Tofugu.com – Wonky Japanese Language and Culture

Surprisingly, learning Japanese really is like going up stairs in a wheelchair, possibly sans the ninja. I get so many emails of people asking me why their Japanese isn’t getting any better. Here’s how these emails usually go:

Hey Koichi, I’ve been studying Japanese for a few years now. I take classes, I talk with Japanese people, and I use flashcards for kanji…but I don’t feel like I’m getting any better. What am I doing wrong?

Response: You just have to keep on studying. Not “getting any better” is really normal. You’ll feel like this for a while, and then all of a sudden a bunch of things will fall right into place. You just need to keep on persevering, and then there will be a moment where everything suddenly gets better!

I don’t really delve into the details of this phenomenon via email, so I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you everything I know (which might not be that much, so all of you studying out there can help me). Read more…

Paradise TV, beloved Japanese satellite smut-provider, will be hosting its annual 24 hour charity event this weekend: ２４時面テレビエロは地球を救う or “24 Hour Telethon Porn Can Save the World”.

Stop! Aids will be the day’s motto (the punctuation seems a bit wonky but it’s a lovely sentiment, all the same); all proceeds earned during the 24-hour span will go to the Japan Foundation for AIDS Prevention (JFAP). The basic idea of this event is simple: AV (adult video) enthusiasts contribute to Paradise TV’s collective endowment in return for the enlargement of their collective endowment.

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You’d think after all these years of Godzilla attacking Tokyo, they’d know not to build mountain sized buildings in Tokyo Bay (isn’t that where Godzilla lives!?). They’re just asking for something bad to happen to it. No wonder they aren’t coming out with new Godzilla movies any time soon – they’re waiting for this thing to come around.

For 300 – 900 billion dollars, Japan could build a self-sustaining “Utopian” mountain in the middle of Tokyo Bay. It would be supported by gigantic pillars, house up to a million people, and most likely snow naturally near the top. It would take up six square kilometers, and shoot 13,123 feet into the air…that is approximately 700 feet taller than the genuine Mt. Fuji, Read more…

You’d think that after possible nuclear meltdown, a heat wave, minor tsunami, and regular Godzilla attacks, people would be tired of canned disaster food. Problem is, people can’t get enough of it.

Fujitaka, a Kyoto-based vending machine manufacturer came up with the idea of serving people ramen out of the can. The Japanese people can’t stop making things better. First they took American VCRs and turned them into transformers; now they are taking those old-fashioned, third-world country Styrofoam ‘Cup Noodles’ and turning them canned and futuristic. That’s right, no water necessary. All your cans are belong to us. It’s the perfect still lives with mom 40 year old’s disaster relief food. Read more…

When you’ve ridden the youtube village tricycle a few times, you’ll realize that there are a bunch of undeserving popular folks, and just as many talented unpopular ones. Moonkey4U falls into the latter category.Though Moonkey provides a variety of different videos, all of them are of high quality. Sometimes he just talks into the camera (great for Japanese listening practice – he’s a quick talker), sometimes he goes places and takes you with him (great for learning about Japanese culture and people), and other times he’ll do something completely confusing (good for variety, I suppose). All-in-all, Moonkey is going to be a great subscription for the youtubers reading on this site. I highly encourage you to check him out.

I don’t remember how I originally stumbled upon him (though I think it was through maxdesu’s subscription page), but I remember being immediately fascinated by his videos. This is why I subscribed: Read more…

A little while back, the Tofugu team went on an excursion to Japan. One of the things we really wanted to see was the Mori building. More specifically, we wanted to ascend the Mori building and then look at everything not inside it. Being one of the best city-views Japan had to offer, we thought we’d give it a shot; unfortunately on our way there, we were accosted by an overly friendly Coldstone employee who helped us find our way there…by physically leading us to the foot of the building. At this point, we knew we had to go back and get some ice cream goodness. The guy helped us out, right?

On our way back to Coldstone, we started up a discussion. Like most Coldstones, do they accept tips in exchange for singing? Normally, the answer to this would be easy. Read more…

The Obake Series: An Introduction

Later this month, we will be posting the first of a series of articles on Japanese monsters and ghosts, or obake (お化け). Obake, also known as bakemono (化け物) are a motley bunch, with unique backgrounds and personalities. They are portrayed widely in Japanese folklore and art; some have even been popularized in anime and manga. As for the Tofugu Team, we have no real reason for undertaking this project, other than the fact that we find the obake to be quirky and interesting, and hope that you will, too.

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It seems the question was posed in the Crime Suppression Division in Bangkok recently: What better way to teach our law enforcement officials a lesson than through public humiliation? And, truly, what greater shame could be inflicted on a staunch, over-bearing asian man than to having to wear a hot-pink accessory depicting Hello Kitty, Ambassador of All Things Cute and Girly? It seems that when the Thai want to teach you a lesson, they really get you where it hurts. Read more…

*Paraphrased translation of 「ブスの産地」日本一は「群馬県」 from the Shukan Shincho website.

According to a recent online poll conducted by Livedoor, a Japan-based internet service provider, the women of Gunma Prefecture (群馬県) are the most unattractive in Japan. Ouch. That’s right, out of Japan’s 47 prefectures, Gunma, located in the middle of the Japanese archipelago, placed dead last.

Of course, the men of Gunma had something to say about the poll. Some “were not surprised about the results”. One college student observed, “Now that you mention it, there aren’t many pretty women in Gunma”. Others, such as those who work in the Gunma Prefectural Government, found the poll to be a bit more upsetting.

One such official dismissed the unofficial results, speculating that Read more…

When you’re not saving the Mushroom Kingdom from blood-thirsty turtles, you can use your uneducational Nintendo DS to study, improve, and practice your Japanese. There are several “games” out there to help you. Of course, there are several electronic dictionaries out there that do similar things, and it seems like everyone has them. I’m here to tell you that you should hold off and buy a DS instead. That’s right, buy a piece of gaming hardware for your education. You might even be able to convince your parents to do it for you, if you’re lucky. But why buy a Nintendo DS instead of an electric dictionary? First off, there is a good selection software you can choose from, and all of them do different things.

Nintendo DS Kanji Dictionary:
そのまま楽引く辞典／漢字そのまま (sono mama raku hiku jiten / Kanji Sonomama). How many times have you looked at a kanji and had no idea what it was? More than you can count, most likely. Once you stop reading children’s books, you’ll probably Read more…