These are some of my favorites / the ones that are off by the most. Which ones surprised you?

1. Smart (スマート)

Oh, I know that one, I’m “smart.” WRONG. In Japanese, the word “smart” means “physically slender.” Here you thought that people were finally getting to know you for who you are on the inside. They’ve finally come to appreciate the genius inside your brain. Well, guess again smarty pants (whole new meaning now, right?). You’re just slender, which I suppose isn’t a bad problem to have.

English: Smart
Japanese: Slender, Slim, Stylish

2. Pants (パンツ)

I think this is a British English thing (you crazy Brits!), but in American English when you talk about pants you’re talking about the thing that goes on the outside of your pantsu. “Pants” in Japanese means underwear, especially panties. So, when you ask someone what kind of pants they’re wearing… well… you better know what you’re asking.

English: Pants
Japanese: Underwear, Panties

3. Ice (アイス)

This one kind of makes sense. At least they’re both cold, and at least they both start with the word “ice.” In Japanese, the word “ice” refers to “ice cream,” so if you’re looking for some delicious ice cream you’ll want to ask for ice. If you want ice-ice you’ll want to ask for こおり (koori).

English: Ice
Japanese: Ice Cream

4. Cunning (カンニング)

In English the word cunning refers to someone who is cunning. This is someone who is marked by or given to artful subtlety and deceptiveness. Now, I suppose that someone who is known to be “cunning” may also dabble in cheating, but in Japanese the word “cunning” refers to cheating. If you’re a cheater, you are cunning. A cunning plan? I have one.

English: Cunning
Japanese: Cheating

5. Service (サービス)

When you think of the word “service” you think of the thing that waiters try to give you when you’re at a restaurant. “The service here is terrible, no tip for you!” But, in Japanese a “service” is when you get something for free. For example, the chocolates aren’t usually free but today, for you, because I like your face… they’re service (aka you get them for free, you good looking frood you).

English: Service
Japanese: Free, Freebie

6. Snack (スナック)

Mmm, delicious Bugles. They are a type of snack. But, in Japanese when you talk about “snack” you’re talking about a social bar where people go and hang out and hit on each other. Sure, you probably get some tasty snacks while you’re there, but probably not the Bugle-craving solution you were hoping for.

English: Snack
Japanese: Social Bar

7. Viking (バイキング)

By Odin’s Raven! Vikings in Japan? Well, it’s not what you think. A “Viking” in Japanese is an all you can eat buffet. I thought it was called this because vikings eat all they want, but it turns out the story behind this word is a little bit longer than just that. So, if your friend asks you if you want to go to a viking, don’t run to go get your horned helmet. You’re going to an all you can eat buffet.

English: Viking
Japanese: All You Can Eat Buffet

8. Naive (ナイーブ)

If you call someone “naive” in an English speaking country, they probably won’t be super happy with you. In Japan, however, it’s a compliment. If you call someone “naive” in Japan, it means they’re delicate, sensitive, and gentle. That’s why there’s a whole line of products called “Naive” in Japan. They make your hair, face, etc., nice and naive.

English: Naive
Japanese: Soft, Gentle, Delicate, Sensitive

9. Mansion (マンション)

Oh man, what I would give to live in a mansion! Wait, what’s this apartment? I thought I was just getting an awesome deal! Oh no… In Japan, a “mansion” is an apartment. Certainly not “mansion” level, at least how English speakers think of it. You’ll see ads everywhere for mansions for rent. Now you know you’re not getting one of Nick Cage’s old houses. Just makes me want to take someone’s face… off.

English: Mansion
Japanese: Apartment

Also Worth Mentioning…

There are many other words just like this, but the above list includes my favorites. Let’s list off some other ones that I didn’t mention already. You’ll see that they tend to be a little less out there in terms of where it got lost in translation.

English: Machine (ミシン)
Japanese: Sewing Machine

English: Stove (ストーブ)
Japanese: Heater

English: Cooler (クーラー)
Japanese: Air Conditioner

English: Home (ホーム)
Japanese: Train Platform

English: Juice (ジュース)
Japanese: Soft Drink, Juice

English: Renewal (リニューアル)
Japanese: Renovation, Update

English: Desk (デスク)
Japanese: Person in Office

English: Mentality (メンタリティー)
Japanese: Intelligence

And, I’m sure there are plenty of others as well that I couldn’t think of or find. I suppose that’s just the price of any language. When you start mixing and matching, pieces go missing and show up somewhere else. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s always entertaining to see.

Which of these did you think was the most interesting? Any of these trip you up personally? Naive took me a while to figure out.

I’ve been reading a book about North Korea recently (Nothing to Envy), and have watched a few of the excellent Vice documentaries, and they all drive home the point that language is tightly controlled there in a very different way. The government punishes those that speak out against the state, and language is peppered with phrases praising the Kim family, the Communist Party, and North Korea itself.

Fortunately, Japanese is far from the censored language of North Korea. There isn’t any central authority that controls Japanese, so it’s changed and evolved very organically.

The only thing that could be considered even government control of language is the lists of common kanji that the government publishes like the jouyou kanji; but those reflect kanji’s actual usage more than the government’s desires to have people use them.

Instead, Japan swallows up foreign words indiscriminately. Obviously, that’s not unique; we forget that a lot of languages borrow heavily and shamelessly from other languages. You can see this both in English’s use of Japanese words that made it into English dictionaries (which Koichi covered a few years ago), to the incredible influence of Chinese on Japanese writing.

But to a lot of people, Japanese seems especially open-minded to outside influences. The number of loan words (外来語 or gairaigo) used in everyday Japanese can be pretty astounding, and takes from a ton of different languages.

For one, you have 和製英語, or “Japanese-made English.” These are words and phrases that don’t see a ton of usage in English-speaking countries, but are used fairly regularly in Japanese. Words like サラリーマン (salaryman), ガード マン (“guard man”), or スキンシップ (“skinship”) all are derived from English words, but wouldn’t strike many native English speakers as very natural-sounding or commonplace.

Japan’s loan words obviously aren’t limited to English; other languages pitch in a bunch too. The words イギリス (England), パン (bread) and even てんぷら (tempura) come from Portuguese words. (Believe it.) German helps out with アルバイト (part time job), which comes from the German word arbeit.

Why does this all happen? Most of it has to do with trade, harkening back to when Japan’s only exposure to the outside world was through a handful of designated trading ports.

I’ve also heard people talk a lot about how Japanese culture is really good at taking something foreign, changing it a bit, and turning it into something very Japanese. After all, if mayo is a normal topping for okonomiyaki, anything’s possible, right?