But even though Japan is rocking the Casbah when it comes to the number of newspapers people are reading each day, there’s some serious work to be done with the reporting in those papers. According to Reporters Without Borders, Japan dropped 31 places in the World Press Freedom Index in 2013. Kind of strange for a liberal democracy, right? Welcome to the secret world of “kisha clubs.”

Kisha Clubs: What They Do And How They Do It

Kisha (記者) or “reporter” clubs are exclusive groups of reporters from major Japanese newspapers, like the Yomiuri Shinbun and the Asahi Shinbun, who set up camp in government and political party offices. The clubs receive press releases from whatever agency or business they’re assigned to cover. (Usually the agency’s PR offices are right down the hall from the kisha club – so convenient!)

The reporters in the club then edit or paraphrase those press releases to publish in their respective newspapers. Besides reading and revising a whole lot of press releases, kisha clubs also organize press conferences. (The life of a kisha club member: So excite; much report.)

And if you ask the Nihon Shinbun Kyokai (Japan Newspaper Publishers and Editors Association), there are super duper awesome reasons for keeping kisha clubs around. For one thing, they sort through gobs of boring political information, for which everyone is grateful. And although it leads to some pretty homogenous news articles – sometimes quite literally, with identical articles being printed in competing newspapers – kisha clubs receive news incredibly fast. After all, they’re in the same building as their sources.

They’re also a united front: plucky reporters against shifty politicians. Who would dare withhold political information when you have an entire kisha club staring you down? Kisha clubs run on the Wildcats principle…

We’re all in this together.

Majorly Bad Business

The problem is, well, journalism doesn’t really work that way. A journalist’s role is to hold feet to the fire, not give foot massages. (Okay, that metaphor got a little weird.) What I’m trying to say is that journalism works best when it works for the people and not for politicians. Kisha clubs, by their very nature, go against journalistic principles of working independently and maintaining an objective distance from news sources – not acting as a mouthpiece for them. And when these ideals get thrown out the window, all sorts of sketchy things start to occur.

We don’t even need to look very far for one particularly glaring example: the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster of 2011. (To catch everyone up to speed: A terrible domino effect occurred in March 2011 when the Tohoku earthquake hit Japan, which triggered a tsunami, which resulted in a catastrophic failure at the Fukushima I Nuclear Power Plant, releasing all sorts of radiation into the surrounding area.)

There was not much investigative reporting following the disaster and very little transparency from the government about subsequent radiation levels, evacuees, and how this disaster could have been averted.

The company in charge of these Fukushima power plants, TEPCO, has its own kisha club, but funnily enough, those kisha club reporters never quite got around to asking the questions the Japanese public most wanted and needed to know. Independent and foreign journalists also reported on the disaster. But, because they aren’t part of any kisha clubs, they were often barred from press conferences – one of the many kisha club rules – making reporting that much harder. Those independent journalists who did make it into these press conferences were often shouted down by kisha club members if they dared to ask any off-script questions.

Blackboard Agreements

Whether it’s your 1998 kid detective club devoted to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (cough) or your standard, government lapdog kisha club, clubs gotta have rules. (Insert your own Fight Club joke here.)

Besides not often allowing journalists from independent and foreign newspapers to participate in press conferences (let alone join a kisha club), there are also these things called blackboard agreements. Sometimes literally written on a blackboard, these are news items and topics that the club has agreed not to report on until a specific later date. The kisha club golden rule? You don’t “scoop” your fellow club member, even if he’s from a competing newspaper. (This is completely counter to how journalism normally works, where reporting a news story first is how many news media survive.)

Following blackboard agreements means having to maintain friendly relations with your sources as well as rival journalists. As with any club, you can get kicked out for not heeding club rules. Some kisha club members do break the rules on rare occasions, because sometimes it’s totally worth it. If a story is huge enough to be worth temporary club banishment because of all the papers it would sell, a kisha club member might just break the story anyway. Of course, there are ways to have your mochi and eat it too.

Weekly Magazines

Japan’s weekly magazines provide an outlet for news stories that may be stuck in blackboard agreement purgatory. A kisha club member will sometimes sell a blackboarded scoop to a weekly magazine, occasionally even writing the magazine article himself. (Club members have been known to sell news stories to foreign presses as well.)

The problem with having your news bombshell break in a weekly magazine as opposed to a newspaper is that Japan’s weeklies aren’t the most respected game in town. Weekly magazines are usually printed on cheap paper and are a whirlwind mix of news, sports, manga, celebrity gossip and porn. Sort of like if The New Yorker and The National Enquirer had a baby.

