It’s been a little while since the last Baka Gaijin post, but today I’d like to explore the world of Japanese tea ceremonies. For such a simple little ceremony, they can be pretty intimidating and a bit confusing to the uninitiated. Fortunately for you, though, we’ll be learning about some common mistakes and things to avoid in order to prevent yourself from looking like a baka gaijin. So let’s get to it – what does it take to be a baka gaijin at a Japanese tea ceremony?

1. Don’t Wash Up

Sure, there’s an area outside designated for guests to wash their hands and rinse out their mouths with water to clean up and cleanse their palates, but you came here to drink tea, not water. Besides, you already washed your hands earlier today, right? Not like you touched anything that might’ve been dirty on your way here. And besides, the people you’ll be sharing the tea with have no idea how dirty or clean your hands are. Their health is their own problem, not yours.

So if you’re presented with a basin of some sort to cleanse yourself with, just remember this handy phrase: “Baka gaijin da kara, iranai yo,” (バカ外人だから要らないよ). This means, “Please kind sir or madam, I’m a baka gaijin so that’s not necessary, oh ho ho…” This phrase can apply to many different situations, so feel free to use it as you see fit. Your new Japanese friends will be equally impressed with your command of the Japanese language as they are with your impeccable baka gaijinity.

2. Make Yourself Comfy

Upon entering the tea ceremony area, you might see others sitting down seiza style, or perhaps even Indian style. These sitting methods are for babies, so don’t follow their lead. You’re a big, strong, and adult-like baka gaijin, so you need to sit down with purpose. That being said, you’ll want to make sure you sit down sprawled out, taking up as much room as possible, and have your bare feet pointing in the direction of others because, as you might recall from How to be a Baka Gaijin (in the House), sitting like this is a particularly baka gaijin thing to do in any sort of polite setting such as this.

Do you know how long Japanese tea ceremonies last? Way longer than they need to, in your opinion. You just want to eat some snacks, drink some tea, and be on your merry little baka gaijin way. Unfortunately, these tea ceremonies can last up to four hours which is way, way too long for anyone to sit properly and politely for. Might as well just start off sitting comfortably and stay that way instead of putting yourself through all that pain and agony of sitting in seiza the whole time.

3. Gobble Down the Sweets as Soon as They’re Presented

While the tea wizards are doing their magic with the preparation, they’ll present their guests with some sweets to snack on. You should gobble these down as soon as they’re presented instead of waiting politely for them to start making the tea and warming the water and all that other tea magic that you don’t quite understand. You’re a baka gaijin and you have needs. Needs for sweets and no time for waiting. So be sure to gobble them down as soon as possible. It’ll be a good way to subtly hint at the hosts that you don’t really want to be there and they should just hurry up the entire process. Might as well eat everyone else’s sweets while you’re at it.

I’ve only been to one tea ceremony in Japan, but the sweet snack part was just about where things started to get confusing. We got little bean paste cakes or something along those lines and a toothpick. We saw some others using the toothpick device to cut up the sweet and eat very small bites that way so we all followed suit, despite it being very difficult. Later we were told that was a bit overkill, but nobody really told us how to go about doing things. Bottom line here is either have a Japanese person explain what to do beforehand or just follow what everyone else is doing and hope they know more than you do.

4. Guzzle that Tea Like There’s No Tomorrow

Finally. It’s tea time. The moment you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been sitting down for far too long and those sweets were too difficult to eat and not nearly filling enough for your baka gaijin belly. The time for tea has arrived. When it is your turn to drink the tea, you’ll want to be sure to not bow to anyone or thank them – again, you don’t have time for stuff like that.

You might see some other people doing wacky stuff like picking up the tea, putting it in the palm of their hand, rotating it, sipping the tea, and then wiping the brim before setting it down. That’s too much effort. The tea’s going to taste just the same regardless of what fancy maneuvers you do before drinking it, so why waste time? Just gulp it down as soon as you’re able.

The tea is usually pretty bitter (to balance the sweet sweets, you know – yin and yang and all that jazz) so if you don’t like the taste, make sure to twist your face into the most disgusted mug you can muster. This will let everyone know how you felt about the tea. If you’re lucky, after the ceremony they might even ask you to be a judge on the next episode of Iron Chef.

