Why Am I Getting All This Stuff?

So why do people tend to give all this free stuff away? In Japan, reciprocity through gift-giving is much more prevalent than other cultures and people give gifts for many occasions. However, it’s not all just from the goodness of their hearts. When one gets a gift, one is usually expected to give a gift of equal or greater value back (unless what you receive is an orei, or a gift of appreciation for a favor).

If you study abroad in Japan as an foreigner, you are often received as a special guest and are thus showered with gifts. A lot of the time, local places will give out freebies to travelers in order to promote their town or business. These kinds of gifts are fine to just accept with gratitude. Be showered with gifts!

So when are occasions that you would receive gifts? There are a couple of major gift-giving seasons, as well as some situational times when you are expected to give things to people.

The New Year 御歳暮 (Oseibo)

Oseibo is what you call the time when you give customary gifts to all of your friends. Oseibo happens in mid to late December. When I was an exchange student living with a host family, I thought oseibo was the coolest thing. My host family had a deliveryman or a family friend at the door at least a few times a day, and we got all kinds of things, from boxes of apples and oranges (I ate so many mikan that month) to azuki and wagashi sweets, to soaps. The most interesting thing that my host family received was a box full of ice and hotate, otherwise known in English as scallops.

Oseibo are a great way to let the people you know just how much you care about them. Remember though- to some, the extravagance of the Oseibo is equal to your love/respect of the person you’re giving it to.

The Mid-Year 御中元 (Ochuugen)

Ochuugen is the mid-year version of Oseibo. Ochuugen is given in usually July or August. It’s kind of the same deal as Oseibo. Give some, get some.

With Oseibo and Ochuugen, one can deliver the gifts directly to the house if they want to. I think it’s a little more personable, and it gives you an excuse to see your relatives. But can get so troublesome, sometimes even impossible because of distance. More convenient is the system of going to a department store or the internet, picking a package, and having it delivered directly to the house of the person you’re giving the gift to. It’s kind of like flower delivery.

Oseibo and Ochuugen seem to be a fading tradition. Most people under 50 are unlikely to regularly give or get either unless it’s from direct family. Companies will give Oseibo and Ochuugen to other companies, but most tend to not give Oseibo or Ochuugen directly to other people or families in recent years. The reason that my host family received so many was probably due to the fact that my host father was an entrepreneur and an owner of multiple businesses, so I was lucky to have those boxes upon boxes of mikan to snack on all winter break, as well as the scallops to adorn my miso soup.

Apart from the traditional gift-giving seasons, there are a couple of modern holidays as well as some year-round traditions to bring a smile to one’s face with material goods.

Valentine’s Day

In my last article about chocolate, I touched on Valentine’s day and how people give chocolate to their friends and significant others.

The pressure to give chocolate to people during Valentine’s day has skyrocketed in the last few decades. What started out as a simple tradition brought from the west by chocolate companies has now turned into a stressful night-before of baking or buying chocolate. A young woman nowadays is obligated to give chocolate to all of her male co-workers and higher-ups. But hey, chocolate is worth it, right?

Temiyage 手土産

When going to someone’s house, never arrive empty-handed! In Japan, it’s considered very rude to not to bring a gift when making a house call (usually food of some sort will suffice). During my exchange student days, my host mother would send me to my friends houses with cakes, donuts, cookies, or candies. Usually whatever you bring will be eaten at some point during your visit and shared with you, so don’t bring things you hate and just want to get rid of.

Traditional Japanese sweets are also very nice to bring, such as dorayaki or daifuku. This ranking of most popular temiyage shows a variety of both Japanese and western sweets.

Omiyage お土産

When going on vacation, have you ever felt the urge to bring a slice of your experience back for your friends and family back home? In Japan, that urge is followed by the social obligation to actually go through the motions and be very tourist-y as you buy mountains of local products.

Hosting Japanese exchange students over the years, I have always noticed that they all go through the same patterns. They have their lists of people to buy omiyage for, and search the local tourist store with scrutiny, looking for something unique to give to their friends or family.

I’ve also been in the opposite position where I’ve had to give omiyage to host families and friends in Japan. I’ve found that from the US, things like T-shirts, books, and candies are fairly standard, but it’s the local products which are bound to impress.

How to Give and Receive Let’s Nihongo!

In Japanese, there are some particular set phrases that are used when giving and receiving gifts. Here you go!

