母娘 (Mother-Daughter)
馬娘 (Horse-Daughter)
破家 (Broken-House)

If asked, “Who do you like that is stupid”? I’d guess many of you would answer, “Nobody.” However, things are quite different in Japan. It’s really pathetic, but there is a famous phrase in Japan: “女は馬鹿な方がいい“（おんなはばかなほうがいい/onnnawa bakana houga ii) and it means “Stupid women are better.” Sadly, you actually see this question online quite often:

“A stupid woman or a smart woman, which do you prefer?”

You don’t have to answer, don’t worry.

A Stupid Woman vs A Smart Woman

On January 16, 2013, Goo’s Oshiete Watcher conducted several interviews to try to answer this question. Of course there are people that come down on either side of the fence, those who prefer smart women and those who prefer stupid women. The reasons for men who prefer stupid women were things like:

“I prefer stupid women because I’m scared of smart women”

“When I think of my personality, I’m actually stupid, so I prefer a woman to be similar to me”

The men who prefer smart women said things like:

“I prefer smart women. If she was smart, then I can be stupid. If I do something stupid in front of a stupid woman, it will develop into a fight”

“I definitely prefer a smart woman who can pretend as if she is stupid to encourage me”

“I prefer women who are smart enough to be stupid and make hengao (funny faces), but if she is actually stupid, she wouldn’t know when to be stupid and where not to be. Thus, I prefer smart women.”

But wait a minute! What do they mean by “pretending to be stupid”? Although they say they like smart women, doesn’t it also mean that they like a woman who is stupid anyways?

The Stupid Boom!

In fact, a category of Japanese TV people called “obaka-talent” (stupid-talent) or “obaka-Chara” (stupid-character) has even been created. Those women act childish and pretend to be dumb in order to appear “cute”. They usually show up on quiz shows or other comedy related trivia shows and are asked to answer questions really stupidly in order to be laughed at. This phenomenon was called the “Obaka-talent-boom” (Stupid-talent-boom) and they have been very popular since around 2007.

Because of this “stupid woman” demand, one Japanese woman, ＠ya, who married British guy and lives in the UK, was surprised to learn that guys in the UK don’t really like stupid women.

In the UK, men select women very carefully and much of it has to do with the woman’s capabilities. For example, a guy who cares about his career tends to choose a woman who is similar to him. There are many men who don’t choose women solely on their looks, but rather on the complete balance of looks, income and ability, with the latter two holding more weight. Of course, women choose men very selectively, too. Women who are popular choices for many men are often very social and competent at their work. It would also be a big bonus to be both physically and mentally healthy. Conversely, women who tend to just smile and do not have any opinions are called “plain” and are not very popular. You’d be invincible in either scenario if you were a beautiful blonde with a gorgeous body, though.

A Japanese Male Doctor’s Perspective

So, do Japanese men seriously think that women should be stupid? As a woman, I’m personally against the idea and feel compelled to say that men must not think that way, even if it is just one facet of sexual attraction. I don’t understand why this is even a phrase, but I came across blogs written by a plastic surgeon, and in his blog he writes about why men say “stupid women are better” and why he himself actually often says “stupid women are cuter.”

He begins his blog by saying that he doesn’t believe that the abilities of women are of a lesser value than men’s and that he doesn’t look down on women in the slightest. He then continues on to the purpose of writing the blog and does so from his doctor’s perspective.

In Japan, the family roles for men and women are still obviously different: men work to feed their family and women take care of the house. The Japanese work system is actually created for men while the framework for women to continue working while raising a family is not yet provided. In countries like America, where people can “out-source” house workers from different countries, women who have higher education and income also have a higher marriage rate. However, in Japan, even though women graduate from elite universities and start working for very reputable companies, there won’t be a position to return to, nor would they be able to resume their careers at the same level if they quit their jobs following marriage or give birth. Thus, if a woman winds up being a housewife despite her efforts, people conclude that being a stupid, yet cute, woman is better than being a smart woman. I’m pretty sure that if the system was altered, smart women would be more popular among men than stupid women because it’s already happening in the world of medical practice. We earn enough income to hire domestic workers, so wives don’t need to become a housewife and simply continue working. So, male doctors tend to marry female doctors or other such smart women of respectable professions, rather than choosing to marry a stupid women who is also cute.

I think he explains himself very well, thought I’m still not convinced. Let’s look a little deeper into what he’s saying, though.

Job Environment

Although many companies have been trying to change, there are still companies whose system is not good for working women. I worked for the biggest stock and investment exchange company in Japan and held a position that required me to work wherever the company ask me to. There are local positions, but in order to get a higher position, such as a branch manager or area manger, you have to hold a position in which being transferred is possible. I know many Japanese companies have a similar system and the IT company I worked for did this too. Anyways, my point is that it is so tough for women to continue working in the same career after starting a family if the system is like that.

