Here’s a few suggestions to get you started: @asahi (the Asahi Shimbun), @matomenaver (news aggregator Naver Matome), @pamyurin (the weird and wonderful Kyary Pamyu Pamyu) and @55_Kumamon (Japan’s mascot king, Kumamon).

Take it further: If you don’t need to trick yourself into studying, you can set up a separate account specifically for this purpose.

Listen to Japanese Music

There’s more to Japanese music than this, I promise

Japanese music is available anywhere in the world, and even things like Spotify, Last.fm, and iTunes Radio will let you listen to it for free, so there’s no excuses not to try this one.

Studies have shown that listening to music performed in your target language can help facilitate learning by subconsciously training you to recognise patterns of speech and boundaries between words. In basic terms, this means music teaches your mind to break down chunks of syllables and learn where separate words begin and end. This happens to some extent when listening to regular speech, but if words are attached to notes our brains can compartmentalise them more effectively.

Of course, the more engaged you are, the more you’ll learn from listening to Japanese music, but even having it on in the background as you do something else is beneficial. Notch it up to Hardcore Mode by listening to Japanese radio while practicing writing kanji.

Take it further: Expand on this approach by repeating segments of songs and trying to note down the lyrics (the sounds alone if you’re a beginner, the actual kanji and meaning for more advanced levels), then performing an online search afterwards to check your accuracy. If you’re confident enough you could even break out a microphone and give it a shot at karaoke. Or, quietly, into a shampoo bottle, alone in the shower.

Set Your Phone to Japanese

I take no responsibility for phones flung at walls in kanji-induced frustration

Urgh. I know, this one’s tough. There’ll be moments when you’re so frustrated you’ll want to set your phone ablaze in a sacrificial ceremony to the almighty gods of Kanji. But it does pay off.

When I lived in China I used this method to learn the different characters associated with actions on my phone. This resulted in situations where I embarrassed myself by repeatedly failing to put a new contact’s details in my phone, as well as mornings when my alarm would go off and I was unable to differentiate between “snooze” and “off,” forcing me to get out of bed in a fit of snoozeless rage (the most furious of all types of rage). After a while, though, I began to recognise those characters not only on my phone, but elsewhere. I’d use my office computer and understand commands that I’d never noticed before; I didn’t know how to pronounce them at this point, but I’d already done the (arguably) most difficult part of learning the characters.

This is an incredibly frustrating thing to try but if you persevere the spaced repetition involved in regularly seeing the same characters really helps you to retain the information.

Take it further: If you’re a real masochist, you can also go about setting your other devices and software in Japanese. Just remember to write down where the language settings section is…

Label Items With Kanji Sticky Notes

If you’re struggling with vocabulary get yourself some sticky notes and begin labeling things in your home like a family-friendly version of the movie Memento. Either include the kanji and furigana to help you memorize both, or just the kanji in order to test yourself on the pronunciation each time.

Color-coding can be a useful way of organising the information, either by categorising types of words (e.g. on the shower you could have the noun “shower”, シャワー, in one colour and the verb “wash”, 洗う, in another) or the stage of your learning (e.g. green for words you usually remember, orange for words you can sometimes recall and red for those ones that just won’t stick).

Take it further: You could take the Memento comparison more literally and have those “code red” stickers tattooed all over your silly, forgetful face… But I’d suggest just air-writing the kanji with your finger each time you see them instead.

Think In Japanese

Next time you find yourself with nothing to do, be it in a car, a doctor’s waiting room or while attempting to look busy at the office, think to yourself in Japanese. Not having your textbook is no longer a valid excuse for not studying!

An “in-head” review of the last thing you learned is probably the most efficient use of this method but anything from simple sentences about the location of things in the room to complex monologues about current events will do.

Take it further: Memorize dialogues from your textbook, then later try to go through them word-for-word in your head.

Use the Japanese Menu at Japanese Restaurants

You have to earn this

I have to admit that when I used to eat out in Japan I would rely on other people to do the ordering, or simply go off the pictures provided. Even when I’d selected something I wouldn’t bother to read the name most of the time, not when a quick point and “Kore okudasai” (this please) would suffice.

This is a huge missed opportunity though, as food words are amongst the most important vocabulary you can learn. And the brilliant thing about studying by reading menus is that it works for all levels of Japanese, beginners can practice reading hiragana and katakana, while even the most fluent Japanese speaker is bound to get tripped up by dish names every once in a while (I’m occasionally baffled by dish names in English).

Take it further: Ask for a copy of the menu (or take a picture) and take it away with you. Translate the dishes at home then test yourself next time you’re eating there. Who knows, maybe you’ll even discover a new favourite dish.

BONUS TIPS FOR READERS LIVING IN JAPAN

I’ve also included two extra tips to help people living in Japan take advantage of their surroundings and sponge up all that Japanese overflowing everywhere.

Eavesdrop On Conversations

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to listen in on the Japanese conversations around you. If you’re in Japan, you’re literally surrounded by listening exercises far more authentic than in any textbook. Whether in a coffee shop, on public transport or even in the office, stop tuning out other people’s conversations as background noise and start trying to decipher them.