But, in the most roundabout way ever, once a story breaks in a weekly magazine and gains enough traction, the blackboard agreement becomes null and void and everyone can cover the story in their own newspapers.

But The Internet!

The Internet has decreased some of the power kisha clubs hold, and may yet be a game changer. Independent presses, foreign news sites and citizen journalists have all been part of a movement to provide news outlets that aren’t heavily influenced by government channels.

Independent online news sources like Days Japan and Free Press Association of Japan have started to pop up, but they’ve had some difficulty gaining traction with a Japanese public who are somewhat reluctant to trust online news media over traditional news outlets.

Unfortunately, things are probably going to get worse before they get better. In December of 2013, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe enacted a state secrets law, a move many consider a major step backwards for civil liberties in Japan. Under the new law, those who leak classified information will now face 10 years in prison and anyone found guilty of abetting a leak will get five. Kisha clubs also show no signs of going away.

But there have been some victories in all of this, too. For example, in 2001 Nagano Prefecture’s then-governor, Yasuo Tanako, abolished kisha clubs in the prefectural office. Any journalist, whether they were associated with a major newspaper or a small website, were given the same opportunities to gather information, no blackboard agreements required. And even though Yasuo Tanako has moved on from his Nagano roots, the kisha clubs he pwned haven’t come creeping back.

It’s been relatively easy up until now for kisha clubs to party down without anyone noticing. But with the continuing controversy over how the Fukushima catastrophe was reported in the news and the public outcry against Abe’s new state secrets law, the days of the kisha club may be numbered after all.

Bonus Wallpapers!

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Sources

• http://en.rsf.org/press-freedom-index-2013,…
• http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2007/01/…
• http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/recor…
• http://dowjones.com/pressroom/releases/2…
• http://www.timeout.jp/en/tokyo/feature/2…
• http://www.aim.org/don-irvine-blog/online…
• http://www.projectcensored.org/fukushi…
• http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-12-…
• http://nigeriaworld.com/articles/2010/may…
• http://www.pressnet.or.jp/english/about/…

In 1895, Japan claimed the Senkaku Islands for themselves. Five years later in 1900, a bonito factory was built, making it just about as inhabited as it will ever be. In 1940, the bonito factory closed down (I’m guessing to save resources for WWII), and then after Japan’s surrender, they gave the island, empty bonito factory and all, to the United States. Fast forward a few decades to 1972, where we see the US giving the islands back to Japan. At this point, both China and Taiwan are claiming the islands are theirs, seemingly out of nowhere. China said they discovered it in the 14th century. Taiwan, on the other hand, is just very close to the islands (a mere 76 nautical miles). It’s that little white dot with a red circle around it.

In recent times, the dispute mainly seems to be between China and Japan who have been on fairly tense terms for a long time. Recently, China has sent military vessels to and around the islands in a “military exercise.” If you’re from Taiwan you’ll know what “military exercises” should also include the word “muscle flexing” and “threat” somewhere in between. In addition to this, Chinese company “Giant Interactive Group” just released the video game “Glorious Mission Online” in collaboration with the Chinese military. In this game, it simulates the attack and invasion of the Senkaku Islands!  Quote: “Players… will fight alongside Chinese armed forces and use weapons to tell the Japanese that they must return our stolen territory,” they say in a press release. While this is entirely virtual, you can see why people might think of this as a wink wink nudge nudge saynomore saynomore situation.

But, why is this island so disputed? It’s an uninhabited island, after all. Does it just come down to a bunch of politicians trying to compare, uh, katana sizes? Or, is there something else going on here? Something ominous? Wait, is that a mysterious hatch I see in the satellite images? 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42…

The CIA’s Report

First of all, you can find the entire CIA report on the Senkaku Islands here, should you be interested. The report was written in 1971 and then “approved for release” on May 2, 2007, which hopefully means nobody in dark suits will be knocking on my door anytime soon. Interestingly enough, that dates the release of this article to before the recent flare-ups between Japan and China, so it’s not entirely new. It does, however, bring up an interesting perspective and thus allows us to see what part of the report has come true (or not true), as well as have an idea of what may be to come.

Still, there are some secrets. Several parts of the document are redacted, meaning anything could be in there. Oil? Weapons? Aliens? If nobody says it’s not aliens, I’m going to just assume it’s aliens, okay? Let’s go through this sucker.