I had a married female superior, who had the same position as I did when she got pregnant. Shortly after finding out that she was pregnant, the company ordered her to transfer from Kyoto to Tokyo, even though she and her husband lived in Osaka. So, until she went on maternity leave, she had to work in Tokyo, thus living separately from her husband. After her maternity leave finished, she had to move back to Tokyo with her baby but without her husband, all too keep her career. Transferring can be quite cruel, but from a company’s perspective it’s fair and equal because that’s how men work in the company. So, I agree that to continue working after marriage or giving birth can be very tough for women.

So, does this mean the reason for the phrase “Stupid Women Are Better” is because Japanese society has generally accepted that work environments are not yet fully developed to accommodate women? So is the solution then to continuously fight for women’s rights, including that of providing some allowances for returning to work after giving birth, and slowly progressing towards a better society for women, one in which they can work wherever and whenever they want? Well, it might surprise you to learn that this may not be what many Japanese women desire.

Japanese Wife = Housewife?

According to an official survey conducted by Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, which quizzed over 3,000 people aged 15-39 in March, 2013, 19.3% of Japanese men still prefer the woman they are with to become a housewife after getting married. I believe that the above mentioned work environment is one of the reasons why men want to keep their wives in house, otherwise there’s the possibility of not seeing her very often. You know, many Japanese men’s priority is work, but if a women pursues their careers, it means they have to make work a priority as well.

Surprisingly, it’s not every man’s ideal and a great many women also think this way. According to the same research, 1 in 3 single women in Japan want to be a full-time housewife, despite the growing demand for their participation in the male-dominated Japanese workforce.

I hope you noticed something interesting here. From that survey, more women wanted to become housewives than men who wanted their wives to become housewives. That means women want to be housewives on their own, much of the time. Why is that?

The Reasons Why Women Want To Be Housewives

So, why do women want to be housewives? According to another research study conducted by U-Can and I-Share where over 1,243 women were quizzed from July 16-20, 2010, 53.9% of women said they wanted to be a housewife.

55.2% of them said it was “because I want to attend to housework and raising children.”

25.5% said they wanted to focus on their hobbies.

15% said it was because they don’t like working.

Even though the women feel this way, 68% of women who wanted to become a housewife said that it’s difficult to become a housewife nowadays because of their family’s financial responsibilities. In fact, there are more and more wives who unwillingly continue to work because they need the money. 85% of them answered that they would find a job if their husband asked them to (because there is no other option) and 42.7% said they would choose a part time job (an arubaito) so that they could have some flexibility with their time and location and therefore be able to stay closer to home. Sort of the best(ish) of both worlds.

It’s A Stereotype, But Still Alive

So, regardless of whether they have to continue working or not, being a housewife and wanting your wife to be a housewife is often a mutual desire of both Japanese men and women. Therefore, when a Japanese person dates someone from another country, there can be some differences in thought. Take the following Japanese man’s comments, for example.

My girlfriend is Irish-Scottish. I’ve lived with her for half a year now and I don’t find many differences between her and Japanese girls. If there was one thing that I would highlight, it would be that she may have different ideas about work than a Japanese girl. She says she doesn’t understand having to quit her job just because she gets married. (source: 彼氏彼女が外国人)

Now, if the work environment is not the only reason, was it just men’s preference after all, then? According to Rocket News24′s The top 10 things foreign women hate about Japanese men, “Acting like they are better than women” was ranked number 8. Sometimes it’s fun to be a little stupid at parties or other such events, but it’s not fun at all to be called “stupid” all the time.

As for me, I’m not sure if I am smart because I do and say a lot of stupid stuff, but I don’t ever want to pretend as if I am stupid for the sake of men. If I am stupid or do stupid things, I want it to be for good reasons, like making my friends laugh – with me, not at me.

Actually, writing about this topic reminded me of my ex-boyfriend who didn’t like me giving him any advice. For example, when he complained about his superior, he just wanted me to smile and be sympathetic. At the time, we were both working for the same company, so I told him what I thought after he told me his complaint and it turned out to be the end of our relationship. He told me that an opinionated girl was not his type, so I guess he was one of those guys that like “obaka-character” girls. I considered his way of thinking to be rather appropriate for this article, STUPID! へへへへ。

1. Don’t Bring a Gift

The first situation you’ll run into at a Japanese house is entering the residence and meeting the family who has been so kind as to take you in for a while in this strange new country. Should you bring them a gift? No way! Simply by being there, you are providing them with the best gift at all – your baka gaijinity. There is no way they’d be offended that you didn’t adhere to the custom of bringing a small gift such as alcohol, chocolate, or a souvenir from your home country when visiting a house in Japan. They should be giving you a gift for gracing them with your presence.