Listening to other people’s conversations even has a few advantages over holding your own. For example, people often talk slower with more simple language when talking to non-native speakers, but by listening to others you get to feel the rhythm of a more natural conversation. And that doesn’t necessarily make it more difficult: negating a need for a response means you can focus solely on listening rather than simultaneously piecing together a reply.

As well as improving your listening ability you’ll pick up new vocabulary and, perhaps most importantly, there’s a good chance you’ll hear things you’ve been saying wrong but people have been too polite to correct you on.

By listening to various age groups and types of people you’ll also put yourself out of your Japanese comfort zone and hear how different people talk. If you work with kids for your day job or the majority of your conversations are with the opposite gender it’s important to do this in order to avoid sounding like them. Because, if nobody else has told you this yet, you almost certainly do. Sorry.

I’m not saying that you should be breaking out a newspaper with eyeholes and making everybody around you feel uncomfortable, though. Be discreet about it. Take a note from Japanese culture and “observe without watching,” or in this case “listen without gaping.” Also, if somebody is talking loudly enough to be heard by the general public it’s unlikely to concern anything they’d be troubled by a stranger hearing.

Plus, your heart is true and your motives pure. Go forth and eavesdrop.

Take it further: You probably shouldn’t take this one further, even if your motives are pure.

Translate Advertisements On The Train

Log out of Facebook, switch off Candy Crush, Farmville or whatever this month’s trashy yet surprisingly addictive game is, and start using your time on the train productively. If you can’t get a seat you may not be able to take out your textbook and study the way you’d like to, but you can get some real-world reading practice in.

Step one: Look up and select an advert. If you’re a beginner make sure it doesn’t have a huge block of text and, whatever level you are, choose one that looks at least remotely interesting.

Step two: Read. When you come across a phrase or kanji you don’t understand, use your dictionary to translate. And don’t say you don’t have one, because you were just playing Candy Crush a minute ago and if you’ve paid for that but not a dictionary we’ll have to have a serious talk.

If something comes up that your translation tools can’t make sense of, don’t give up or spend an inordinate amount of time on it, make a note and move on. You can ask a friend later.

Like setting your phone to Japanese and the sticky note method, this is especially effective because of spaced repetition. Whether you’re intending to study or not, each time you get on the train and see the same adverts you’ll be reminded of the kanji and vocabulary you learnt when you translated them.

Take it further: Before you get off at your stop, snap a picture of the advertisement. This will allow you finish translating at home or, if you’d already done, check your work and review it.

Did I miss anything? No doubt many of you have picked up a few small tricks of your own to improve your Japanese outside of the classroom.

[hr /]

Bonus Wallpapers!

[1280x800] ∙[2560x1600] ∙ [1280x800 Animated] ∙ [700x438 Animated]

In one scene, Big Bird stops in front of a restaurant and looks at the food displayed in the window. He demands to eat the food that’s in the display and, to his disappointment, discovers that it’s not real food at all, just a plastic replica.

Known in Japan as サンプル, or “sample,” this waxy, fake food has been around for nearly 100 years and, over time, has evolved beyond restaurant windows.

Nowadays, you can get this fake food in any form you want: keychains, flash drives, cell phone charms, and even, as we wrote about a while back, fake food iPhone cases.

Where does the fascination all come from? How did fake food come to be a thing in Japan?

You have one group to thank for sampuru: foreigners. Not because fake food is a foreign invention, but because it was foreign influences that shaped it.

As foreign influences became more and more prevalent in Japan in the early 20^th century, more foreigners found themselves in Japan, and the Japanese found more foreign food in Japanese restaurants.

In order to help foreigners unfamiliar with Japanese food and Japanese people unfamiliar with foreign foods, restaurants began placing plastic replicas in the windows so people could have an idea of what they were ordering.

How Do They Make It?

At first, fake food was a primitive affair. Early in its history, food replicas were made with different forms of wax. Of course, this wasn’t ideal; wax isn’t the most sturdy material ever.

Nowadays, sampuru has reached a level of sophistication that early 20^th century restauranteurs could have only dreamt about. The materials used now (vinyl choloride) don’t fade or deteriorate as older replicas did, and could probably withstand the apocalypse if it came down to it.

Through all of this though, one thing has remained the same: fake food in Japan is still, by and large, handcrafted. While you might think that it’d be easy to mass-produce a bowl of fake ramen, most manufacturers take an artisanal approach, taking great pride in their craft.

Some artists even create their sampuru using the same methods that might be used to make the actual food. The closer to the real thing, the better.

Where Can You Buy It?

Where do you go for fake food in Japan? One place makes and sells more plastic food than possibly anywhere else in the world: Kappabashi, Tokyo.

Kappadashi is a street in Tokyo that has an incredible concentration of suppliers of restaurant equipment. Some people call it “Kitchen Town.”

Alongside the shops that sell industrial refrigerators and mixers, there are businesses that specialize in fake food. Shops offer a wide selection of fake food to buy as individual pieces, or wholesale. You can even, as This Japanese Life did, make your own sampuru creation.

For more pictures, check out Danny Choo’s blog from when he visited Kappadashi last year.

Personally, while I definitely think that the fake food craze is interesting, I can’t imagine ever wanting to buy some for myself.