The Discovery Of Oil

In 1969, the Japanese government sponsored a survey of the underwater geology around the Senkaku Islands. At this point, there really was no thought from really anyone that the Senkaku Islands belonged to anyone but the Japanese. After the survey, they released newspaper accounts that they had confirmed an earlier UN survey saying there was possibly a lot of oil to be had.

Niino’s team of Tokyo University scientists confirmed the UN survey findings. It established the existence of marine tertiary deposits, more than 6,000 feet thick, in the area surveyed. It also discovered that folding structures, identified as three large barriers and numerous small ridges, existed in several places. This was a significant finding, for it indicated the possibility that geological formations exist to entrap the oil forming elements that are almost certain to be found in the thick marine sediments.

Niino did go on to say that the report, while optimistic, was not enough evidence to really prove there was a bunch of oil down there. But, when oil is involved, people start to listen (and lay sovereignty claims to islands, apparently). You also have to understand the oil situation in Asia back in this time (and even now).

• Japan: Japan, in the 1970s, required the most oil out of all the involved parties. They were consuming 3.8 million barrels of crude oil per day, and it was expected that would quadruple in the next 15 years. 90% of Japan’s crude oil came from the Persian Gulf, and this oil represented 10% of Japan’s foreign imports.
• Taiwan: Petroleum products consumption doubled in the four years between 1965 and 1969 and oil accounted for 30 percent of the country’s energy requirements. Like Japan, they don’t have much domestic oil production, and they import over 90% of their crude oil.
• China: At this time, only around 10 percent of China’s energy consumption, and almost all of the oil needs are met with domestic production. Only 3 percent was imported, amazingly! But, we all know China was going to grow like gangbusters, so they were eager to find more oil to keep up with that demand.

So, there’s the oil situation for the three countries. All of them could use more oil, just like any country, to be honest. But, these were the three that had the best claims to the islands and the (possible) oil that lay below. So, in order to get all this oil, according to the CIA report, different parties did different things, some more persuasive than others.

What Everyone Thinks

It’s almost like Season 4 of Arrested Development. Everyone has their own perspective and story explaining why they think the islands belong to them or why they think the islands belong to someone else. I’m still trying to figure out who’s G.O.B. in this situation. I will make this island… disappear! du du duuh duhhhh. duh duh duh duh duhhh ♬

Kaw, ka-kaw, ka-kaw, ka-kaw

By looking at the various parties and positions in this CIA report, you can see how the story unfolds on parallel paths. What will happen when these paths converge to this story’s climax? Well, actually we don’t know yet, as there’s been no conclusion. But, we can see how it all got started, thanks to the CIA and their central intelligence.

Relating To Japan:

Of course, according to the CIA document Japan had quite the position on this dispute. They are, arguably, the center of the dispute. In fact, until the 1969 survey done by the Japanese government to try and confirm oil, pretty much everyone thought that the Senkaku Islands belonged to them, which means the burden of proof is put on everyone else, and Japan ought to be on the defense.

• 1970: Taiwan queries the Japanese Embassy in Taipei about the exact meaning of the term “Nansei Shoto” (Ryukyu islands) and whether or not it includes the Senkakus. While this is an innocent enough question, it’s the first time someone officially possibly maybe is going to challenge who the Senkaku Islands belong to. Japan immediately puts together a foreign office task force to “study international law pertaining to the continental shelf and territorial claims.” They know something is up.
• Summer 1970: A Taiwanese flag shows up on the Senkaku Islands and is removed. Also, the slogan “Long live President Chiang” (Taiwan) painted somewhere on the island is destroyed. A little bit later, Taiwanese fishing boats were allegedly told to leave by Japanese naval patrol boats. Both sides pretty much denied any involvement in either incident, but tension is obviously rising.
• Mid-September 1970: It goes without saying that the Japanese government officially lays down saying the islands belong to Japan and were not a matter of negotiation.

From the report, it basically says that Japan owns the islands. Anyone else who wants the islands will have to prove that it’s theirs, otherwise it defaults to Japan. Of course, not everyone was going to just lie down and take this, though.

Relating To Taiwan:

Out of all the involved parties, Taiwan is the closest to the Senkaku Islands. That being said, they haven’t had much contact or concern with it until now.

