Every Sunday we gather the week’s weird and interesting Japanese news and present it to you in our Sunday News column. It might not always be hard-hitting news, but we hope that it still informs and entertains you. Enjoy!

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Sashihara Rino Wins AKB48 Election

The cardinals have convened, the electoral votes have been counted, the Illuminati have made their choice, and the results are in: AKB48 starlet Rino Sashihara has won the latest AKB48 election, news so big that it made it to the top of Google News’ “politics” section. From here, Sashihara will lead the formidable pop group into handshake events and other dangerous scenarios. Godspeed, girls! [via Katsu News]

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Japanese becomes oldest person to conquer Everest: Japanese people are world-famous for their longevity, and it turns out that Japanese elderly people are pretty badass, too. 80-year-old Yuichiro Miura set a new world record this week when he became the oldest person ever to climb Mt. Everest. [via News On Japan]

Man With Knife Tries To Rob Store, Leaves When Clerk Asks Why: You always wonder what you’d do if you ever got robbed, but I don’t think anybody ever imagines it this way: earlier this week, a robbery was foiled in Mito city when the convenience store clerked asked the would-be thief why he was robbing the store. I’ve tried to imagine myself in this scenario, but I just get stabbed every time.

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Kyary Pamyu Pamyu Announces 2nd Album “Nanda Collection”: Although I don’t really listen to a whole lot of Japanese music nowadays, pop star Kyary Pamyu Pamyu has made a fan out of me with her bizarre music videos and amazing fashion. Now, she’s announced her second album, Nanda Collection for release on June 26^th. Here’s hoping it’s not a sophomore slump! [via Katsu News]

Japan votes to adopt child abduction treaty: After decades of refusing to adopt an internationl treaty on child abductions, both Japanese houses of parliament have moved to ratify the treaty. This treaty should help people stuck in a Japanese legal loophole when it comes to divorced parents and child custody. Very happy to see Japan finally making movement on this issue.

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Osaka takes plunge with canal pool

The canal in Osaka’s famed Dotonbori district, home of the Glico running man and the birthplace of the Colonel Sanders Curse, may turn into a privately-owned outdoor pool in the future. The area has already been built up a lot from its earlier, seedier days, but the pool would be the final touch. Just remember, wait half an hour after eating KFC to jump into the pool. [via Reddit]

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Wallpapers!

Our talented illustrator Aya has provided us with some desktop backgrounds of the header image. Enjoy!

Wallpaper (1280×800)
Wallpaper (2560×1440)

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Japan PM: Women, advanced technology key to restoring economy: Japan’s economy has been in the doldrums for decades, but prime minister Shinzo Abe’s set of economic policies known as “Abenomics” has been trying to fix all of that. Part of Abe’s plan to jump start Japan’s economy includes accomodating mothers in the work place, encouraging shorter working hours and on-site daycare centers for workplaces. While it all sounds good in theory, whether or not Japanese companies will implement these practices remains unclear. [via Reddit]

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Revisiting a Constitution Crafted ‘in a Week’: It’s always struck me as odd that while the US has amended its constitution a whopping 17 times, the modern-day Japanese constitution has remained exactly the same since its inception in the postwar years. But now, Japanese Prime Minister and his LDP are considering changing the cornerstone of Japanese law for the first time in more than seven decades. First amendment planned? “Soft subs only.”

Majority oppose 24 hour buses and trains: Even though the newly-proposed later bus hours have been getting a lot of favorable press in the West, Japanese people aren’t as keen on the prospect. In fact, a majority of Japanese people polled in an online survey say that 24 hour public transit is unnecessary. What makes them say that? Noise, traffic, or price, nobody knows for sure; all we know if that you may still have to catch that early bus home from your nomihodia.