This is a surefire way to let your homestay family know right off the bat that you have no idea what’s going on. Not bringing a small gift to show your thanks for them putting up with your baka gaijinity for however long you are there is a pretty lousy thing to do. But if you want to lull them into a false sense of security with your manners, you should definitely provide them with a small gift of gratitude before you surprise them all with our next tip.

2. Wear Your Dirty Shoes in the House

Immediately after presenting your gift (or not) you should romp right into the house with your wet and muddy shoes. Japanese people love to clean and they will be delighted to know that you were so excited to see the rest of their beautiful home (which they just recently cleaned for your arrival) that you just could not spare the time to take off your filthy shoes. By the time one of the children hints at you that wearing your shoes inside is a no-no, you’ve already covered a good portion of the house in your baka gaijin filth. Well done.

Pretty much never do Japanese people wear shoes inside their homes. It’s usually slippers (more on that later), or socks in the home, so wearing your outdoor shoes inside a residence is a great way to show off how baka you are. Usually homes will have house slippers for themselves as well as their guests right near the entryway where you didn’t take off your shoes, you silly gaijin, you.

3. Wear the Bathroom Slippers Around the House

So you finally took off your dirty shoes and you realize that you haven’t gone to the bathroom since you arrived in this strange new country. You ask where the bathroom is and you rush right in. Upon arrival, you notice that there are a pair of slippers in here. How convenient! You just learned about these earlier. So you slip on the slippers, do your business, and prance right out of there like royalty, still in the slippers. You know, the slippers that are only meant to be worn while in the bathroom because, you know, people pee in there.

You may find yourself asking how much more complicated can household footwear get? Well after you see the horrified faces of your homestay family when they realize you’re wearing the toilet slippers around the house after they just cleaned the floors from your earlier incident, you’ll know just about all you need to know concerning footwear etiquette in the house. Maybe next time you should just leave the bathroom slippers where they belong, okay?

4. Get Extra Comfy Around the Dinner Table

By this time you’re probably pretty hungry. And probably pretty sick of everything that has to do with feet and the things that go over them. It’s time for dinner and you sit yourself down on the floor by the dinner table. Even though everyone else is sitting seiza or Indian style, you decide to show everyone your endless capacity for baka gaijin-ness and sit all sprawled out with your legs stretching under the table and your feet pointing at and sometimes touching the members of the family. Why try to conform now when you’re already so far down the path of baka gaijinity?

By this point you’ve probably realized that a great thing to do in unfamiliar situations is just to do what everyone else is doing. Follow the social convention. The best way to be a baka gaijin is to just do your own thing and totally ignore anything you think might be customary in this new land. Pointing feet at people and especially touching other folks with your feet is pretty darn rude. Oops.

5. Hog the Bathtub Because You are a King (or Queen)

Dinner is over and sleepy-time is fast approaching. What do? Take a bath of course! The family graciously offers to draw a bath for you and allow you to be the first one to take a bath that evening. Show them what a baka gaijin you are by not even thinking about allowing one of them to take the first bath – no one deserves it as much as you do! Remember, you are a gift to this family. Once you get into the bathroom, be sure not to wash yourself off before getting in the bath, you’re clean enough already. Time to take a nice long soak in the tub. Afterwards, be sure to pull the plug and drain the water. It’s not like there’s a whole family of people planning to take a bath after you, right?

Okay, so usually families will use the same bathwater for everyone’s bath since they will usually wash themselves off first in a shower separate from the tub. That way when they get into the tub, they are already clean and they don’t dirty the tub water with their human filth. So in a way, your draining the tub kind of saved the family from bathing in your filth and experiencing the wrath of your baka gaijinity. Well, half of your baka gaijinity anyway.

Su Casa es Mi Casa Baka

By performing all of these acts you will have made it very, very clear to the family what a baka gaijin you are. Especially if you manage to pull all of them off in the same day (impressive!) So next time you are in Japan, remember how to act on a train, but also remember how you should act once you get to your destination as well. Make every house your own personal baka house**

So now you know how to be a baka on trains, and also how to be a baka while in a Japanese house. Have you ever accidentally made any of these mistakes while in Japan? Tell us your story in the comments! (Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.)

Also, if you want a more straightforward post about how to behave in Japanese households, it’s laid out pretty plainly in this post from VipJapan.

