Although you could make the learning process much easier by understanding these three important differences between the English and Japanese languages, I’d say understanding ‘formality’ is very difficult even for Japanese people. In fact, it may be even more difficult for the Japanese people, as some leeway is usually given to those who aren’t Japanese.

Formality

I believe that it is generally considered a positive thing to be friendly to someone in Western countries. Although there are certain situations where more formality is required, friendly personalities usually tend to be well received. In Japan however, the situation is quite different, since the Japanese language has a “formality” system.

It is often considered rude to sound too friendly to a person who is older than you, has higher social standing, or is someone you have just met. I mean, Japanese people like people who have friendly personalities and the same is true for people of other countries.  However, it is generally preferable to be formal and polite when talking to acquaintances until you have developed a closer relationship that allows for more friendliness. Does this make sense?

“This isn’t a good morning no matter how you say it.”

In English, it is just fine to speak the same way to everyone, within reason, right? For example, you would say the phrase “Good morning,” to your spouse, your boss, your friends, and to a complete stranger. Some people might omit “good” and just say “morning” but it doesn’t matter who you are talking to. Things are quite different in Japan.

Tell me, did you think, “Seriously? Even good morning is different in Japan?” Unfortunately, the answer is yes. There, you must speak differently to different people based on their age and their relationship to you, even when saying something as simple as ‘good morning’.

Good Morning

Okay, let me illustrate how the morning greeting can be different.  The formal Japanese morning greeting is “お早うございます/Ohayou gozaimasu”, the informal one is “おはよう/Ohayou” and a very casual one is “おっは〜/Ohha~.” This doesn’t mean that good morning in Japanese can mean various things like Gandalf wondered when Bilbo said ‘Good morning’ in ‘The Hobbit’:  ’Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?’

It’s merely a greeting with formal and informal ways to say it.  It is important to remember not only how to speak formally and informally, but to know when to do so.

When you get up and see your family such as your kids/spouse/parents/siblings, you would say, “Ohayou.” Some parents who are very strict about seniority, or even the order of family members, may force their kids to say  “Ohayou gozaimasu” to them.

When you arrive at your office and see your boss, you must use, “Ohayou gozaimasu.” I’m scared to imagine what would happen if you use “Ohayou” or “Ohha~” to your boss… your neck may fly right after you say it.  Did any of you just tilt your head to the side in confusion wondering what that meant? 首が飛ぶ (kubi ga tobu), which literally means my neck flies, is a Japanese phrase meaning to be fired.

Then, what about your colleagues? They won’t be able to exert their authority to let your neck fly like your boss can, but you would speak formally to most of them, especially if they are older than you and/or they had started working there before you did. Many Japanese people think that colleagues who started working before you are all your superiors unless newer ones have the higher title.

Newer ones are called 後輩 (こうはい/kouhai) and older ones are called 先輩 (せんぱい/senpai). For a thorough explanation, check out our guide here. It’s “first come higher status” like “first come first serve”. To the ones you have developed close relationships with, you could drop the formalities and say “Ohayou”, but it may only be outside of office hours because some companies require you to be polite to any colleagues while working. The office is not the place to chat with your friends, but to work.

Now it’s getting more complicated, isn’t it? To simplify things, just keep in mind that newer members usually speak formally to older members, unless the newcomer has higher position in the company (I will say however, even though you may have a better title, it is good practice to speak formally to co-workers that were there before you just out of respect). When speaking to strangers, it is always a safe bet to use the more formal version.

When speaking to friends at school, you use “Ohayou” to all of your classmates but not “Ohha~”. It could sound too casual to someone who is not your close friend. Of course to teachers and to higher grade kids, you would use the formal “Ohayou Gozaimasu”. In school, lower grade kids are called 後輩 (こうはい/kouhai) and higher grade kids are called 先輩 (せんぱい/senpai).

Mistakes by Non-Native Speakers

“Get out of my house.”