5. Stumble Out of the Room and Fall Over

Before we told you to sit down however you please. Maybe that’s not your style. Maybe you want to show everyone else how strong you are and how you can handle sitting in seiza for hours upon end and not have your legs atrophy beneath you. If you choose this route, you’ll want to make sure to get up as quickly as possible when the ceremony is over. This way you’ll be sure to come to a standing position well before you realize that one (or both) of your legs has fallen asleep without you realizing. Now you’ll be able to stumble about awkwardly, and perhaps take someone else down with you as you crash to the floor.

It’s not too often that I sit in seiza for a really long time, but I did at the tea ceremony I went to in Japan. I didn’t notice that one of my legs had fallen asleep, so when it was time to get up and go, I was a little wobbly. To avoid murdering everyone in the room, you’ll want to make sure all of your limbs are fully functional before arising from the mat. Otherwise, people will die. Just be careful about it and get yourself up slowly.

Mmm… Baka Gaijini-tea

At such a formal ceremony as this, it’s pretty easy to make a baka gaijin out of yourself. From not washing up prior to falling down and making a fool out of yourself post, there’s plenty of baka gaijin things to do at a Japanese tea ceremony. So, armed with this knowledge, you are now prepared to take on the wonderful world of Japanese tea. Show them what it means to be a true baka gaijin**

But in all seriousness, Japanese tea ceremonies are survivable and can be a very enjoyable experience. One thing I do recommend though, is definitely asking a Japanese person to actually show you how to do everything properly. I’ve even been to one before and I still forget some of the stuff you’re supposed to do. Luckily, the people putting on the show weren’t expecting much from us gaijin, so we didn’t embarrass ourselves too much.

And if you want to read more about Japanese tea ceremonies and such, please feel free to check out the links below.

Etiquette for Guests from JapaneseTeaCeremony.net
Japanese Tea Ceremony from ChinaTownConnection.com
How to Conduct a Japanese Tea Ceremony from eHow.com

So tell me, have you ever been to a Japanese tea ceremony before? What was it like? Did you see anyone messing up the procedures or making a fool of themselves? Share in the comments!

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**Please realize that this post is mostly satire and is supposed to be funny. I am aware that gaijin are not the only ones who perform the faux pas in this series of baka gaijin posts. They are just meant to draw attention to some mistakes people might make while in Japan in a humorous manner.
Hugs and kisses <3 J

1. Wear a Bathing Suit

At all public bathhouses in Japan, you get a small towel and that’s it. No big towel to wrap yourself in, no board shorts, no polka dot bikini, no nothing. Japanese people enjoy these warm baths the same way they came into this world: butt naked. Shall you follow suit? Hell no! You’re a baka gaijin and you have the right to wear whatever you want, when you want. They call them private parts for a reason – they’re private. So wear your brightly colored swim wear and completely disregard the fact that it’s not allowed. You’re a proud baka gaijin, they’ll understand.

How embarrassing~!

People bathe naked at public bathhouses in Japan. That’s just how it is. You can use that little towel they give you to try and cover up, but they can only cover so much. So you can either make the decision to get over your embarrassment with naked bodies, break the rules and get mean-mugged by everyone there, or just not go to a sento at all. It’s your choice.

2. Enter the Wrong Bath for Your Gender

So you’ve decided to ditch the bathing suit (how brave of you), and are now ready to enter the bathing area. What’s this? There are two different ways to go? No one told us about this. Might as well just waltz right into one of them like a man and hope for the best, right? You’re a baka gaijin and people expect these things. The door on the left it is. Oh, oops – it’s a bunch of naked grannies and now they’re throwing their dentures at you.

Just like bathrooms in Japan, it is important to know how to distinguish the female entrance from the male entrance. There won’t always be a little picture of a man/woman or English writing on the doors, so it’s always a good idea to know what the Japanese characters for man (男) and woman (女) look like.

3. Don’t Shower and Just go Straight into the Bath With Your Towel

Now that it’s finally time to enter the bath, you see a row of people washing themselves off with little showers. But you didn’t come here to take a shower, you came here to take a bath. So you take your little towel and cover your body as best you can with it while you scurry over to the baths. And since being under the water isn’t enough privacy for you, you dunk your little towel in the water as well to drape over your privates. Ahh, relaxing.

Sound advice, kids.