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**Please realize that this post is mostly satire and is supposed to be funny. I am aware that gaijin are not the only ones who perform the faux pas in this series of baka gaijin posts. They are just meant to draw attention to some mistakes people might make while in Japan in a humorous manner.
Hugs and kisses <3 J

Don’t let anyone get you down or tell you otherwise because armed with these tips you’ll be the most baka gaijin Japanese railways have ever seen. Feel free to print them out and take them with you next time you visit Japan. They’ll come in handy, I’m sure.

1. Miss the Last Train

How much more baka can you get than not even getting to board the train in the first place? Many of the most prestigious baka gaijin believe that trains in Japan run 24/7 when in fact, they do not. Many train lines stop running around midnight or 1am. Missing the last train is a great way to show your baka gaijin prowess and all of your friends will be very impressed.

However, if you do end up missing the train (you silly baka gaijin, you) there are a few options. The first and less desirable option is taking a taxi which will most likely end up costing you quite a bit depending on how far you have to travel. Another option is to hang out at an internet cafe and crash there for the night. They’re relatively cheap, have entertainment as well as food and drinks, and quite a few offer amenities such as showers and laundry machines. Not bad, eh?

2. Get Belligerent

If you do make it to the train in time, it’s important to be as violent as possible to show Japan how dominant you are. If you happen to be visiting Tokyo, or another busy area of Japan, chances are it’ll be pretty congested when you get to boarding your train. This is a prime opportunity to take the baka gaijin approach of shoving Japanese women and children to the ground as you make your way to the train (like a man), grumbling and shouting all the way.

Another approach to this is to realize that the congestion is nobody’s fault and it just comes with the territory. Pushing Japanese people into the concrete might not be the best option after all. Perhaps it would be wiser to just be as courteous as possible, try not to elbow anyone in the face, and just look forward to getting off the crowded train and into some fresh air again.

3. Bring Too Much Luggage

Another surefire way to piss people off (including yourself) is to bring too much luggage onto the train. If you just flew into Japan and are all ready to get to your hotel, the best way to make everyone’s day worse is to bring all that luggage onto the train with you. You’ll get in everyone’s way, take up too much room on the train, and if you’re lucky, you might even lose a piece of luggage in the chaos. Baka gaijinity at its finest.

However, if you just can’t handle being this big of a pain in people’s rears, there are other options. If you have lots of luggage, you can always grab a taxi or make use of Japan’s awesome takkyubin services. As I mentioned before, taxis can get kind of expensive, so takkyubin become a much more attractive option. It’s what I used when I was in Japan and it was just fabulous. Takkyubin services will take your luggage from you at the airport and then deliver them to your lodgings either later that same day or some time the next. They’re like, super convenient.

4. Talk on the Phone

Okay, so you’ve boarded the train without cracking any skulls, you decided to leave your luggage in the capable hands of the takkyubin kittens, so now what can you do to exert your baka gaijinity? You talk on your phone. Loudly. On the train, you’ll be likely to see most natives using their phones to communicate by means of text. What fools! Why text when you can blather on about how all your other baka gaijin friends are writing their names in kanji? I mean, the natives probably want to hear your side of the conversation anyway, right? You are very handsome and charming, after all.

Or you could just text if you’re not baka gaijin enough. I mean, not everyone has the conviction to be the best baka gaijin they can be. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Just disappointed.

5. Board the “Women Only” Car

If none of these other options are doing it for you, the sneakiest way to be a baka gaijin on Japanese trains (if you’re a man) is to get onto the “women only” car. Most of the time these cars are only labeled as such between certain hours of the day so make sure you board it at the most awkward and inconvenient time as possible. No one will question your manliness (or your baka gaijin-ness) ever again. Trust me.

This one is actually pretty hard to pull off since most people will let you know that you’re in line for the women’s only car before you get to board it. The best way to avoid boarding the women’s only car is to pay attention to the signs since most of the time they’ll have a short explanation of the cars in English along with the Japanese. The reason these cars exist is so women can feel safe from gropers on the trains. And remember, kids, groping is a no-no.

Be Proud. Be Baka. Be Gaijin.

And there you have it. Pretty much all you’ll ever need to know about how to act in, on, or around Japanese trains. So next time you’re in Japan, whether it be your first time or your fifty-first time, be all that you can be. Be the best damn baka gaijin this side of The Great Wall of China.** Make me proud.

So tell me, have you ever seen anyone make these faux pas in Japan before? Ever made them yourself? Leave us a story down in the comments!

**Tofugu does not advocate purposefully being a baka gaijin in Japan on a train or otherwise. Please realize that this article was written in good humor. Thank you and have a kawaii day.