• Before 1969: Taiwanese fishermen came here. Sometimes they’d go on the island to collect bird eggs as well. When this happens the United States Civil Administration and the Ryukyu Government usually protests. The Taiwanese government is usually nice and cooperative about it, never claiming the land is theirs or anything like that.
• 1968: The original UN led survey that suggested there might be oil down there (this is the one that prompted the Japanese to run their own survey) had Taiwanese nationals aboard. Despite this (therefore knowing about the oil before the Japanese survey) they made no claims on the oil until a year later in 1969 after the Japanese survey.
• Taiwan grants a concession to American oil firm Gulf to explore the Continental shelf area around the Senkakus. One way they (informally) disputed Japan’s claims over the islands was by basing their case on the San Francisco Peace Treaty, which limited Japan’s sovereignty to the “four main Japanese islands.”
• 1969: Using Continental Shelf rules from the 1958 Geneva Convention, they claimed the Senkaku Islands should belong to them due to the natural prolongation of of their land territories. While I think this digs their hole deeper, they claimed that the Senkaku Islands were an extension of the China mainland, which is true, but they also claimed to be the rightful government of said China mainland. That didn’t work out for them, obviously, so this statement basically is saying they think that the Senkaku Islands belong to China, not them.
• 1971: In February, Taiwan publicly claimed the islands were theirs when the Taiwanese ambassador in DC requested that the United States “respect the sovereign rights of the Republic of China (Taiwan) over Tiao-yu Tai islets (Senkaku Islands) and restore them to the GRC (Taiwan)” when the US occupation of the Ryukyu Islands terminates.

Nowadays, I wouldn’t say Taiwan is really in the game for getting the Senkaku Islands anymore. I want to say a big part of it is 1) It’s going to be hard for anyone to claim these islands from the Japanese without some damning evidence and 2) they basically said it was a part of China, and even though they thought China ought to be Taiwan, times are a bit different now. They dug their own grave on this one.

Relating To The Ryukyu Government

The Ryukyu Islands, which were currently occupied by the US (and eventually to be given up by the US at a later date), were of course a little worried about this. The Senkaku Islands were part of the Ryukyu, after all! What would happen if the US government decided to give them to Japan? Or even Taiwan! If there’s going to be some oil let it help out the Ryukyu people (aka Okinawa), you know?

• Using the World Meteorological Organization, the Ryukyu government recognized Uotsuri-jima as part of the Ryukyus. They also claimed that before WWII the islands were under the jurisdiction of Ishigaki, the largest  city on Ishigaki Island of Yaeyama Gunto, a part of the Ryukyu that is fairly close to the Senkaku Islands.
• They also pulled up the USCAR Proclamation, Article I #27, which went over the “Geographical Boundaries in the Ryukyu Islands.” This proclamation put the Senkakus easily within US administration at the time.
• Ryukyu officials then announced that they had been receiving taxes annually from an individual who had the title to four of the Senkaku Islets. We’ll see more of this guy in a moment.
• September 1970: The Ryukyu government sent a delegation to Tokyo in regards to the protection of Ryukyu territorial rights over the Senkakus. It claimed the Senkakus were a part of the Ryukyus, and it also made it so that Japan had land very close to the Senkaku Islands. This is useful in case it comes down to the distance between the islands and various nations. You don’t want to be too far away from the islands you’re wanting to claim. The Ryukyu government knew this, and by trying to get Tokyo to agree, they were also making them agree that Ryukyu would get the islands and therefore help out the Ryukyu people (Oil moneeeyyyy!).

In the end, though, the Ryukyu were under the control of the US. And, whatever the US wanted to do, they could do. Still though, it helped to set the stage for later on after the US handed control of the islands to Japan, possibly.

Relating To China

China was a fairly new nation during this time, so it’s interesting to see what they were doing. Of course, the CIA had their eyes on China to see what they’d do (along with Taiwan).

• 1958: China proclaims a 12-mile territorial sea. This does not put the Senkaku Islands within their territorial grasp.
• 1969: Taiwan and Japan issues start to flare up. While it’s said China was probably interested in this oil, they didn’t show it (yet). They kept quiet and let Japan and Taiwan duke it out. It’s probable they didn’t have the offshore drilling technology needed to even take advantage of this anyways.
• August/Sept 1970: Hsin-wan Pao and Ta-kung Pao published articles talking about how Japan and the US were “plundering” the oil reserves of China. They also claimed that Taiwan was selling out to the United States, so nothing new here. It is, however, the first wrinkles of Chinese interest in the Senkaku Islands.
• December 1970: The New China News Agency broadcast claimed that the Senkaku Islands were part of China’s continental shelf, making it Chinese. They claimed that Japan’s push for the oil under the Senkakus was to fuel their growing military establishment.
• China was also worried that this would cause cooperation between Japan and Taiwan, further complicating the whole “Taiwan existing” thing.
• Peking also begins to support a “200-mile territorial sea” claim, like those in Latin Amercan nations. They also go on to support the right of countries to determine their territorial sea limits “in accordance with their geographical conditions and geological and biological characteristics as well as the need of a rational use of their own resources.” Basically, they tried to make things as loosey goosey as possible so that they’d be able to claim the Senkaku Islands (and Taiwan itself, theoretically) based on this.