Now, imagine that a teenage daughter brings her boyfriend home for supper. This boy comes into her home for the first time, approaches her father, and says, “Hey gramps, what’s up?” What would you think of his manners? It’s just as rude as when Anthony Weiner called Republican mayoral candidate George McDonald “grandpa”, isn’t it? If you were her father, and even though you may be be too nice of a person to throw him out of your house right away, you probably wouldn’t invite him back anymore, would you?

However, language mistakes made by non-native speakers usually aren’t as important as mistakes made my native speakers.  I remember the day when my Canadian boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband, met my mother for the first time at a Japanese restaurant. At that time, she was working at an elementary school taking care of a kid who was suspected of having severe ADHD (though his parents never agreed).

He was such a brat.

Whenever she said ‘good morning’ to him, he answered back with ‘f**k you’, ‘shut the f**k up, Grandma’ or something else in his long list of shocking replies.  He also punched and kicked her whenever he was in a particularly bad mood. Needless to say, my mother became so exhausted working there. So while we were at dinner, my husband tried to use Japanese to speak to my mother. His intention was to ask her about that little boy.

He began his sentence like this – “Anata no (your) mukatsuku (annoying/troublesome) kodomo (child)…”. He didn’t know how to say ‘made you upset’ in a polite way so used the word ‘mukatsuku’ instead, which among Japanese people is considered to be a somewhat rude word that is mostly used among friends.  The other problem with his attempt was that he never said ‘school’ or ‘student’, so it seemed as though he was referring to me.  I was the annoying/troublesome child.

My mother’s face was classic and my husband quickly realized that he should ask for my help.  After everything was explained, it was laughed off by everyone because he was Canadian.  If he was Japanese, it would have been a disaster.  Now it is simply a funny story that we still bring up from time to time, though my husband still cringes when he thinks back on his first meeting with my mother. He wishes that he knew how to speak formal Japanese at the time. He was very happy to get invited back.

Mistakes by Native Speakers

Being a native speaker, I get a special thrill every time I encounter a situation when I have to use formal Japanese. As you can see, it’s ridiculously complex even when you just say good morning. The Japanese language has many formal word forms and their use is mandatory in many social situations.

In keigo, there are three main categories: respectful language (尊敬語/sonkeigo), humble/modest language (謙譲語/kenjougo) and polite language (丁寧語/teineigo). Sometimes two more categories are also used, too: courteous language (丁重語/teichougo) and word beautification (美化語/bikago).

I won’t mention the details about any of them today, but it’s very difficult to use them properly in a perfect situation, even for Japanese people. So, when we start working after graduating school, companies usually offer training sessions on the proper use of formal Japanese and other business manners.

However, lacking some proper formalities is not a big problem as long as you are talking to someone in person. You can show your politeness with your face, the way you talk, or your behavior. So, I’d say the most difficult situation is chatting online or emailing when you can’t see their face or hear their voice.

Actually, I just encountered this problem recently when I sent a business message. It was a mass email so everyone read the exact same thing. Many of the recipients were just fine, but there were two people that got upset: one thought it was so vague because of the keigo and the other one thought it was unfriendly because it had too much keigo.

Later on, I did a little investigating which involved my correspondence and I found out that many of them liked its politeness. Honestly, I got bit confused and felt a little regret that my native language is one that requires these formalities.  I do understand its purpose, but it can be tough to please everyone.  On a more positive note, I was given a great lesson on how difficult it can be to walk the thin line of using formal Japanese.

A Controversy Over if Keigo is Necessary?

As you see, using keigo is very difficult, so if you’re someone who would like to avoid learning formal Japanese because you find it unnecessary, you wouldn’t be the only one. On 2-Channel, I came across a thread discussing the controversy over whether keigo is necessary, or not. Please let me introduce you to some opinions out of it.