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Live Action Kiki’s Delivery Service: Studio Ghibli has been known for decades as an animation powerhouse, but now the house that Miyazaki built is trying its hand at something new—live action. For its first foray into the live action, Ghibli is revisiting an old classic, Kiki’s Delivery Service. What comes after live action movies for Ghibli? Maybe a 4DX version of My Neighbor Totoro where you can feel like you’re actually riding the cat bus. One can only hope.

AKB48′s Tomomi Kasai in fling with president of AKS management agency: Japanese idol groups sometimes forbid its members from any sort of romantic relationship, as was made extremely clear last year when an AKB48 starlet was demoted for a relationship with Koichi an unknown man. But it seems when the relationship involves a group’s manager, the rules can be bent a bit. Somehow , I’m unsurprised that idol group management plays fast and loose with the rules.[via ]

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Scientist Says Pollution From China Is Killing a Japanese Island’s Trees: As China’s air slowly turns into a toxic grey soup, Japan might be beginning to feel real consequences from its neighbor’s pollution. Ancient trees are dying off in the southern islands of Japan and some scientists are beginning to believe that China’s industrial waste is to blame. It’s chilling to think that what’s happening to trees hundreds of miles away must pale in comparison to what’s happening in China.

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Open Letter

When you left my apartment you were caught by some photographers. I don’t want to say “I told you so” (but really, I did, didn’t?), so let’s not worry too much about that. Fact is, someone took your picture while you were leaving my place in the morning, and then they published it in one of those trashy weekly magazines. First of all, wearing that mask and that hat were a dead giveaway. That jacket too. It just screams “Minami Minegishi.” How could someone that’s into the lore and fandom of AKB48 not know it was you. So, I told you so. Okay, whew, got that off my chest. I feel much better now, don’t you?

In all my letters I always tell you to wear a full-headed horse mask, but do you listen?

This is what happens, Miichan. This is what happens.

All that being said, though, for most girls your age this wouldn’t be a big deal at all. But this is a huge The problem is, being a part of AKB48 means you aren’t allowed to date anybody. Something to do with the perceived innocence of everyone towards AKB48, or something similar? I can’t remember your exact words, but Akimoto AKB48 “The Big Boss” Sensei came up with these rules for a reason. You went ahead and broke the fourth rule of AKB48 (first three of course are “never talk about Fight Club”), and here I am, awkwardly, the one who caused you to break said cardinal 4th rule.

I know my lightly chiseled abs and extremely well-balanced face were too much for you to resist, but I still can’t place all the blame on myself. Would you take a 60-40 split? Surely some of your training as an AKB48 girl has given you some sort of resistance to men with collar bones like that of an ox, right? I mean, you didn’t have to blame yourself so much that you had to shave your head and publicly apologize in a YouTube video, don’t you think? I understand the whole “head shaving is a form of contrition” thing in Japan, but really, I’m not worth all of this. You could have at least asked me to come over and shave it for you. Get rid of some of those uneven spots. I could have helped you hit record on your video recorder, too. Maybe we could have hung out and continued that epic game of Risk: Star Wars edition? Wait, no, no, that’s why you’re in trouble.

What am I thinking? You’re mad at me. I mean, genuinely pissed off. I suppose I can’t have my cake and AKB48 it too, as the saying goes. When I text you it bounces back (Did Daddy Aki change your cell phone mail address?). When I call I get disconnected. Even when I go to that super secret McDonald’s location, you know, the one where you gorge yourself on twelve Idaho burgers every Friday night from midnight until two AM, you aren’t there. It’s just me and that lady who brings those cats inside. Is everything alright? Besides you being really mad at me?

No, no of course it’s not. How could I forget? You got demoted to an AKB48 trainee team. You’re just a replacement now for one of the “main members,” though in everyone’s hearts, especially my own medically concerning abnormally large heart, you are the mainest AKB48 member of them all. How far you have fallen, Miichan. For that, I am truly sorry.