Based on Continental shelves, China does have a moderately decent claim, though. It’s the same claim Taiwan was trying to make while it was saying China ought to belong to them as well.

You can actually see the continental shelf right here. The dark parts are where things get really deep, and in theory they sort of break apart regions under the water. You can see the Senkaku Islands are Northwest of that small dark spot, showing where the (Chinese) shelf ends. On the other side is the line of Ryukyu Islands, which belongs to the US (at the time) and Japan (now). By this logic Taiwan would be a part of China as well.

While I don’t agree, it is the strongest claim the Chinese have for the islands. If this thing is banged out enough and gets to some kind of world court, they could use this evidence to claim the islands. It’d still be a long shot, but anything’s possible if the glove doesn’t fit.

Relating To The US

At this point in time, the US is occupying the Ryukyu Islands, and in their minds, the Senkaku Islands as well.

• Early in their administration of the Ryukyus, the US set up two of the Senkaku islets as gunnery ranges, one of which they paid $11,000 in rent for in 1971. The person receiving the money, the US says, pays taxes to the Ryukyu government (remember that from the Ryukyu section?), thus making the land Ryukyu territory.
• The other islands, however, were considered Japanese territory, so now during the occupation the US can use them without cost. Obviously, the US considers the Senkaku Islands as Japanese. They also consider themselves occupying it.
• 1969: USCAR established a policy stating that US approval was necessary prior to Ryukyu (or third party) use of the tidelands or waters. Once again, US controlled.
• 1970: The US tried not to get involved until now, when the Taiwanese and Japanese government started to really heat up about who owned it. After making some statements on the situation, they helped to form the Tripartite Committee in the summer of 1970. The committee between national leaders in Japan, Taiwan, and South Korea (where’d you come from, South Korea?) thought it would be a good idea to create a join-venture company for ocean development. This is what triggered the 1970 Chinese accusation that the joint development plan was really a trick “instigated by Japanese militarists, aided and abetted by “the Chiang Kai-shek bandit gang and the Pak Jung Hi clique, and whose purpose was the plundering of the seabed and undersea oil resources of China and Korea (I’m guessing North Korea is what they’re talking about here).
• December 1970: The Tripartite Committee met again, and agreed on a broad purpose: the “planning and execution of surveys, research and development of marine resources.” They also agreed to keep their negotiations out of formal international diplomatic channels unless it seemed favorable. They agreed they’d be able to do independent surveys around the islands.
• Due to the domestic troubles of the various nations, though, the Tripartite Committee was falling apart. On top of this, China was expressing its concern over the whole matter, supposedly (according to the CIA) trying to delay everything until they had the technology to go out there and run their own surveys / drill their own wells. Their oil economy was still maturing, and they needed some time, so they were stalling.

Mainly, though, the US played a watchful role, only stepping in when things got a little too spicy. They had their opinion, sure, but they also didn’t want to get too involved. They would have to hand off the Ryukyu Islands at some point anyways, so its best not to get your hands too dirty, right?

Relating To The Cartographers

Apparently old maps is one way that people settle claims on what belongs to who. So, the cartographers get a say! Let me “map” the whole thing out for you.

• 1966: The “Red Guard” atlas published in Peking during the Cultural Revolution includes a map of the internal administrative areas of Communist China. It indicates the Senkaku Islands area as someplace that’s not within China’s border. It also indicates the Ryukyu Islands as Japanese, though there’s nothing new there. Another map in the same atlas shows Taiwan as part of China, but excludes the Senkaku Islands unlike later maps which quietly add the islands in with Taiwan as part of China.
• 1967: The same maps are shown in the “popular edition” of Atlas of China, a book published in Peking. In these maps, though, they also include “areas of dispute” on the maps. The Senkaku Islands are not included in these areas, so according to this map, at least, the Senkaku Islands are indisputably Japanese.
• 1970: After oil was discovered, Chinese maps began including the Senkaku Islands as Chinese. China’s Ministry of National Defense published an Atlas of China showing the Senkakus in both the Chinese and Japanese language. In 1962, the earlier version of this map didn’t name the islands at all.
• A random selection of maps printed in Europe and privately published do not indicate the area of the Senkakus to be Chinese. Also, the 1967 version of the USSR’s official Atlas Of The World specifically indicates the Senkakus to be Japanese.