The Giver’s Words

First off, let’s learn some body language. When giving a gift, how do you give it? Do you just hold out one hand, look away, and silently push the goods into the person’s face? Well, I guess you could. But in Japan, there are certain set ways that one gives their precious gifts. Make sure that you give the present with both hands. The receiver should also accept the gift with both hands. But before you take it out and start to push it into the hands of the person you are giving to, say one of these phrases:

つまらない物ですが… (Tsumaranai mono desu ga…)

This is the most formal of the expressions of giving, literally translating to “It’s a boring thing, but.” Normally, when you buy a present for someone, you put a lot of thought into what would make them happy. Tanaka-san has always been saying that he loves fruit, so you buy him the most expensive, fine quality peaches at their ripest point. But still, if Tanaka-san is a super-superior to you and to whom you must show respect, this well-chosen gift becomes a “boring item.”

大したものじゃないんですが…(Taishita mono janain desu ga..)

A little more informal, this phrase translates to “It’s not much, but…”. This phrase is good for plain politeness.

これ、どうぞ (Kore, douzo.)

Kore, douzo would probably translate to “This is for you.” You probably wouldn’t use this for an expensive gift like oseibo or ochuugen.

これ、あげるよ (Kore, ageru yo.)

Friends allowed only! Translating to “I’m giving this to you,” kore ageru yo is good to use among people who you are really friendly with. Mika sees that Moe really likes the cat plushie in her room, and Moe feels like she just has too many plushies. She picks up her neko-chan and hands it to Mika, brightly saying “Ageru yo!”

The Receiver’s Words

Whoa. Someone is giving you something. In Japan, it’s customary to first off refuse it a couple of times. The person will usually keep on insisting, even if they have to force it into your unwilling hands. The degree of refusal someone uses depends on person to person, and also seems to be changing as the nation’s youth is becoming more brazen. But you should still be modest, at least in polite company, and refuse at least once.

遠慮なくいただきます (Enryo naku itadakimasu.)

Once someone has thrown that out at you enough, you can finally “Receive gratefully without hesitation”.

開けてもいい（ですか)？(Akete mo ii [desu ka]?)

In Japan, you should ask to open something if you want to open the present in their presence. Sometimes it can be embarrassing for the giver for many reasons, including that they might think the receiver will fake happiness or gratitude.

Now that you know these, you should be able to get along in the gift ridden Japanese society. Remember, when in doubt, bring something. When receiving something, be grateful and think of how to return the favor if possible.

What’s your experience with gifts in Japan? What’s the most interesting thing you’ve received? Or your favorite omiyage? Share in the comments!

Bonus Wallpapers!

[2560x1600] ∙ [1280x800] ∙ [1280x800 Animated] ∙ [700x438 Animated]

For most of us in the West, Valentine’s Day ends on February 15, but in Japan it’s not quite over until March 15. March 14 – exactly one month after Valentine’s Day – is White Day in Japan.

Valentine’s Day In Japan

To really understand what White Day is all about, you have to understand what Valentine’s Day in Japan is like. Koichi did a writeup about it a while ago so I won’t go into detail here, but the basic gist of Japanese Valentine’s Day is that it’s all about the guys.

Unlike Western traditions where gift exchanges between loved ones are mutual, Japanese Valentine’s Day is all about men getting presents. Sorry ladies, but you’re out of luck on Valentine’s Day if you want to celebrate it Japanese-style. Women have to wait for White Day before they can get any gifts.

What Is White Day?

If Valentine’s Day in Japan is all about the guys, White Day is all about the ladies. White Day is a chance for all the men who received gifts on Valentine’s Day to return the favor to the ladies in their lives.

White Day and Valentine’s Day have a lot of similarities. Both aren’t necessarily romantic holidays – you can give gifts to anybody of the opposite sex, even if your relationship is strictly platonic. Friends and co-workers exchange gifts on both days.

Note: ice-cold response not typical.

And on both days, chocolate is the gift of choice, but there’s a bit more nuance to it than buying a box of See’s and being done with it. You can buy different types of chocolate for the different people in your life: your friends get different chocolates than your co-workers who get different chocolates than your significant other.

Confused yet? Don’t worry, Koichi’s Valentine’s Day post explains it all.