1他人と人間関係を築くという事は大変煩わしい事だと思いますが、

「敬語」を上手く駆使しなければ円滑な社会生活を送れないという日本の文化によって、より一層人間関係が大変なものになっていると思うのです。

俺は敬語を多用する日本の言語文化が嫌いです。

皆さんはどう思われますか？

It’s difficult as it is already getting along with someone and trying to make friends, but what makes things even more complicated is that we aren’t able to speak freely to each other because we need to stick to the cultural formalities. I hate the Japanese culture, which forces us to use keigo. What do you guys think about this?

7敬語がある事によって人とのコミュニケーションおいてに求められる能力のハードルが すごく高くなっていると思うんです。

コミュ障と言われている方達が沢山いますが、もしも日本に今ほど敬語が存在しないのであれば彼らはコミュ障ではなかったもしれません。

I think keigo makes communication more difficult. There are a lot of people called コミュ障 (comyu-shou), which is an abbriveation of コミュニケーション障害 (communication shougai) meaning communication disabilities. If there weren’t as many forms of keigo in the language that there are, those people might not have been coined comyu-shou.

8下級生にタメ口使われてる

I’ve been spoken to by lower grade students with informal Japanese.

13距離を置けるからむしろハードル下がってる

It’s easier to communicate (for comyu-shou) because you can create more personal space by using keigo.

15敬語は楽でいいよね

上でも下でも同格でもとりあえず敬語喋っとけば問題ない!

I like keigo because it’s easier.

It wouldn’t cause problems when using keigo, regardless of whether you are talking to higher, or lower standing people.

25以前床屋でこんな事がありました。

新人の店員が俺にタメ口で話しかけてきたんです。

俺はこう思いました。

（俺の事なめてんのかこいつ）

俺は腹が立ちその店員の態度に不快感を感じたまま店を後にしました。

その店員は、親しみを込めてタメ口を使ったのかもしれません。

しかし、店では敬語を使われるという事に慣れている俺は、

それをフレンドリーさの表現とは受け取る事ができませんでした。

これは敬語が多用され浸透している国ならではの問題ではないでしょうか。

The following occurred in a hair salon just the other day.

A freshman started talking to me with casual Japanese.

I thought, “Is he looking down at me?”

I got upset and left the place with an unpleasant feeling.

He might have used casual Japanese trying to be friendly.

However, I’ve got used to hearing formal Japanese as a customer, so it really didn’t seem to be a friendly expression to me.

This problem only occurs in countries that use a lot of formalities, doesn’t it?

30 年上年下を気にする必要が無いのでいいと思います。

It’s good with me as long as I use keigo not only to older people but also to younger people.

35そうですね。

私もそう思います。

私はこう思うんです。

完全に敬語、もしくは、完全にタメ口、

どちらかに完全に統一すればいいと思うんです。

そうすれば言葉を使い分ける労力が無くなりますし、

敬語を使われなかったから腹が立つ、といった事も無くなります。

Yeah, I agree. I’d say, we should standardize our language and use strictly, either casual Japanese, or formal Japanese. If we could, we wouldn’t need to waste our energy choosing words and we wouldn’t be upset by being spoken to without keigo.

45敬語で話すの会議とタメ口で話すの会議はタメ口の方が意見バンバンでるんだとさ”

Did you know that more ideas come up in a meeting when people speak with casual Japanese in comparison to speaking with formal Japanese?

5敬語は現代には必要ない

Keigo is unnecessary these days.

These opinions are from 2-channelers who are known to have comyu-shou, so they might be slightly biased. Personally, I agree that it would be much easier to communicate with people if the Japanese language was standardized in either the formal or casual form, but it doesn’t seem like it will happen any time in the near future. So, for now, mastering the Japanese language must include mastering formal Japanese.

It’s very likely that the way the language is today is the very way that it should be and couldn’t work any other way.  Perhaps there are unseen disadvantages to having a language without keigo, or solely with keigo.  One thing is certain however, I really do like the following quote, but I’m sure this won’t mean the end to this discussion for many of you.