Who knew maps could be so useful! It’s interesting to see how they quietly change depending on what’s going on with oil and politics. Looking up the Senkaku Islands in Google Maps right now, it seems they’ve taken a safe stand on the issue. There’s both the Chinese/Taiwanese name and the Japanese one with no country attached at the end. Well played, Google Maps. Well played.

Who Does It Belong To?

So that’s the report given by the CIA! It’s surprisingly not that much different from the way things are now. Nobody’s drilling the Senkaku Islands, and China’s still claiming the islands are theirs. In fact, tensions only seem to be rising in recent months/years, despite all this time going by. Can you believe that 1970 was over forty years ago? I know I can’t. I guess some things will never change.

If you want, you can read the original CIA report here. I wonder what’s in the redacted parts! Dun dun dunnnn.

Bonus Wallpapers!

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Thanks to /r/Japan for the lead!

You get strange politicians all over the world. The US has boasted both a professional wrestler and a bodybuilder governor, and a town in Alaska even has a cat for a mayor (Stubbs 2016!).

“Mister mayor, please . . .”

Japan is no different. In Japanese government, you get some pretty strange politicians and some even stranger candidates. And what’s great about Japanese politics is that there’s a tradition of seikenhousou (政見放送), an uninterrupted, solo, televised broadcast of a candidate’s political views.

With elections coming up in Japan, eccentric and unusual political candidates have once again come out of the woodwork to make a grab for power; or at least, make their voices heard.

Let’s take a look at some of the wildest candidates in Japanese past and present:

Rock and Roll Nationalist TOKMA

46-year-old TOKMA is has made his occupation as a musician, but with the governorship of Tokyo opening up, he’s decided to try a career change.

Apparently caught up in the nationalist fervor surrounding this year’s dispute over the islands in the sea of Japan, TOKMA actually visited the Senkaku islands earlier this year.

He belongs to Japan’s Happiness Realization Party, and states his positions the only way he knows how: through a music video:

With a katana for a microphone stand, you know he’s not messing around.

TOKMA’s political views are pretty extreme and a little angry, but maybe that’s to be expected out of a rock star politician. We’ll see how TOKMA’s larger-than-life image suits him during his first foray into the political arena.

Bald Anarchist Koichi Toyama

A few years ago, Koichi Toyama’s run for the Tokyo governorship caught the attention of the internet when his seikenhousou was posted to YouTube.

Running on an anarchist platform, Toyama’s speech was far from your typical political pandering. Say things like “This nation must be destroyed! I do not have a single constructive proposal!” doesn’t usually get you elected.

When all of the votes were counted in the governor’s race, Toyama won some 15,000 votes, or a whopping 0.27% of the final vote.

Not one to get discouraged, the next year Toyama went on to run for President of the United States in 2008. He’s convinced that Japan is a 51^st state of the USA, and he can therefore participate in US elections. Whether or not anybody recognized his run as legitimate is another issue entirely.

Once again, Toyama wowed audiences with an impassioned speech full of lines like: “I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released, I ran to M^cDonald’s. I had a Big Mac and a Coke. It was fantastic.”

In case you didn’t hear, Toyama did not win the 2008 US Presidential election. Instead, the election went to some guy named Obama (must be Japanese).

Just last week, Toyama declared that he will run for House of Representatives in Kumamoto’s 1^st district. We’ll see how this election goes for one of Japan’s most fiery political figures.

Singer and Movie Star Yuuya Uchida

In the 60^s and 70^s, Yuuya Uchida collaborated with a who’s who of classic rock and roll superstars, including the Beatles and Frank Zappa. Towards the end of his music career, he gave acting a shot, appearing in a few Japanese movies and the Ridley Scott film Black Rain.

And then in 1991, he tried something really different: running for Governor of Tokyo.

Uchida was, of course, given his seikenhousou to say what he wanted, but his message was unorthodox, even by seikenhousou standards.

During his one shot to deliver his message to the Japanese public, Uchida did pretty much everything imaginable to make sure that his message wasn’t received by the Japanese public.