One thing does confuse me though. Why pin this whole debacle on some other guy? I know you want to protect me from the AKB48 inner Yakuza circle, but I’m a big boy now. Is “Alan Shirahama” a real person, even? If anyone’s followed your AKB48 lore like I have, they’d immediately know something was fishy. You only like guys with big faces (I know what happened between you and Bob Sapp after he hit you with that Bob Sapp Sexy Beam), so this is all one big hilarious farce to anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock the last seven years. Really, why try to hide us, though? I’ve always been around, and I’ve always been with you, even when you don’t realize it. I’m a supportive boyfriend like that.

One of our favorite moments

I get it, you need your space and you want to protect me… no, us. I’ll give you your space, you obviously have something planned that I just can’t see yet. You were always the thinking type, always using your words and arguments to tell me to stop “stalking” you or whatever. But you weren’t always just a smart one, you were good at running too, especially when I “followed you home,” and you were like “ha ha, Ko-chan, you know what would happen if they saw us together! Stop following me or I’ll call the police, or whatever.” So, no more emails, text messages, letters, drawings, Photoshops, locks of hair (you thought your hair got donated to cancer survivors?! HA! I saved it from their greedy heads! They can never understand how important your hair is to me!), dolls, body pillows, dolls with your actual hair, etc. NONE of that anymore, at least for the next couple weeks while you recuperate. I realize you need your space, and I respect that.

I do forgive you, though, Miichan. Even though you tried to hide everything that happened between us from the press to save me and my career… I still forgive you. And, just in case it might jolt your memory of us being together, my friend put us together into the same picture so you can remember.

TF48 ♥ AKB48 5Ever

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This is news, this actually happened, to some degree

Lesser known (I think) is the band’s variety show, AKBINGO! Like I said, it’s one of my favorite variety shows to watch for study/immersion/etc. If you haven’t heard of the show before, you’re probably in for a treat.

AKBINGO! With English Subtitles

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I’ve included a few videos with English subs for those who aren’t as far along in their Japanese studies, but these videos will give you a good feel for the show. I really like that every show is different with tons of different games, skits, and performances. Every show is a new experience and there’s plenty of band members for you to pick favorites from. Even I have a favorite, but more on that later.

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Since this is a variety show, the cast members speak much faster and sometimes even talk over one another. As such, the show can be a bit harder to understand than your usual drama, so variety shows are more for upper intermediate to advanced learners in my opinion. But even if you don’t understand much of what’s being said, you can still enjoy all the visuals and follow along with the games which is quite enjoyable.

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Another bonus to the show is that it features both male and female speakers with largely unscripted dialogue. This gives you lots of exposure to raw unedited Japanese that’s very natural. If you’ve mastered learning with dramas (click here if you haven’t), variety shows are one step up in difficulty and will help take your listening skills to the next level.

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Like I mentioned before, AKBINGO! along with Gaki no Tsukai are two of my favorite Japanese variety shows, but they’re by no means the only good ones out there. Just look at TORE for example. And for whatever reason, the best AKBINGO! videos from YouTube were of the punishment dodge ball game, but the show has plenty of other games as well.

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Another great thing about variety shows is that for the most part you can come in at any time and enjoy what’s going on. Variety shows are probably my favorite thing for passive learning since there’s not a story you need to follow along with and you can just jump in and start paying attention anytime you want to, enjoy it for a bit, then come back and pay attention again later. Variety shows make for great passive background noise.

AKBINGO! in the Raw

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And here’s one of the better AKBINGO! videos on YouTube with no English subtitles included. If you’re a Japanese master, this will test your skills with all the chitter chatter going on. Can you keep up? And for those of you who aren’t at that level yet, you can see that it’s still pretty fun to watch even if you don’t understand much of what’s being said. What do you think?

Another nice thing about variety shows like this is that they often subtitle random dialogue in Japanese at the bottom of the screen which is nice, assuming you can read (if you can’t, click here for practice). Sometimes it’s done for dramatic effect and other times it’s done when someone says something too quietly or people are talking over one another.