What do you think? Would it be cool to own some fake sushi or a fake steak? Tell me in the comments!

Alcatraz E.R.

Alcatraz is arguably the most famous themed Japanese restaurant and it started the whole wacky themed restaurant trend about a decade or so ago. The setting is a medical prison and the patrons are the patients. The waitresses are dressed like nurses and upon entry they handcuff you, (pretend to) inject a giant needle into your butt, and lock you into your dining cell. Five star dining right here, folks.

While imprisoned, you can order dishes like the Dead Chicken (two chicken feet clasped together), Penis Sausage (sausage that looks like a most appetizing severed penis) and Intestine (sausage again, but I don’t know why they don’t just use real intestine from an animal). To get the attention of your waiter you have to bang on the cell bars just like in a real prison.

Most of the drinks are served in test tubes and beakers and there are plenty of actors wandering around the place pretending to be escaped patients and spooking you at every given opportunity. The nurses are also pretty scantily dressed, so there’s much eye candy here for the fellas.

Cannibalistic Sushi

This restaurant takes the tradition of eating sushi off a female body (nyotaimori) to a whole new level. This time you’re actually eating what’s inside the female’s body. Of course the body is fake, and made entirely of edibles, but still, this is kinda weird and creepy.

Dressed as a nurse (of course), the waitress wheels the body in on a gurney. She then uses a scalpel to cut a section of flesh out of the woman’s abdomen to expose her crimson innards, blood running everywhere. Her guts, of course, are the sushi. Patrons then go on to chop up the body themselves, searching for their favorite sushi pieces. It’s fun for the whole family.

You can chop it up however you want and eat what you find inside. The dough body will actually bleed sauce as you cut it open and all the intestines and organs inside seem to be completely editable. Yum yum.

Ninja Akasaka

This restaurant is all about ninjas and is located in Tokyo’s Akasake-Mitsuke business district. The entrance leads to a maze of cave-like corridors where staff escort you through a labyrinth of trap doors and trick drawbridges before seating you at your private table. Ninja magicians come to perform their ninja magic while you dine. Others sneak up with menus and food, and there’s plenty of neat things to look at while dining.

The maze-like interior is meant to make the place seem like an old Japanese castle and all of the meals are themed after ninjas and feudal age Japan. This, along with Alcatraz, is another one of the most popular and well known themed restaurants in Japan.

Ye olde Tofugu team even traveled to this restaurant way back in the day. To read all about it and see a video documenting the trip, you can check out this ancient post from Erin here.

Alice of Magic World

If you didn’t already guess from the name, Alice of Magic World is an Alice in Wonderland themed restaurant located in Tokyo, Japan. Besides having a really awkward name, the restaurant boasts tons of neat things modeled after both the original novel and the Disney animated take on Alice. The restaurant is designed to evoke a wonderful feeling of fantasy and surrealism while dining.

The restaurant includes playing card dining tables, giant tea cup booths, a magic forest, and heart-shaped chandeliers. One of the creators of the restaurant said that they “wanted to give guests excitement and surprise, like an unreal world with various wonderlands. But we didn’t want it to be gimmicky.” Well gimmicky or not, the place does look pretty impressive. Alice in Wonderland fans surely won’t be disappointed.

The restaurant offers a wide variety of meals including Cheshire Cat Tail Pizza and Burgundy-style Braised Beef Cheek in Queen of Hearts Red Wine Sauce. Mmm, beef cheek. I’ve never really been into Alice stuff, but the inside of this restaurant looks really cool.

Biohazard Cafe and Grill

Video game publisher Capcom installed this limited time only Resident Evil restaurant in Shibuya, Tokyo last July. The eatery is known as Biohazard Cafe and Grill and features Resident Evil-themed food, props, and an unlimited supply of dancing girls in booty shorts.

Pew pew pew.

The centerpiece of the Biohazard Cafe and Grill is definitely the life-size Tyrant statue pictured above. Using 3D projection mapping technology, the Tyrant statue comes to life and the scantily clad staff then shoots Tyrant down to simulate a real life Resident Evil experience. And since this restaurant is limited time only, it should be closing its doors come July 2013. So if you’re hoping to experience this one, you’d better make it sooner rather than later.

So What’s the Appeal?

Some of these restaurants may seem pretty gimmicky, but they consistently do very well. Most of the theme restaurants I’m used to seeing in America are like, attached to an amusement park or theme park, or attached to something else in some way. Many of these theme restaurants in Japan are just standing on their own and are doing just fine, consistently drawing large crowds.

I imagine the main draw of these places is just what you’d expect – an escape from the humdrum reality of everyday life. Sure, if you’re a tourist, these are great places to visit, but tourists aren’t the only people coming to these places. I’m sure Japanese people like to mix it up every once in a while and dine at one of these wacky locations. I know I would.

Anyway, speaking of tourists – Tofugu is heading back to Japan soon, and they just might be visiting some of these restaurants. Since they might not be able to hit all of them, it’s up to you guys to let us know which ones you’d most like to see covered.

Would you prefer the creepy atmosphere of Alcatraz E.R. and the Cannibalistic Sushi? Or perhaps you’d rather see the atmosphere and whimsy of Alice? Or maybe you just wanna see girls dance around in hot pants. Either way, let us know!