He spoke in both English and French. He sang in English and Japanese. He never once even alluded to policies he might implement as Governor of Tokyo. And he seemed to somehow finish his speech under the time limit and just sit in awkwardly for a while.

Uchida, of course, didn’t win the election. I wouldn’t feel too bad for him though; he continued to act in movies, and leads a rock and roll lifestyle to this day. Hell, if you’re in Japan, you can join Uchida for his “New Years World Rock Festival.” For rocking for over forty years: Mr. Uchida, we salute you.

Mitsuo “Jesus” Matayoshi

If it’s not already obvious from his name, Mitsuo “Jesus” Matayoshi thinks that he’s Jesus Christ. This isn’t too outlandish because, as we all know, Jesus lived, raised a family, and died in Japan (or so they claim).

Matayoshi has claimed that he plans to bring judgement upon the world by ascending to power through the political process. He starts by assuming a relatively minor position – a mayorship or governorship – then continues climbing the ladder to Prime Minister of Japan, then Secretary General of the UN.

While Matayoshi has run for countless political positions, he has yet to actually win any of his campaigns. Over the course of two decades, Matayoshi has run for the mayorship of two towns, governor of Okinawa, and positions in the Japanese Diet in three separate districts.

Despite his claim to godliness, Matayoshi is an Old Testament angry, vengeful God. Matayoshi has been known to tell his political opponents to commit seppuku, the ritual suicide practiced by samurai. When I ask “What Would Jesus Do?,” the answer is rarely “tell somebody to disembowel themselves.”

Following calls for suicide, Matayoshi also usually threatens to personally throw his political opponents into the fires of Hell. Not the kind, loving God most of us like to envision.

Smile Party President “Mac” Akasaka

While a lot of these candidates are pretty angry and negative, Mac Akasaka is a bright ray of hope in an otherwise dark political landscape.

Akasaka is the president of Japan’s Smile Party, a party with seemingly only one member – Akasaka himself. But that hasn’t kept him from pushing his pro-smile agenda.

All of Akasaka political speeches have the same themes of happiness and smiling. He usually even gives lessons on how to smile during his speeches, in case you were having trouble. And while Akasaka’s speeches are all more or less the same, his outrageous wardrobe changes all the time.

The magic happens around two minutes in.

Akasaka hasn’t been politically active for very long (only since about 2007), but in that short time he’s really given it his all. He’s run in races for everything from local city positions to seats in the Diet to the governorship of some of the country’s largest prefectures.

It looks like Akasaka is throwing his hat in the ring once again this year by running for Governor of Tokyo. Will this be the year that the Japanese embrace a pro-smile agenda? Probably not, but I’m still a believer.

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All-You-Can-Eat Burger King? This Is Madness, Japan.: In recognition of Burger King’s fifth year since it returned to Japan, it’s offering something unusual for a fast food restaurant: an all-you-can-eat meal. For a limited time, if you order one of its famous black burgers, you get half an hour to eat as much as humanly possible. There’s also the fact that Burger King appreviates to B’iKing, which sounds like “viking,’ which is, as you should know, an all-you-can-eat-buffet. You knew that, right?
[/threecol_two] [threecol_one_last]World’s First 3D Printing Photo Booth to Open in Japan: 3D printing has become cheaper and cheaper over the years, to the point where you can have your own at home. Or, for a limited time in Japan, you can use a 3D printing photo booth to print out miniature replicas of yourself. Narcissistic? Maybe. Cool? Definitely.

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[threecol_one]Japanese maitre d’ Shin Miyazaki wins world cup for waiters: A lot of the times being a waiter can be a low-paying, thankless job, but Shin Miyazaki has elevated his maitre d’ skills into an artform. Last week, Miyazaki won the Georges Baptiste cup in recognition for being the world’s best waiter. It’s unknown at this time how good the tip was. [via News on Japan]