One potentially bad thing about AKBINGO! though is the inconsistency of the shows, at least for those who can’t understand the dialogue very well. Some shows are more dialogue heavy than others, and some don’t even include any games or skits at all (gasp!).

John’s Favorite AKB48 Member

Okay, so almost everyone who has more than just a passing exposure to AKB48 has a favorite member and I am no exception. Since I’m sure all of you are just dying to know who my favorite member is, it’s Sae Miyazawa. She’s always been my favorite. Is it her height? Her short hair? Her smile? I dunno, I just think she’s cool.

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To be completely honest, I haven’t been keeping up with AKB48 happenings as much as I used to (I know, shame on me, right?) but I actually don’t think Sae is a member of AKB48 anymore and has moved on to something else. Well, she’s still my favorite anyway – deal with it.

Music! Music Everywhere!

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Another potential benefit of AKBINGO! (or detriment, depending on your tastes) is the inclusion of lots and lots of AKB48 music. I’m actually not a huge fan of their tunes, but I do really like the song included here. Most of their stuff is too sugar sweet J-poppy, but I actually think this one is pretty cool.

There’s also another version of this music video (the non-dance version) which is way better in my opinion, but for whatever reason it isn’t on YouTube just yet. You can check it out here though, and I recommend you do so because it’s pretty entertaining.

So tell me, what do you think of the show and AKB48 in general? Do you have a favorite member? Any other cool variety shows to share? Let us know in the comments!

We don’t write about them because we’re necessarily big fans of AKB48, but because they’re insanely popular in Japan and abroad, not to mention their antics have been hard to ignore.

AKB48’s Wacky Antics

Last year AKB48 introduced a new member to the group, only to reveal later that she was completely computer-generated. They also launched an internet service that lets you create virtual babies with members from the group.

And just recently, they raised a few eyebrows with a candy commercial that features some of the members passing candy to each other with their mouths, nearly kissing. Japan’s Broadcast Ethics & Program Improvement Organization has been flooded with complaints about the TV spot, although I’m sure just as many people are uh, enjoying it.

It’s crazy that these girls have been able to become so successful, but it shouldn’t be any surprise. Aside from the hard work that these girls have put in and the experienced producer behind them, they’re the latest in a long line of idols.

What Are Idols?

Idol (or アイドル), has become sort of a generic term for young entertainers in Japan. Idols can be singers, voice actors, or models.

But idols aren’t like most entertainers; they work their way up through a very specific career path. They’re recruited as bright-eyed, bushy-tailed kids, and are put through the paces being an idol.

Being an idol can be like an incubator for celebrity. An idol might end up becoming a big, multimedia celebrity; but, more likely than not, they won’t be famous outside of a small, localized niche.

Another thing that sets idols apart from your everyday, run-of-the-mill singer is their sophistication, or lack thereof. Idols are often recruited as unrefined, unpolished performers, and are expected to improve as time goes on.

The idol’s lack of sophistication is endearing, and avid fans can track the idol’s progress as she goes through her career.

On the surface, this whole system of becoming an idol seems pretty innocent, but if critics are to be believed, it’s anything but.

The Dark Side of Idols

Idols are held up to some pretty high standards, both by executives and fans. They can’t have any sort of Brittany Spears meltdown and expect their career to be intact.

Idols are expected to be models of innocence and purity, young and uncorrupted. Any disruption of that illusion can end an idol’s career. If an idol is caught smoking in her off-time or – God forbid – in a romantic relationship, it’s game over.

For that, and other reasons, idols have their critics; and not just on an individual level, but some people criticize the whole system of idols in Japan. (The cardigan-clad Marxy of Néojaponisme has done an especially great job of riling up idol fans over the years.)

They see idols as raw, unadulterated capitalism at its finest; part of a brutal, unforgiving system that commodifies attractive young women and exploits unsuspecting fans into making heaps of cash for producers and executives.