So tell me, which one of these themed restaurants would you like to visit most? Ever been to any of them or know any others that deserve some recognition? Let us know in the comments!

Header image by Layla Lane

The thing is, most non-Japanese people don’t know good Japanese restaurants from bad ones. It’s not your fault, though. You grew up eating that Costco Maruchan ramen when you weren’t going to Happy Teriyaki (pro tip: they are not happy). I imagine it’s a lot like when I try to find a “good” Indian restaurant. I honestly have no idea what’s “good,” though for some reason I think I do (I don’t). If I took Ghandi to one of the Indian restaurants I frequent I’m sure he’d slap me in the face.

So, as someone who’s ridden the ol’ Japanese restaurant donkey cart a few times, I’m here to educate you. No longer do you need to go to sub-par Japanese (I should say “Japanese” restaurants just because you don’t know any better. I hope none of these methods “washoku” you, though. Har har har…

Law #1: Be Super Racist With Yelp Reviewers

Law #1? Don’t trust non-Japanese people on Yelp (sometimes you can trust other Asians, but they have to have a good track record). Okay, I know this is super racist (as in, if Superman had the power of racism, it would be at this level), but I hold myself to this very racist standard for all things on Yelp. If I want to find some good Chicago pizza, I try to find reviewers from Chicago. If I want to find good  Chinese food, I try to find Chinese reviewers (who say things like “this is just like what my mom would make me as a kid!!! ermagahd!!”).

Unfortunately, I had to learn my lesson the hard way. Coming to Portland, where everyone is white and can’t tell the difference between chuutoro and ootoro (I know, barbaric, right??), I was excited to see so many highly rated Japanese / sushi restaurants in the area. Then, I went to one. “Eugh, terrible!” I’d say. “Probably a fluke. Let’s try another… wth is wrong with you people??”

Then I learned… Some reviews are much better than others. Things to look out for in order of preference:

1. Japanese people. Obviously they know what they’re talking about.
2. People with Japanese names. Chances are they grew up with at least some real Japanese food.
3. People who mention that they lived / worked in Japan (not always good, but a good indication because they’ve had lots of “real” Japanese food).
4. People who don’t mention “pot stickers” in their review (last resort).

On top of this, you’ll want to look out for certain keywords in the reviews. If a lot of the reviews mention the miso soup, the pot stickers, or the bentos, there’s a good chance that this Japanese restaurant are not the droids you’re looking for. I don’t know what is up with Americans and their miso soup, though. The funny thing is, it gets way better than whatever gets served in America.

As one Yelp Reviewer said: “This miso soup is off the hook!”

Is it really, though? Is it? Yelp needs to add a “sort by racism” option.

Law #2: Avoid Anyplace With The Word “Teriyaki” In The Name

I feel like this goes without saying, but any restaurant with the name “Teriyaki” in it is almost certainly a no-go. Hey, teriyaki is tasty, but it’s almost always incredibly Americanized.

While you should avoid places that have the word “Teriyaki” in their name, it’s probably worth noting that there are good Japanese restaurants that serve teriyaki as a part of their menu. Note that this is probably because most Americans don’t actually like “real” Japanese food, so they have to serve salty meat behemoths. That being said, places that serve absolutely no teriyaki (chicken or beef, especially) at all get extra points and are more likely to be “good.”

Law #3: No Refunds. No Exchanges. No Fun.

Look around you. Do you see signs that say “No refunds,” “No exchanges,” “No …. etc”? If you do, you’re in luck! You may be inside of a “good” Japanese restaurant. Although not all good Japanese restaurants have these kinds of signs, only good ones do. I have no idea why this is, but I have a theory:

1. Japanese person comes to America thinking “hey, I’m going to start an awesome Japanese restaurant.”
2. Japanese person starts said Japanese restaurant. Americans can’t appreciate it because they aren’t used to this kind of “real” Japanese food. Ask for refunds and exchanges.
3. Because Japanese people aren’t used to refunds or exchanges, especially with food, Japanese restaurant owner is shocked!
4. Japanese restaurant owner slowly becomes more and more hard on the inside. He becomes bitter and cold. He puts up signs.

That’s only one theory though! One thing you can be certain of, though: If you enjoy good Japanese food, there will never be a reason to return any of the food you get at a sign-infested Japanese restaurant. It’s going to be excellent food. Give the owner a thumbs up. He probably needs it.

Law #4: Restaurant Should Have A Japanese Chef, Japanese Owner

Whoa Koichi! Don’t go all KKK Nazi on us, now.

Sorry sorry! Hear me out, my dear Grand Dragon Of The Realm!

First off, I’ll say that there are exceptions to this rule. That being said, I’d rather go to a Thai place run by Thai people or a McDonalds run by an American. In general, this is just a better experience. When a Thai person makes Thai food, chances are they’ve been making it their whole life. When someone else makes Thai food, it’s probably something they learned recently (in the last few years). I’m not saying non-Thai people can’t make good Thai food. I am saying that Thai people, in general, make better Thai food. Same goes with Japanese, possibly more so.