The Origins Of White Day

Cynically enough, White Day is strictly a celebration manufactured by the candy industry (unlike true holidays rooted in years of tradition, like Pocky Day). In 1978, the National Confectionery Industry Association tried to boost sales, and decided that a new holiday was the best way to do it.

Originally it was called Marshmallow Day and was all about marshmallows, not chocolate. People liked the idea of the new holiday, but weren’t too keen on the marshmallows. The preferred candy changed from marshmallows to chocolate, but the color scheme stayed the same – hence the name “White Day,” and why white chocolate remains a popular White Day gift, even today.

White Day Outside Of Japan

White Day is definitely a uniquely Japanese invention, but it’s spread to some other Asian countries, including South Korea and China.

South Korea even has yet another Valentine’s-Day-related holiday: the aptly named day for single people, Black Day. People in Korea celebrate being single by burying their sorrows with a noodle dish with black bean sauce called jajangmyeon.

(No doubt, Black Day is just a ploy by the powerful Korean noodle industry.)

[hr]

So for those in you in Japan, I hope you’re having a happy White Day today; those of us elsewhere in the world will just have to buy our own chocolate.

[Header image source.]

A couple months back, we already talked about how different the Japanese Christmas is. Now it’s time to take a look at another holiday that’s isn’t quite the same in Japan: Valentine’s Day.

As with all Western holidays that have made their way over to Japan, almost all of the changes and “traditions” have been created by commercial organizations, looking to build swimming pools of 500 yen coins. In fact, only during one week before Valentine’s Day, chocolate companies make half of their annual sales. That’s a lot of money, and a lot of chocolate.

Then again, in America (and other places too), we give a lot of chocolate as well. So, what makes Japan different?

Only Girls Give Chocloate

Back in the 1950′s, a company advertised Valentine’s Day chocolates to non-Japanese living in Japan at the time. Then, Japanese companies wanted to get on board too, and started advertising Valentine’s Day chocolates as well. During this period there was quite a bit of “Westernization” where people wanted to adopt more Western / American traditions. Because of this, Valentine’s Day in Japan did fairly well.

But there was one problem…

It seems that at some point someone messed up a translation and ended up telling the Japanese people that Valentine’s Day was an opportunity for women to express their love to men. Because of this, even to this day it’s mostly women giving chocolates to men (don’t worry, men get their turn too, eventually).

Giri-Chocolate, Honmei-Chocolate, and Tomo-Chocolate

It gets more complicated, though. Because it’s not nice to make people feel left out on Valentine’s day (especially in, say, the office), there are different kinds of chocolates girls give out now, depending on who they’re giving it to.

Giri-Chocolate (義理チョコ)

Giri-Chocolate means “obligatory chocolate.” This kind of chocolate refers to the chocolate you have to give to people (who aren’t really people you love). These could be people like bosses, coworkers, male friends, etc. Even sadder still, there’s also something called “Cho-Giri-Chocolate” (Ultra-obligatory-chocolate), which is given to unpopular people you really don’t want to give chocolates to.

In order to tell these chocolates apart from other (less obligatory) chocolates, these chocolates tend to be pretty run-of-the-mill, and not super expensive. Things don’t start getting crazy until we get to Honmei-Chocolates.

Honmei-Chocolate (本命チョコ)

Honmei-Chocolate means “favorite chocolate.” This kind of chocolate is the kind of chocolate you give to the one you want to express your love to. These chocolates tend to be more expensive or possibly even home made. Basically, it has to be obvious that these are honmei and not giri, so they have to be on a completely different level (Way to go Chocolate companies! Ka-Ching! ￥￥￥￥).

Tomo-Chocolate (友チョコ)

Tomo-choco just means “friend chocolates,” and refers to chocolates you give to your female friends (as a female). Simple as that.

Getting The Guys To Give

Guys don’t give anything on Valentine’s Day in Japan, but they do have their own day one month later where they’re expected to return the favor. That day is known as “White Day” (or, if you’re old enough to remember, “Marshmallow Day”), and it also sounds pretty expensive.

To learn about that, though, you’ll have to wait for a month. On March 14 I’ll post something up about White Day as well, so you’ll have to wait until then! :)

Everyone enjoy their Valentine’s Day… and to all you girls out there: I’m waiting for my cho-giri-choco from you.

P.S. If you didn’t get me any cho-giri-choco, then shame on you.

P.P.S. You can make it up to me by following Tofugu on Twitter.