Like I mentioned in How to be a Baka Gaijin in the House, when taking a bath in Japan, you’re supposed to shower first so that you don’t dirty the bath water with your human filth. So, by skipping the showers beforehand, you’ve introduced a lot of grime into the baths for everyone else to get on themselves. Well done. You’re also not supposed to take the towel in with you either. You’re supposed to leave it by the side of the baths or drape it over your head if you’re hoopy and froody enough. But what do you know? You’re just a baka gaijin after all.

4. Engage in Horseplay then Pee in the Water

All this bathing in relaxation nonsense is getting way too boring for you. You’ve had just about enough of this placid and calm junk. These public baths need some real entertainment. So you start playing music on your cell phone, playing catch with your best friend Phil across the bath, and yelling at your girlfriend Michele on the other side of the wall to see if she can hear you over there (she can’t). And then you just get so excited with it all that you pee in the water. Hey, people do it in pools all the time and the water is already warm in here anyway. Who’s gonna notice?

What makes you think I peed in the water?

Everyone. Everyone will notice. The water in most all Japanese public baths contains a special chemical that turns the water and your body bright purple if it mixes with urine. As such, this baka gaijin act easily takes the cake for the most baka gaijin thing you can do while at a sento. These bathhouses are meant to be a place for people to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life in Japan. People are quiet and respectful of everyone else in there. It’s basically like a library with water. And nudity. And no books.

5. Rinse Yourself Off With Tap Water

Alright so you survived the bath. Good job. Regardless of whether or not you made the choice to clean yourself off before you got into the bath, you decide to shower and wipe yourself down before you leave. It’s not like you know that the minerals in hot spring water used in sento are often beneficial, and washing them off will stop them from taking full effect. Who needs health benefits? Not you, that’s who. Baka gaijin are resilient and strong.

Being Naked Makes Me Uncomfortable and Stupid

Yes, being naked can make people shy, embarrassed, or uncomfortable and more likely to follow the conventions of a traditional Japanese bathhouse. But no, not you. You’re a baka gaijin and you brought a swimsuit, dove right into the bath, yelled at your friends, and peed in the water. Baka gaijin to the max.

You got yourself (and your friends) kicked out, your body is stained purple, and you have a great story to tell everyone back home about how you totally owned those silly naked Japanese people and you’d gladly do it again given the opportunity. Well said**

Oh, and for those of you who want a more straightforward approach to the ins and outs of public baths in Japan…

Japanese Bathing Etiquette by JapaneseGuestHouses.com
Bathing Etiquette by SentoGuide.com

So tell me, have you ever had the opportunity to go to a public bath in Japan? I haven’t unfortunately, but I know some people that have. Ever seen anyone make some of these baka gaijin errors? Ever made any of them yourself? Let us know in the comments!

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**Please realize that this post is mostly satire and is supposed to be funny. I am aware that gaijin are not the only ones who perform the faux pas in this series of baka gaijin posts. They are just meant to draw attention to some mistakes people might make while in Japan in a humorous manner.
Hugs and kisses <3 J

1. Use Your Chopsticks Improperly Or, Better Yet, Don’t Even Try to Use Them at All

So you survived your train ride and now you’re looking for some grub. You find a nearby restaurant and plop your gaijin keister down at the nearest table. Before you know it, your food has arrived! (For the sake of performance, lets assume you’re with a few of your Japanese friends.) You break open your chopsticks and rub them together vigorously to show that you believe the chopsticks (as well as the establishment) are cheap.

Since you’re a baka gaijin, you never learned how to use chopsticks properly and you just start awkwardly spearing your food with the ends of the chopsticks. As long as the food makes its way to your mouth it’s all good, right? But before you know it, your hand starts cramping up and you need to throw in the towel and just ask for a fork and knife. Who uses chopsticks anyway, amirite?

Not even attempting to use chopsticks properly is always a good way to show Japanese people that you don’t really care about enveloping yourself in the culture. But hey, at least you actually used them for a little bit, right?

2. Or, Do Everything You Can to Insult People With Your Chopsticks

Okay, so maybe you didn’t give up on the chopsticks but instead decided to tough it out for the whole meal. Good for you. Now we have lots more opportunities to offend everyone. You’re gonna wanna make sure you point at people with your chopsticks when you’re talking to them, move your plates around with your chopsticks, and wave them about in the air like you’ve never seen two sticks before in your life.

