Seriously Japan? Seriously? Every time I think that Japan’s invented the most ridiculous thing, whether it’s a burger made out of poop, sex doll dentistry robot, or a toilet-based video game, Japan just keeps taking it to the next level. All of these inventions are basically past the point of self-parody now.

But now the Japanese company Toto has upped the stakes yet again with their poop-powered motorcycle. Why on earth would anybody think that this is a good idea?

Toto

What is Toto? Before you say anything no, the Toto I’m talking about isn’t the dog from the Wizard of Oz, or the 80s band that had that song “Africa.” If you’ve ever seen or heard of those futuristic Japanese toilets with control panels that heat the seat, generate a courtesy flush noise and have a built-in bidet, it’s probably been made by Toto. In fact, Toto has even trademarked a name for these modern toilet control panels: “washlets.”

#1 sign you’re a foreigner: taking pictures of the toilet.

Not only has Toto conquered the bathroom in Japan, but it’s made a huge dent in the Japanese business world too. Toto is a major Japanese company, part of Japan’s Nikkei 225 stock market, and worth almost US$5 billion.

Waste Not, Want Not

The 3/11 disaster caused a huge energy shortage in Japan. Tons of power plants (including the infamous nuclear plants in Fukushima) were taken out of commission because of the earthquakes and tsunami, so the government began pushing for Japanese companies to cut down on their energy usage.

Companies have done this in lots of different ways. Some companies have used less air conditioning in the summer and encouraged their workers to wear cooler clothes. Toto, on the other hand, set their scientists hard at work in making a poop-powered vehicle.

Well okay, Toto is doing more than just that. The company aims to cut its total emissions by 50% over the next couple of years by doing lots of different things. The poop motorcycle is more of a icon for the whole effort rather than the product of it all.

Toilet Bike Neo Project

“Just a few…more…steps…”

But let’s get down to the motorcycle itself. It’s called the “Toilet Bike Neo Project,”and it’s fueled by “biogas,” a word I can only assume is a euphemism for “lots of poop.” The motorcycle will cruise from a Toto plant in the southern island of Kyushu all the way to Tokyo starting today, October 6. The cycle will ride around for about a month, stopping to educate people on Toto’s conservation efforts and visiting exciting locales such as this butt-shaped rock (yes, I’m serious.)

But that’s not even mentioning the cool features of the Toilet Bike Neo Project. The bike itself has a few novel features that you won’t find on any other poop-powered motorcycle:

Talking Toilet

But it wouldn’t be a Toto toilet unless it was somehow over the top. So that’s why the Toilet Bike Project not only plays music, but also features a talking toilet, complete with a lid that moves up and down like a mouth. All of the childhood nightmares you thought you were long past have culminated into a real-life, ivory terror.

[yframe url='www.youtube.com/watch?v=77nvLGWIfT8']

Light Up Messages

Not only does this motorcycle run on biogas, but it has other cool features too. There are a series of LEDs on the side of the motorcycle and a small computer that controls them. As the motorcycle makes its rounds across the country, it can use the LEDs to write messages as it rides on by. It seems that these messages can’t really be seen unless they’re captured by a long-exposure camera, but it’s still a cool effect.

What kind of messages will the Toilet Bike Project spread? I would hope that it would warn people to stay away from the poop bike and its horrible stench, but more realistically, it will probably be used to spread messages about energy conservation and Toto.

Yeah, kind of like that.

You can check out the project’s official site here, or a good write-up on Spoon & Tamago here.

What do you think of this biogas motorcycle? Do you think it can catch on in the real world, or is it just a novelty? Let me know in the comments!

P.S. Are you already building your own poop bike? Tell me on Twitter.
P.S.S. Would you buy a poop-powered car? Let me know on Facebook.

What if I told you the image above was poop? Would you eat it, even if it tasted like meat? Luckily for you, the image above is not poop – it’s just regular old meat (how boring!). Despite having perfectly good, poop-free meat (like the image above), Japanese scientist Mitsuyuki Ikeda has come up with a way to turn human feces (from sewage mud) and turn it into steak. How / why is would anyone do this? No, seriously. WHY!?

How To Make Poop Burgers

I’m sure it’s harder than it sounds, but here’s the recipe on how to make steak for your poop burgers (I know you’re dying to try something new for that upcoming barbecue!).

1. Find some sewage with a bunch of human waste in it.
2. Extract the protein from said human waste (it has a lot of protein because of all the bacteria).
3. Add a reaction enhancer.
4. Put it in an “exploder.”
5. Watch tasty meat appear before your eyes!

The meat itself is made up of 63% proteins, 25% carbohydrates, 9% minerals, and 3% lipids. In order to make it taste and look better, they add some red food coloring and some soy protein. Apparently, people actually think it tastes like real meat.

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1N6QfuIh0g']

So, why in the world would you want to make, let alone eat, poop burgers? First of all, it’s good for the environment. Cows supposedly cause around 18 percent of our greenhouse gas emissions. On top of that, it will help with the whole “Sewage Mud” thing (and having too much of it). In fact, Ikeda was originally contacted by Tokyo Sewage because they wanted to do something with all their crap.

If that doesn’t do it for you, then also know that Ikeda’s meat is better for you too (less fat). Right now, the poop-meat costs 10-20 times more than regular meat, but eventually he hopes to bring the price down to make it comparable to regular meat. The only question is, will people actually eat it, knowing how it’s made? If it tasted the same, I’d probably give it a shot. It seems sanitary, and everything is killed anyways. My only concern is the taste. Maybe if they serve it to people who don’t know that it’s made from poop proteins.

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfWixqkROWE']

So what about you? Would you eat a poop burger? What kind of side would you get with it? Important questions for an important topic…

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