Here’s the deal: Japanese food restaurants have nice profit margins. People pay top dollar for sushi, and it definitely doesn’t cost them $6 for two slices of tuna. Because of this, there are many other people who want to jump in on this business to make some mad sushi-bank. This is probably why there are so many “Japanese” restaurants run by Koreans and Chinese. There’s a lot of “exploitation” in this way.

Of course, these people are mainly in it for the profits. I find it hard to believe that they’re in it for their passion of Japanese food. They’re in it for the profits that Japanese food holds, which means the quality suffers as well (people who want more profits cut more corners). So, in general, Japanese restaurants run by non-Japanese people aren’t as good. The experience isn’t there and the passion isn’t there. There’s a reason why Korean kimchi tastes way better than Japanese kimchi.

But how can you tell the difference between a Korean owner and a Japanese owner? Well, sometimes you can’t. Usually there’s a few hints in the menu, though:

1. Do they serve any non-Japanese food that’s Korean or Chinese? If so, the restaurant is probably not run by Japanese people.
2. Are there takeout menus? If so, there’s a decent chance that this isn’t a restaurant run by a Japanese person.
3. Do the menus have numbers next to each item? This is generally a Chinese restaurant thing.

But like I said, sometimes there are great Japanese restaurants run by non-Japanese people. In general, though, non-Japanese people running Japanese restaurants are in it for the money, not for the passion. You’ll be able to taste the difference in the food.

Law #5: Should Not Serve Orange Chicken Or Hamburgers

As mentioned in Law #4, there shouldn’t be non-Japanese food on the menu (maybe something for the kids… maybe). Whether it’s because it tells you that non-Japanese people are running the restaurant or that they don’t have focus, in general this is never a good thing. Have you ever been to a restaurant that was great that served two or three completely different categories of food? Probably not. There are a lot of “Japanese” restaurants that serve non-Japanese food out there as well. In general, they’re not great. Exception? Hawaii. Hawaii can get away with anything in regards to food.

Law #6: Should Not Be Named After Mt. Fuji

There’s one thing that connects all mediocre Japanese restaurants, and that is the name. Usually, good Japanese restaurants have unique names. Perhaps it’s the owner’s name, perhaps it’s something else. What I can tell you is that the name probably does not contain any of these words.

• Fuji / Mt. Fuji
• Bento
• -Zilla
• Tokyo
• Sushi
• Samurai
• Wasabi
• Ninja
• Teriyaki
• Sakura
• Any combination of Beni or Hana.

Oh, and it gets worse when you combine any of these. “Samurai Wasabi,” “Fuji Bento,” “Tokyo Sushi,” “Ninja Teriyaki,” and so on. These sound concernedly real to me.

Think about it. What do non-Japanese people know about Japan? Okay, there’s Mt. Fuji (Google shows nearly 15 million results for “Fuji Restaurant”). Then there’s Tokyo… everyone knows about Tokyo. After that there’s Godzilla, Samurai, Ninja, Teriyaki, and sushi. In terms of “what Japan is to regular Americans” this is about it. There’s two problems with restaurants having names that include these words:

1. It may have been named by someone who knows nothing about Japan (and probably nothing about Japanese food, see Law #4), which is why they chose some generic Japan-related name. Not any different from naming a Chinese restaurant after pandas and bamboo.
2. Someone is making this restaurant for Americans, which means it isn’t Japanese food anymore.

Let me know in the comments. How many of you have Japanese restaurants that include one of these words? I’d bet at least 100% of you?

Law #7: Sushi Rolls Should Not Take Up Twelve Menu Pages

And the last law: sushi! With the soaring popularity of sushi in America, you can’t skip this. Sushi gives you a ton of clues as to whether or not a Japanese restaurant is “good” or not.

One Page Maximum, Please: If the menu contains more than one page of sushi rolls you’re in trouble. First of all, sushi rolls are much more of a thing in America than they are in Japan. Americans go apeshit over sushi rolls, for who knows what reason. I guess they contain less raw ingredients and you can deep fry them? I have no idea. Thing is, there are way too many of them. I consistently run into sushi menus that contain literally six or more pages worth of sushi rolls, and every one of them is just a slight variation on the last. Most likely, this restaurant is run by someone who is not Japanese. There’s lots of money in sushi rolls, so this person thinks that the more they have, the more money they’ll make. Obviously they aren’t in it for the passion of making great Japanese food.

Too Much Rice: It’s hard to gage this if you’re not used to less rice, but in general, “bad” sushi contains more rice and “good” sushi contains less. This is a trick that most Japanese restaurants do to make things bigger and fill you up faster (without having to give up as much profit-cutting fish!). Almost every sushi restaurant in America uses too much rice, I can tell you now. When you find someplace that does less (and higher quality) rice and achieves a better balance, you know you’ve found a gem.

Sushi Chef Shouldn’t Talk To You Much: Well, unless he knows you pretty well. In general, Japanese sushi chefs tend to talk to people they don’t know a lot less (exceptions to this rule abound, I’m sure). Non-Japanese sushi chefs are more talkative. Perhaps this is due to focus. Perhaps this is due to culture. I’m not totally sure, but it is something I’ve noticed. They’re too immersed in making great sushi to talk to you about your marathon or whatever it is you’re blabbing on about.