And then when you’re done with your chopsticks you can just stick them straight up in your rice. I mean, hey, you don’t know that this is something that’s only done as funeral offerings, I’m sure your friends will forgive you eventually.

As you can tell, there are plenty, and I mean plenty of things you can do with your chopsticks to show everyone around you how baka and how gaijin you be. Just by following steps one and two here I highly doubt anyone will question your baka gaijin-ness as far as eating goes. But just in case, I’ve added some more tips below.

3. Be Sure to Eat Like a Barbarian

You’re a gaijin. Gaijin are always hungry. You need to get that food in your mouth and you need to get it there now. This is no time for manners. So make sure you take food from the community plates and bowls with the ends of the chopsticks you’ve already had stuck in your slobbery gaijin mouth. Japanese people don’t believe in germs. It’s against their religion.

And when you want to cut your food with your chopsticks, you might as well not even bother and just spear that slab of meat and eat the darn thing whole. No point in using finesse and dexterity to masterfully pull it apart using the controlled force of your chopsticks. I mean, the food all ends up in the same place anyway.

This step just kind of boils down to table manners in general, but some gaijin can get thrown off by chopsticks and they can sometimes forget how to live their lives like humans. If you really don’t feel like you can handle being polite with chopsticks, might as well throw in the towel and just use silverware. No one will think you’re a lazy gaijin who believes they’re too good to experience things in another culture. No worries.

4. Get Super Wasted and Embarrass Everyone

Since we’ve discussed a lot of ways you can promote your baka gaijinity with food, lets move onto the drinks. As with the last step, this one is kind of just common sense in all cultures, but for some reason gaijin do on occasion believe that travelling to a new country is a free pass to get super wasted in public for no raisin. I’ve seen it happen.

So you’re with your friends and they all want to see how much the big burly gaijin can handle so you drink way too much and start being noisy and falling out of your seat and just making a big ruckus. Your friends have had a bit to drink too but at least they have the decency to keep their shirts on and not try to ask the waitress out on a date. She doesn’t even understand English. Leave her alone, will ya?

Most of the time I feel that gaijin will be able to save themselves from drinking too much except when it comes to nomihoudai (all you can drink). A popular concept in Japan is paying a flat fee for a certain amount of time and just being able to drink all you want in that time period. This is a very, very dangerous thing. Many people will take this opportunity to just drink way more than they would normally. I mean, you gotta get your money’s worth, right?

Remember, Manners Don’t Exist Outside Your Home Country

The best way to show people what a baka gaijin you are around the dinner table is just to pretend like using chopsticks and having to deal with all you can drink establishments is too much for your baka brain to handle and you just forget how to eat and drink like a civilized human. So get out there and spear your food, drink your many drinks, and show everyone how being in a new country makes you forget that table manners are a thing**

And for those of you who want a more cut and dry explanation of table manners in Japan…

Japanese Table Manners from Japan-Guide.com
Japanese Chopsticks How-To from Japan-Guide.com
How to Drink in Japan from me. You’re welcome :)

So tell me, have you or anyone else really embarrassed themselves at the dinner table in Japan? I haven’t seen anyone do it really bad at dinner, but one time at all-you-can-drink-karaoke, one of our friends had way way too much to drink. It was messy. Nomihoudai is a scary thing.

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**Please realize that this post is mostly satire and is supposed to be funny. I am aware that gaijin are not the only ones who perform the faux pas in this series of baka gaijin posts. They are just meant to draw attention to some mistakes people might make while in Japan in a humorous manner.
Hugs and kisses <3 J

1. Don’t Bring a Gift

The first situation you’ll run into at a Japanese house is entering the residence and meeting the family who has been so kind as to take you in for a while in this strange new country. Should you bring them a gift? No way! Simply by being there, you are providing them with the best gift at all – your baka gaijinity. There is no way they’d be offended that you didn’t adhere to the custom of bringing a small gift such as alcohol, chocolate, or a souvenir from your home country when visiting a house in Japan. They should be giving you a gift for gracing them with your presence.

This is a surefire way to let your homestay family know right off the bat that you have no idea what’s going on. Not bringing a small gift to show your thanks for them putting up with your baka gaijinity for however long you are there is a pretty lousy thing to do. But if you want to lull them into a false sense of security with your manners, you should definitely provide them with a small gift of gratitude before you surprise them all with our next tip.