I can definitely see a kernel of truth in those accusations. As an outsider, it’s sometimes hard for me to really understand the appeal of these teen entertainers.

But try telling that to the fans.

All About The Fans

Idol fans are some of the most loyal, fanatic fans of anything out there. They take a much more active, evangelical role in the career of an idol than your everyday music fan.

They’ll memorize all of their favorite idol’s stats (birthday, height, weight, blood type), go to all their shows, and of course, buy all of their singles and albums. Some idol fans go so far as to buy multiple copies just to help their idol’s record sales. One crazy fan bought 5,500 copies of an AKB48 single. Talk about dedication! People in the comments are saying that the guy who bought 5,500 copies of an AKB48 single is a hoax, though not completely out of the realm of possibility.

What drives these fans? What makes them so dedicated and loyal? Obviously each fan has his or her own reasons, but my personal theory is that it’s the narrative of the idols that really draws people in.

Everybody loves an underdog story, and idols are the ultimate underdogs. They start from the bottom in a fiercely competitive, saturated market full of other idols, and try to work their way up to the top.

But the best part is that fans are part of the story. Fans track an idol’s career from the very beginning, buy the singles that help put the idol on the charts, meet with idols at concerts, and overall feel very involved in the success of their favorite idols.

Bearing the fans’ involvement in the career of idols, AKB48′s success makes a lot of sense. And you can be sure that we’ll see many, many more successful idols in the future, thanks to fan support.

(Just don’t talk to fans about Korean idols.)

Read more: Dae’s Idol 101, Néojaponisme

[Header image source.]

Credit to Czarina Doyle for making the Photoshop even better!

Idol group extraordinaire AKB48 caused a bit of a stir earlier this year when the group added a new, completely computer-generated member; but now AKB48 is taking its digital wizardry to the next level, creating a website that allows fans to create digital babies with the young women of AKB48.

For those of you who don’t know, AKB48 is a popular idol group in Japan made up of dozens of young Japanese ladies that has topped the pop charts for almost three years running.

Yesterday, the group announced a promotional deal called “AKB Official Net.” AKB Official Net costs ¥1,480 ($19US) a month, and provides you internet service and tons of exclusive AKB48 goodies.

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One of those goodies is an online tool to digitally combine your face with the face of one of five members of AKB48 and create an approximation of what your future lovechild would look like.

The website for AKB Official Net features AKB48 star Yuko Oshima smiling serenely at the camera asking “Would you make a baby with me?” while breastfeeding. “WTF” is an understatement.

You too can create an ungodly abomination!

And while the baby-making service is nice and all, you might be wondering what else the paid service actually provides. What do you get with the 1,480円/month AKB Official Net?

• Internet service
• An official @akb48.ne.jp email address
• Access to special AKB48 pictures and videos
• Advance tickets to AKB48 events

AKB Official Net proves once again that A. AKB48 knows no shame and B. It really knows its fanbase. What AKB48 otaku wouldn’t jump at the chance to have a digital lovechild with their favorite high-school aged idol?

This deal also shows that you can slap one of the thousands of faces of AKB48 onto any product imaginable and it will sell like hotcakes. What can we expect in the future? AKB48 promotional deals with other utility companies? AKB48 vacuum cleaners? Or maybe, most unexpected of all, music from AKB48?

With everything that AKB48 has been doing recently, I feel like the group is reaching Spaceballs-levels of merchandising.

“AKB48 the flame thrower!”

The offer opens up today, so all of you AKB48 fanboys and girls can head over to http://www.akb48.ne.jp/ and make your very own otaku babies… though, first you’ll need to be a member of the ISP :(

Oh, here’s a little omake:

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Spoiler alert, cats shouldn’t be breast fed by humans, especially males. That doesn’t make any sense.

P.S. Want a similar app for Tofugu? Tell us on Twitter.
P.P.S. More than a little disturbed about breastfeeding Mother Koichi? Complain on Facebook.