The Air Should Smell “Fresh”: If you smell the air and it smells fishy… well… something isn’t right. Sushi shouldn’t be “fishy,” and it certainly shouldn’t make the whole place smell fishy. This probably means the fish isn’t as fresh as it could be. Smell the air and turn around if it’s not ideal.

Seasonal: There are a lot of items that should be served seasonally. While I won’t go into what’s served when, in general your chef shouldn’t give you anything seasonal that’s not available fresh during that particular season. One way to figure this out is to ask the chef what is offered seasonally right now or look for a “specials” board. This will take more experience to figure out, but this little hint will tell you about how important freshness is to them.

Sushi Shouldn’t Require Wasabi, Shoyu (Soy Sauce): This is how you know you’ve found the motherload. Almost no Japanese restaurant does this in America. Even Japanese places don’t do this. But, if you go someplace that applies both wasabi and sauce for you (because they know what’s perfect for that particular piece of sushi), you can pinch yourself and see if you’re dreaming. Most likely, you’ll wake up a moment later, hungry and covered in sweat. If you don’t, though, smile and know that you might be at Jiro’s.

That’s Just Like Your Opinion, Man…

Wow, what a load of racism this post was! Sorry about that. Just want to mention again that there are exceptions to all of these “laws” (okay, so maybe they aren’t “laws,” but it sounds cooler). These laws will only get you so far, though. You have to go out there and try real Japanese food if you want to learn to appreciate real Japanese food. The more you try (and cook!) the better your palate will become. Of course, same goes for all types of food, including Korean, Chinese, Thai, American, French, and so-on. When it comes to food, the mother-country almost always knows best. If you want Japanese food you should get it from a “real” Japanese restaurant.

Also, food changes as it gets touched by other cultures. This isn’t a bad thing, and “real” Japanese food as it is now is definitely just a series of changes and adjustments that would probably be an abomination if eaten 500 years ago. “Real” Japanese food doesn’t exist because it’s all real. Same goes for “real” anything. Real is what you make it.

That being said, let’s all get high and mighty about “real” Japanese food for a moment anyways. Tell me about your “real” or “not real” Japanese food experiences in the comments! How many restaurants with the name “Fuji” are in your city or town? How many pages of sushi-roll menu do you read before flipping your table?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Hope you enjoyed this post and are now ready to go out and find some “real” Japanese food. Sadly, there’s a chance you won’t find any at all, but it never hurts to try. Worst case scenario? Just go to Japan.

[hr]

Source: Header Image (note that I’m not saying this is a bad place to eat, it’s just my header picture because it has the word Teriyaki in it).

A small sushi bar near a train station in Tokyo called Sukiyabashi Jiro, run by sushi chef Jiro Ono is largely considered to be the best sushi restaurant in the world; and Jiro, a master at the top of his craft. What is it about Jiro and his restaurant that makes the sushi so good?

Michelin Stars

So who says that Sukyabashi Jiro is the best in the world? Well, the Michelin Guide, for one.

If you’re unfamiliar, the same Michelin company that makes tires and has a giant, puffy, white man for its mascot, has been putting out a restaurant and hotel guide for about 100 years.

The Guide hands out stars to restaurants, on a scale of one to three stars. Even earning just one Michelin Star is one of the greatest honors a restaurant can get. But three Michelin Stars? That’s essentially food perfection.

There are fewer than 100 restaurants in the world with 3 Michelin stars, and Sukiyabashi Jiro is one of the few sushi restaurants to receive that honor.

What Makes This Sushi The Best

What’s the difference between Sukiyabashi Jiro and your neighborhood conveyer belt sushi restaurant? You can’t even compare the quality.

So good, it looks fake.

Instead of the $2 sushi plates you’ll find at lesser sushi restaurants, a full meal at Sukiyabashi Jiro will run you around $300-$400.

You won’t find any sushi abominations at Sukiyabashi Jiro; no Philadelphia rolls, no sushi pizza, and no sushirritos. Everything is served per the chef’s specifications, omakase-style.

The ingredients are world-class. Being located in Tokyo, Sukiyabashi Jiro has access to some of the best, freshest fish in the world. The restaurant even has vinegar specially manufactured to its exact standards.

The preparation is careful and precise. Sushi is served in a specific order, and made only moments before you’re served. Everything comes at the right temperature, at the right time.

And the list goes on. Sukiyabashi Jiro’s obsessive attention to detail is what makes it the best in the world. If you want to read about what a meal at Sukiyabashi Jiro is like (and browse the greatest sushi porn ever), check out this report from A Life Worth Eating.

Jiro Dreams Of Sushi

Jiro, already in his mid-80s, won’t be around for much longer. That’s why I’m excited that somebody is making an entire movie dedicated to Jiro and his obsession for perfect sushi.

The movie is called “Jiro Dreams Of Sushi,” and it’s due out later this year. In the meantime, this trailer will have to do.

I can’t wait till this movie comes out and I can see into the world of Jiro, and what makes his sushi so damn good.

P.S. This post make you hungry? Follow us on Twitter.
P.P.S. Inspired by Jiro’s drive for perfection? Check us out on Facebook and Google+.