2. Wear Your Dirty Shoes in the House

Immediately after presenting your gift (or not) you should romp right into the house with your wet and muddy shoes. Japanese people love to clean and they will be delighted to know that you were so excited to see the rest of their beautiful home (which they just recently cleaned for your arrival) that you just could not spare the time to take off your filthy shoes. By the time one of the children hints at you that wearing your shoes inside is a no-no, you’ve already covered a good portion of the house in your baka gaijin filth. Well done.

Pretty much never do Japanese people wear shoes inside their homes. It’s usually slippers (more on that later), or socks in the home, so wearing your outdoor shoes inside a residence is a great way to show off how baka you are. Usually homes will have house slippers for themselves as well as their guests right near the entryway where you didn’t take off your shoes, you silly gaijin, you.

3. Wear the Bathroom Slippers Around the House

So you finally took off your dirty shoes and you realize that you haven’t gone to the bathroom since you arrived in this strange new country. You ask where the bathroom is and you rush right in. Upon arrival, you notice that there are a pair of slippers in here. How convenient! You just learned about these earlier. So you slip on the slippers, do your business, and prance right out of there like royalty, still in the slippers. You know, the slippers that are only meant to be worn while in the bathroom because, you know, people pee in there.

You may find yourself asking how much more complicated can household footwear get? Well after you see the horrified faces of your homestay family when they realize you’re wearing the toilet slippers around the house after they just cleaned the floors from your earlier incident, you’ll know just about all you need to know concerning footwear etiquette in the house. Maybe next time you should just leave the bathroom slippers where they belong, okay?

4. Get Extra Comfy Around the Dinner Table

By this time you’re probably pretty hungry. And probably pretty sick of everything that has to do with feet and the things that go over them. It’s time for dinner and you sit yourself down on the floor by the dinner table. Even though everyone else is sitting seiza or Indian style, you decide to show everyone your endless capacity for baka gaijin-ness and sit all sprawled out with your legs stretching under the table and your feet pointing at and sometimes touching the members of the family. Why try to conform now when you’re already so far down the path of baka gaijinity?

By this point you’ve probably realized that a great thing to do in unfamiliar situations is just to do what everyone else is doing. Follow the social convention. The best way to be a baka gaijin is to just do your own thing and totally ignore anything you think might be customary in this new land. Pointing feet at people and especially touching other folks with your feet is pretty darn rude. Oops.

5. Hog the Bathtub Because You are a King (or Queen)

Dinner is over and sleepy-time is fast approaching. What do? Take a bath of course! The family graciously offers to draw a bath for you and allow you to be the first one to take a bath that evening. Show them what a baka gaijin you are by not even thinking about allowing one of them to take the first bath – no one deserves it as much as you do! Remember, you are a gift to this family. Once you get into the bathroom, be sure not to wash yourself off before getting in the bath, you’re clean enough already. Time to take a nice long soak in the tub. Afterwards, be sure to pull the plug and drain the water. It’s not like there’s a whole family of people planning to take a bath after you, right?

Okay, so usually families will use the same bathwater for everyone’s bath since they will usually wash themselves off first in a shower separate from the tub. That way when they get into the tub, they are already clean and they don’t dirty the tub water with their human filth. So in a way, your draining the tub kind of saved the family from bathing in your filth and experiencing the wrath of your baka gaijinity. Well, half of your baka gaijinity anyway.

Su Casa es Mi Casa Baka

By performing all of these acts you will have made it very, very clear to the family what a baka gaijin you are. Especially if you manage to pull all of them off in the same day (impressive!) So next time you are in Japan, remember how to act on a train, but also remember how you should act once you get to your destination as well. Make every house your own personal baka house**

So now you know how to be a baka on trains, and also how to be a baka while in a Japanese house. Have you ever accidentally made any of these mistakes while in Japan? Tell us your story in the comments! (Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.)

Also, if you want a more straightforward post about how to behave in Japanese households, it’s laid out pretty plainly in this post from VipJapan.

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**Please realize that this post is mostly satire and is supposed to be funny. I am aware that gaijin are not the only ones who perform the faux pas in this series of baka gaijin posts. They are just meant to draw attention to some mistakes people might make while in Japan in a humorous manner.
Hugs and kisses <3 J

Don’t let anyone get you down or tell you otherwise because armed with these tips you’ll be the most baka gaijin Japanese railways have ever seen. Feel free to print them out and take them with you next time you visit Japan. They’ll come in handy, I’m sure.