Report: Pleas for Japan’s Most Infamous (and Frightening) Blogger To Stop: I feel bad for Japanese actress Aki Higashihara. She likes to blog, but seems to leave a trail of broken dreams in her wake. Not only do the Japanese suspect that she’s responsible for the failure of the Dreamcast, the appearance of parasites in McDonald’s burgers, Japan’s poor performance in the Olympics, but they suspect that she’ll keep destroying people with her blog. I, for one, would like to invite her to blog for Tofugu and see what happens.
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[threecol_two]Tokyo Governor Ishihara Resigns: Tokyo’s notorious governor Shintaro Ishihara has announced this week that he will be stepping down from his position to focus on national politics. The 80-year-old Ishihara, besides being known for his war on crows, has a reputation for his off-the-cuff, often offensive remarks including saying that “the Nanking massacre never happened,” the 3/11 tsunami was “divine punishment” for Japan, and that “homosexuality is an abomination.” It’s unfortunate that Ishihara is focusing his efforts on national politics, as I’d hoped he’d be retiring to spend more time saying offensive things to his family. [via New York Times, Shisaku, Reddit][/threecol_two] [threecol_one_last]Windows 8 Hits Akihabara: When Microsoft released its newest operating system, Windows 8, it recognized what people look for most in an operating system: moe mascots. In keeping with Japan’s long-running tradition of anthropomorphizing operating systems, Windows 8 is represented by two mascots. The question now is when is Apple going to make a play for the otaku market and endorse its own OS-tan? This never would have happened if Steve Jobs were still around!

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[threecol_one]Moe Girl “Sakura Yamagata” Chosen to Promote Climbing Tourism : It seems like nothing in Japan can be without a mascot, and the Japanese have once again confirmed my suspicions. Gifu prefecture held a contest to create a mascot to represent mountain climbing tourism in the area. The winner is a character by the name of Sakura Yamagata, a name which has the kanji for mountain (山) in it. All we need now is a mascot for tourism-related mascots and the cycle will be complete.

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One thing that comes in abundance with election year is polls. So. Many. Polls. It seems like every other day there’s a new poll out, and each one contradicts the last.

Even though I thought I couldn’t stand to see another poll, one in particular caught my eye. It wasn’t a poll of likely, registered, or even undecided voters; hell, it wasn’t even a poll of US citizens. It was a poll about people abroad about how they view the US and Obama.

The news isn’t great for the US. The poll, done by the Pew Research Center, shows that most of the world thinks less of Obama and the US in general than they did even just a couple of years ago. The only holdouts are parts of Europe and Japan.

Why is Japan still holding on? Why do they love us so much?

The Good

Obviously, Japan and the US have had a special relationship for quite a long time at this point. Despite the two countries’ sometimes checkered past, the US and Japan have been close allies for the better part of a century.

The Japanese also dig American people, for the most part — 80% of Japanese people polled said that they had a favorable view of Americans. And even though I sometimes think that American culture is the lowest common denominator, 69% of Japanese people polled said that they enjoy US cultural exports.

But part of Japan’s continuing friendship has to do with US support following the 3/11 earthquake and tsunami. Despite all of the ignorant knuckleheads who said it was all somehow karmic payback for Pearl Harbor, the US was generally supportive of Japan in its time of need.

Here’s what Pew had to say:

In Japan, 72% currently express a favorable opinion of the U.S., up from 50% four years ago. America’s image in Japan improved dramatically in 2011, due in part to American relief efforts following the devastating March 2011 earthquake and tsunami. Fully 85% of Japanese respondents expressed a positive view of the U.S. in last year’s poll.

The Bad

Not everything is all rainbows and sunshine between the US and Japan. The issue of US military bases in Okinawa is always lingering in the background, and there are plenty of other issues the Japanese disagree with the US about.

The Japanese overwhelmingly (75%) oppose unmanned drone strikes by the US, but it’s hard to come by somebody who actually supports them. Only 44% of Japanese favor how the US is fighting terrorism, but again, not a surprise considering modern Japan’s pacifism.

These issues aren’t all that surprising or even very new. What really got me curious was why do the Japanese still love Obama so much?

The ‘Bama

Obama has a lot going for him in Japan. Not only is his name easy to say in Japanese (オバマ！), but he shilled for the US, appearing in ads all over Japan.

Well, maybe not; but the Japanese still really dig Obama. 74% say that they have confidence in Obama as a leader, and 66% say that they want to see him re-elected in November.

Why? It’s difficult to say. Pew doesn’t spell it out for us, so we can only speculate about why these respondents dig Obama so much. Is it his policies? His charm? His prowess on the basketball court?

Regardless of what it is that draws Japanese people to Obama, they fact is that they have a lot of confidence in him. In fact, during Obama’s presidency, at least 70% of Japanese people have said that they’re confidence in his leadership.

Pew hasn’t polled 小浜市, or the city of Obama, Japan, but judging how they reacted last time, I’d say that (Barack) Obama has Obama (city) in the bag.

Header image by Ramón Durán