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untravelled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as “empty,” “meaningless,” or “dishonest,” and scorn to use them. No matter how “pure” their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

-Robert Heinlein

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The goal of this article is to help you to understand Japanese letters. It will take a little more research and studying to be able to write a letter in Japanese, but I think I’ll be covering the difficult part. After reading this article, I want you to understand things like the relationship between you and the person you’re writing to, the format of a Japanese letter (both vertical and horizontal), how to write the address on the envelope, as well as the concept of “set expressions.” This will give you the tools to write a letter, make things less confusing, and eventually get you to the point where you should be able to piece together a Japanese letter on your own (resources included in the last section of this article).

Let’s get straight into the first thing you must think about even before you pick up that pen and paper keyboard and monitor, relationships.

Relationships: AKA Who Are You Writing To?

In Japanese, hierarchy is much more important than in many other countries. You have the senpai-kohai relationship. Then you have teacher vs. student, boss vs. minion, older people vs. younger people, and the list goes on and on. On top of this, relationship statuses change when you’re asking for a request, but this (and many other things) will depend on how close you are to the other person. Relationships, your closeness, and where you stand in the hierarchy of said relationship dictate how you act and speak with that other person. Of course, this carries over to letters as well.

I am going to simplify it a bit for you though. In general, there’s going to be three types of letters. They are:

Informal: Friends, Senpai, People below you

Neutral: Teachers, Friends you are requesting something of, Superiors

Formal: People you don’t know, Superiors you are requesting something of

You may have noticed some patterns here. Informal relationships are people of a similar age, aka people who are on the same hierarchy level as you. Then, there’s neutral (which is really just regular-polite level) which has teachers and other superiors whom you have at least a moderately close relationship with, though friends that you are requesting something of get bumped up to this rung (because you have to be nice if you’re asking for something). Lastly, there’s formal, which includes people you don’t have a close relationship with (people you don’t know), as well as superiors that you’re asking something of. Asking something of someone automatically bumps them up to the next rung, as a rule of thumb.

Of course, as long as you stay in the Neutral or Formal levels, you’ll probably always be okay, so that’s what I’ll be sticking with in these articles as well. Informal is informal, and doesn’t really need to follow so many of the rules that I’ll be laying out here during this series.

The Materials

Now that you know who you’re writing to, it’s time to figure out what materials you need to use. I think a lot of this is just common sense, but just in case it isn’t, I’ve summarized and simplified a list provided by the (excellent) textbook, Writing Letters In Japanese.

• In general, white stationary without any pictures is most preferred.
• Business letters are usually written horizontally via a word processor.
• Personal letters to superiors should be written vertically on white stationary (hand written).
• For superiors, use a white envelope.
• Write in pen, using black or blue ink.
• Don’t write with pencils or markers.
• Postcards should only be used in informal occasions, or occasions in that call for postcards (like New Years).

Once you’ve figured out your materials (based on who you’re writing to), it’s time to learn how to use these materials. Sadly, not all of it is as simple as you might think. There are rules, Smokey!

Japanese Letter Formatting Rules

I will cover two types of letter: Vertical and Horizontal. This refers to how you’re writing your text. Does it go up to down or does it go right to left? Depending on which one you choose, there are a few differences you need to take note of.

Vertical Letters

These are the most personal. I suppose you’re putting a lot more work into this kind, because in general you’re writing them out by hand. Horizontal rule letters feel a little colder and less personal, though I think that’s changing. Usually, though, you can’t go wrong with a vertical letter, as it’s the standard style for letter writing in Japan.

As you can see there are various parts, and the positioning of each is important.

Opening: The opening word  consists of a set word, kind of like the word “Dear…” that goes at the beginning of English letters. In Japanese, this would be 拝啓 (はいけい) or 前略 (ぜんりゃく). These actually pair with the closing section, so be careful!