1. Miss the Last Train

How much more baka can you get than not even getting to board the train in the first place? Many of the most prestigious baka gaijin believe that trains in Japan run 24/7 when in fact, they do not. Many train lines stop running around midnight or 1am. Missing the last train is a great way to show your baka gaijin prowess and all of your friends will be very impressed.

However, if you do end up missing the train (you silly baka gaijin, you) there are a few options. The first and less desirable option is taking a taxi which will most likely end up costing you quite a bit depending on how far you have to travel. Another option is to hang out at an internet cafe and crash there for the night. They’re relatively cheap, have entertainment as well as food and drinks, and quite a few offer amenities such as showers and laundry machines. Not bad, eh?

2. Get Belligerent

If you do make it to the train in time, it’s important to be as violent as possible to show Japan how dominant you are. If you happen to be visiting Tokyo, or another busy area of Japan, chances are it’ll be pretty congested when you get to boarding your train. This is a prime opportunity to take the baka gaijin approach of shoving Japanese women and children to the ground as you make your way to the train (like a man), grumbling and shouting all the way.

Another approach to this is to realize that the congestion is nobody’s fault and it just comes with the territory. Pushing Japanese people into the concrete might not be the best option after all. Perhaps it would be wiser to just be as courteous as possible, try not to elbow anyone in the face, and just look forward to getting off the crowded train and into some fresh air again.

3. Bring Too Much Luggage

Another surefire way to piss people off (including yourself) is to bring too much luggage onto the train. If you just flew into Japan and are all ready to get to your hotel, the best way to make everyone’s day worse is to bring all that luggage onto the train with you. You’ll get in everyone’s way, take up too much room on the train, and if you’re lucky, you might even lose a piece of luggage in the chaos. Baka gaijinity at its finest.

However, if you just can’t handle being this big of a pain in people’s rears, there are other options. If you have lots of luggage, you can always grab a taxi or make use of Japan’s awesome takkyubin services. As I mentioned before, taxis can get kind of expensive, so takkyubin become a much more attractive option. It’s what I used when I was in Japan and it was just fabulous. Takkyubin services will take your luggage from you at the airport and then deliver them to your lodgings either later that same day or some time the next. They’re like, super convenient.

4. Talk on the Phone

Okay, so you’ve boarded the train without cracking any skulls, you decided to leave your luggage in the capable hands of the takkyubin kittens, so now what can you do to exert your baka gaijinity? You talk on your phone. Loudly. On the train, you’ll be likely to see most natives using their phones to communicate by means of text. What fools! Why text when you can blather on about how all your other baka gaijin friends are writing their names in kanji? I mean, the natives probably want to hear your side of the conversation anyway, right? You are very handsome and charming, after all.

Or you could just text if you’re not baka gaijin enough. I mean, not everyone has the conviction to be the best baka gaijin they can be. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Just disappointed.

5. Board the “Women Only” Car

If none of these other options are doing it for you, the sneakiest way to be a baka gaijin on Japanese trains (if you’re a man) is to get onto the “women only” car. Most of the time these cars are only labeled as such between certain hours of the day so make sure you board it at the most awkward and inconvenient time as possible. No one will question your manliness (or your baka gaijin-ness) ever again. Trust me.

This one is actually pretty hard to pull off since most people will let you know that you’re in line for the women’s only car before you get to board it. The best way to avoid boarding the women’s only car is to pay attention to the signs since most of the time they’ll have a short explanation of the cars in English along with the Japanese. The reason these cars exist is so women can feel safe from gropers on the trains. And remember, kids, groping is a no-no.

Be Proud. Be Baka. Be Gaijin.

And there you have it. Pretty much all you’ll ever need to know about how to act in, on, or around Japanese trains. So next time you’re in Japan, whether it be your first time or your fifty-first time, be all that you can be. Be the best damn baka gaijin this side of The Great Wall of China.** Make me proud.

So tell me, have you ever seen anyone make these faux pas in Japan before? Ever made them yourself? Leave us a story down in the comments!

**Tofugu does not advocate purposefully being a baka gaijin in Japan on a train or otherwise. Please realize that this article was written in good humor. Thank you and have a kawaii day.