Japanese Fast Food Chains In Japan

Now, when we talk about fast food chains in Japan, I don’t mean imported fast food chains like McDonalds, KFC, Burger King and so on. I’m talking about home-grown fast food, where some Japanese person was inspired by the speed, unhealthiness and cheapness of a Big Mac, and said “hey, I want to do that too, but Japanese style.”

Sometimes that means creating something that’s not-Japanese (food-wise) but then making it Japanese (style, culture, and so on-wise). Alternatively, it can also mean someone took something Japanese (food-wise) and just made it faster and cheaper. Doesn’t matter.

I’m going to go over my “favorite” (and I say “favorite” in quotes because I’m not particularly a fan of any of these places, or any fast food in general) Japanese Fast Food Chains and share the cool stuff about them. Let’s start with delicious hamburgers.

MOS Burger (モスバーガー)

MOS Burger’s motto is “Making people happy through food.” So, if you’re depressed and eating food makes you feel better MOS Burger was, like, totally made for you. You pronounce it like “Moss” Burger, so it’s not actually a burger joint owned by a “Mo” (at least, not that I know of). Actually, the MOS stands for “Mountain Ocean Sun” … which I suppose are three things that tend to make a lot of people happy. It’s Japan’s second largest fast food franchise, only behind (you guessed it) McDonalds.

One thing I’ve noticed about MOS Burger is their burgers. They’re freakishly perfect looking, especially on the menu. Normally you see the menu and think… “okay, it’s not going to look like this in real life.”

But, when you get a MOS Burger in real life, they’re kind of suspiciously nice looking… Not perfect like the menu, for sure, but still very shapely.

Their menu includes things like Hamburgers, hot dogs, rice dishes, and (my favorite) MOS Rice Burgers, where instead of having a bun made of bread, you have a bun made of rice.

MOS Rice Burger With Kalbi

If there isn’t any rice anywhere, it’s not really Japanese. I’ve never actually had a MOS Rice Burger, but just thinking about it in my mouth makes me hungry. Looking at the other Rice Burgers, I think they’ve picked good insides that match rice well. Not all that strange when you think about it in terms of loose rice. This rice bun just makes eating it faster and more convenient. [MOS Burger's Website]

Sukiya (すき家)

Oh how I love you so, Sukiya. This place serves gyuudon (beef on rice), kind of like Yoshinoya (see below), though I’d say they do a better job at it (just my preference, Yoshinoya’s all kinds of awesome too). While they have the standard beef-bowl combination (i.e. beef, onion, ginger, rice), they also have plenty of other tasty options as well. Though they don’t look anything like this in real life, the commercial below will give you an idea.

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoEf3o292JE&feature=related']

Mmm, looks delicious, right? And, like many Japanese fast food places, Sukiya is open 24hrs a day. It’s such a perfect place to pop in at four in the morning after you’ve been working all night. Nice and warm and goes nicely with some tea.

There are over 1,000 Sukiya restaurants in Japan and some in China and Brazil as well. Their motto is “Save Time And Money.” Now there’s something (delicious) I can live by. [Sukiya's Website]

First Kitchen (ファーストキッチン)

First Kitchen, owned by Suntory (they make beer and soft drinks, mostly), is a fast food chain in Japan that is mostly concentrated around the Kanto region of Japan (that’s the prefectures around Tokyo). They serve burgers (most popular, apparently, is the Bacon Egg Burger, which sounds amazing because it has bacon in the name), fried chicken, pasta, pizza, and more.

They’re pretty standard in terms of American-Fast-Food-Turned-Japanese places go. There are interesting (but kind of normal) things like croquette burgers, shrimp burgers, and katsu burgers.

The most interesting about First Kitchen, I think, is probably its name, which, when shortened, comes out to “ファッキン” (fakkin)… They’re apparently pushing for people to use the abbreviation FK instead, because Fakkin sounds nothing like First Kitchen and a lot like some other word I can’t think of at the moment. [First Kitchen's Website]

Yoshinoya (吉野家)

You can’t write an overview of Japanese Fast Food Chains without including Yoshinoya. Yoshinoya (like Sukiya) is a gyuudon (beef bowl) place. There’s a special place in my heart for Yoshinoya – it’s fed me many-a-late-nights and also many-a-not-late-days.

Seriously highly recommend cracking an egg into your gyuudon – makes things 10x better.

There are several things that set Yoshinoya apart. First, there are some in America, so you have a chance to find it (though, I gotta say, doesn’t feel the same to me). Second, compared to other places, they’ve been around a really really long time (1899).

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1e-HPMpxdc']

One interesting thing about them is that in 2003, when Japan stopped importing American beef because of Mad Cow Disease scares, they stopped serving their beef bowls (that’s like, their main bowl! 0_o). People lined up in giant lines (that’s what Japanese people do for fun, line up) to get one last taste of wonderful beef goodness before they switched over to pork. Finally, in 2006 they were able to get American beef back again, and all of Japan celebrated (because, who wouldn’t?).

Oh, and if you go to a Yoshinoya, stack up on the ginger. It’s free and delicious. Yum. [Yoshinoya's Website]

Coco Ichiban Curry (CoCo壱番)

Like Japanese curry and want it fast? Like your curry with lots of stuff, like natto, tonkatsu, and chicken, in it? Well, have no fear, Coco Ichiban Curry is here.