Set Expression #1: Right at the beginning of the letter there should be a set expression. This could be one of many predetermined topics or phrases, which are usually about weather, the season, health of the addressee, and so on and so forth. Certain topics will have certain opening set expressions as well, but we’ll go more into that later.

Content: This is where you actually write your letter and say the things you want to say. Notice how this is the only non-predetermined section out of so many? It’s weird.

Set Expression #2: After you finish saying what you want to say, it’s time for another set expression. This will usually be about the addressee’s health or good wishes for them.

Closing: This is like “sincerely…” in English letters. Unlike that, however, it is paired with the opening. 拝啓 goes with the closing greeting 敬具 (けいぐ). 前略 goes with the closing 草々 (そうそう). No mixing and matching.

Date: This is written a little lower than the text to its right. Use the Japanese numeral system for vertical letters.

Your Name: This is where you write your name. Put it down to the bottom of the column.

Addressee’s Name: This goes to the left of the date and your name, but higher than the date, and lower than all the text to the right.

PostScript (Optional): This is the P.S. portion of the letter. In Japanese, this is 追伸 (ついしん) or 二伸 (にしん), and is written to the left of the addressee’s name, lined up with the main text. This is a little informal, though, so don’t use it if you can help yourself.

As you can see, there’s a lot to consider even before you write any content. Luckily, horizontal letters are a lot simpler.

Horizontal Letters

Generally used in business sorts of situations, horizontal letters are mostly typed out and a lot simpler.

See? Much simpler.

Date: Goes in the top right. It’s written using Arabic numerals since it’s being written horizontally. １２月２５日, for example.

Addressee’s Name: This is where you put the name of the person you’re writing to. As with all letters, don’t forget their name honorific!

Set Expression #1: Here’s where the first set expression will go.

Content: This is where the content of your letter will go.

Set Expression #2: One more set expression for the addressee’s well being and health.

Your Name: This is where you sign your name, horizontally. Might be good to sign it with a pen instead of with the word processor, just to be a little more polite.

Horizontal letters are easier, but they can be considered rude if you send them in the wrong situations. Of course, email is a whole other thing (it’s all horizontal there), and I think it’s causing the mindset to shift a bit on this. Still, though, vertical is the default go-to for writing letters (especially by hand), so be sure learn about it even though this one is easier.

Envelopes And Addresses

The address system in Japan is quite different from America and much of the rest of the world. You’ll want to know about that before sending a letter, otherwise it may not get to the desired location (that being said, the Japanese postal system is baller). Once you know the address, though, there are some rules as to where you should be putting the mailing address, return address, and stamp.

Vertical Envelopes

This is the tall type envelope which you will often see in Japan. It’s good for vertically written letters, as you can crease your letter parallel to the lines you’re writing.

As you can see there are a few different things compared to the envelopes you might be used to. First off, you’ll want to put the postal code in boxes provided. Then, on the front of the envelope, you’ll want to put the address on the right side (written vertically) and the addressee’s name on the left, written in slightly bigger letters than the address to help differentiate. On the flap side of the envelope you should write the return address. Your name and address should go on the left side in the same format as the addressee’s name and address (though size isn’t going to matter as much), and your postal code should go in the boxes if they’re provided.

Horizontal Envelopes

With horizontal envelopes, there are a couple ways to do it.

1. You can turn the envelope sideways so it’s taller, and write the address in the same way you’d write it with a vertical envelope.
2. You can write things horizontally. Just like the vertical envelope, the addressee’s address goes on the front, with their address on top and their name written bigger below. If the boxes for the postal code are posted vertically, turn the envelope and write it in the direction they’re printed (horizontally). On the back of the envelope (flap side) you can put your address and name at the bottom.

A lot of the rules carry over from vertical envelopes, so this should be a little easier. So what about when you’re sending a letter to Japan?