Personally, I can’t get enough Japanese Curry (it’s so easy for a terrible cook such as myself to make). I only put boring things like onions, carrots, and sometimes meat in mine, though. The first time I went to Coco Ichiban I was amazed by all the options. I think I got a combination of katsu and croquette – it was giant and awesome.

There are a bunch of these in Japan as well as some others around Asia and California/Hawaii. But, if you’re looking to get a quick curry fix, Coco Ichiban is your place. Just don’t be overwhelmed by all the available options. [Coco Ichibanya's Website]

Pizza-La (ピザーラ)

Now THAT’S a crust

Pizza-La is the most successful pizza company in Japan… but when I say “Pizza” don’t think I’m talking about the stuff you’re used to. Japanese pizza has “different” ingredients. I’m not saying they’re bad… in fact, they’re delicious… but there are a lot of ingredients you probably aren’t used to.

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTP04NuIJWM']

Shrimp Mayonnaise

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8L-XuW4_-8']

Crab

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkoMcXplQMQ']

Roast Chicken, Mozzarella, & Lemon

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUgJ9hEufGU']

Bob Sapp flavored / SUPER Italian

Anyways, those sound pretty good, right? Other pizzas include Bulgogi, several things with mayo, hot dogs, and all the normal pizza things I’m not mentioning because you’ve seen it before. Their motto is “All the taste and toppings you want on a pizza, straight from our oven to your door!” and their mascot is a person with a pizza for a head. He makes good faces.

There’s just no “neutral” when it comes to Pizza-La-kun. [Pizza-La's website]

Ichiran Ramen (一蘭ラーメン)

Delicious fast-food ramen. Even though Ichiran is pretty close to fast-food status, I don’t think I’ve ever had ramen outside of Japan that’s as good as this stuff. It’s tasty – not something I’d compare with McDonalds or something like that, despite calling it “Fast Food.” Maybe it’s the nostalgia, but if I had to choose any Japanese fast-food place, this would be the one.

At Ichiran Ramen, you sit in solitude. You’re in a booth, and it’s just you and your ramen.

To buy the ramen, you don’t even have to talk to anyone either. Just go to the machine, pay there, and turn in the ticket it spits out.

You can concentrate 100% on your (awesome) ramen. If you finish your noodles but want more, just put your plate on the button in front of you and a bell will ring in the back. Someone will grab your bowl and fill it with some more noodles as long as you still have the soup to go with them, making it a pseudo-all-you-can-eat style place.

Now, I know it’s not supposed to be fun eating alone, but I think that’s because most places make you feel bad (i.e. most tables are a table for at least two, if not more people). This place is made for being alone which gets rid of the guilt and the judging. Just you and wonderful ramen.

Let’s Not Forget…

There are plenty of other Japanese Fast Food Chains that exist that I haven’t added to the list. There are probably some that I’ve totally missed (whoops) – but, here are some I didn’t really want to talk about a lot but ought to be on the list, along with a little about them.

Beard Papa’s is a dessert place, so I’m not sure if it counts as fast food, but it’s fast, and it’s food, so we’re going to include it. Their focus is cream puffs, and they’re located all over the world (most of their stores are in Japan, though). You definitely have a pretty good chance to find this place in your own country though, at least compared to some of the other Japanese fast food joints.

Becker’s is owned and operated by JR (that’s Japan Railways, the people who do a lot of the train stuff in Japan). I’m guessing they thought “hey, we got tons of people coming into our stations on trains, I bet they’re hungry for burgers” so then they just made a burger place. They’re all about freshness here, too – if a bun gets more than 1.5 hours old, they toss it (so wasteful, though!). Still, it’s pretty tasty.

Freshness Burger, as you can probably tell by the name, is also all about freshness. They stress the organic / fresh ingredients side of things, which is what differentiates them from the other burger fast food joints out there.

Lotteria Just another fast food burger chain – there isn’t much that differentiates it from the other places, though it tastes fine, and I’d rather go here than McDonalds (though, McDonalds Japan is kinda good).

Pepper Lunch is a “fast-steak” fast-food restaurant in Japan and Asia that has a pretty interesting cooking method. The founder, Kunio Ichinose, wanted to make a place that served high quality fast food that didn’t require a chef (cheaper and faster that way, I guess). They use metal plates that are heated to 500 degrees Fahrenheit by an electromagnetic cooker. The meat, vegetables, and other things get cooked and the customer decides when to eat them.

What Will You NomNomNom?

Now, I’m sure there are a bunch of other Japanese fast-food places I’m missing, but I’m pretty sure those are the main ones. Which ones caught your fancy? Which ones made you hungry? For me, it was definitely having to remember Ichiran Ramen and it’s deliciousness (I’m writing this at dinner time, arrghsddjkfd).

One thing I do know, though… writing this article reminds me how terrible most American fast food chains are. Where are our standards? :(

P.S. If you’re “hungry” for more, you should follow Tofugu on Twitter.
P.S. Totally full now? Hit us up on Facebook or Google+ instead.

[Header Image]