Sending Letters To Japan From Overseas

When you are sending a letter to Japan from outside of Japan, you can write the address in romaji (though Japanese is preferred, if you can), and write it in the format that’s normally accepted in your country. Just be sure to write “JAPAN” at the bottom of the addressee’s address so they know to send it there!

Opening Set Expressions

This is perhaps the most difficult section of all when it comes to writing letters in Japanese. Luckily, these are set expressions, meaning you can just look them up, use them, and gone on with your life. The tricky part comes when you have to come up with some of your own (in certain specific situations), though we’re going to just ignore that for now.

The first set of set expressions is the one that comes before the start of your actual content. It generally has to do with weather, the season, or health of the addressee. There are expressions for each month, season, as well as different opening greetings for various inquisitions on the addressee’s health. Here are some examples, though there are many more set expressions worth knowing (or knowing where to find, which I’ll go over at the end).

January:

寒さひとしお身にしみる今日このごろ…
In this time of piercing cold…

新春とは申しながら、まだまだ寒さが続いておりますが…
While it is the New Year, the cold continues.

Spring:

春の日うららかな今日このごろ…
In this time of beautiful spring days…

日本はあたたかくなっているころでしょう…
I guess it must be getting warmer in Japan…

August:

厳しい残暑が続いておりますが…
The oppressive heat continues to linger…

December:

今年も押し迫りましたが…
This year is drawing to a close… (used after Dec 20)

Health Related:

いかがお過ごしていらしゃいますか？
How have you been?

私もおかげさまで元気にしております…
Fortunately I am doing well (thanks to your help)…

Writing A Reply To A Letter

お手紙ありがとうございました…
Thank you for your letter…

These set expressions are only a drop in the bucket. There are at least several set expressions for each month, season, and situation, and there are probably more out there. The thing about set expressions is you are expected to write with said set expressions, otherwise your letter isn’t going to come off as polite. While creativity is encouraged in Western letters, using some set expression rules is more important in Japanese, which makes things both harder and easier.

Closing Set Expressions

After your main content you have to go back into set expressions. There are fewer of these, but it’s still basically the same thing as the opening ones. Here are some examples:

Making A Request

どうかよろしくお願い致します。
Kindly look after this matter for me.

Give My regards

奥様に宜しくお願いします
Please give my regards to your wife.

Good Health

お寒さの折からお体をお大切に
Please take care of yourself since it’s cold.

Request A Reply

お返事を待ちしております
I look forward to your reply.

I think closing set expressions are a little simpler than the opening ones, but they’re all basically the same thing and you’ll see the same ones over and over a lot.

Where To Go From Here?

So as you can see, writing letters in Japanese is a big ordeal, though once you learn all the rules and do a little practice it’s not all that bad. In fact, it’s very set in stone, meaning that as long as you follow the rules you’ll be able to write a great letter in Japanese.

The next step, I think, is to take a look at examples. Writing letters in Japanese definitely takes an intermediate or advanced knowledge of the language, so if you possess said knowledge and want an English textbook, I’d recommend Writing Letters In Japanese. It contains plenty of example letters as well as lessons going over all of them to help you get your letter writing skills up to snuff. Alternatively, if you’re fairly advanced in Japanese, the Japanese website Midori-Japan’s 手紙の書き方 will do the trick. This site includes many example letters for many different and often specific situations as well as a list of set expressions that you can pull from. Basically, everything you need to template out a proper Japanese letter.

I hope this article and those sources help you to get started writing letters in Japanese! It’s a crazy letter writing world over there, but once you get your foot in the proverbial letter-writing door it become easier. I want to write more on this topic soon, including examples for plenty of different letter-writing situations, but we’ll see if it’s next week or a week in the future to come. Writing letters in Japanese is a huge topic, as I think everyone has come to understand so long as you’ve read to this point.

Sources:
Writing Letters In Japanese
About.Japanese.com
Japaneseteachers.net

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