It reached a huge spike about 3 years ago in my late twenties. I took Japanese classes, suddenly watched a lot of anime, listened to a huge amount of Japanese music etc… all while under the spell of the ‘perfect’ Japanese girl.

Anyway, long story short, I recognise that particular spike as pretty much just idolization now. I still have an underlying attraction and preference for Asian girls (and my fiance is Taiwanese), but the whole idealization of the language/culture/mannerisms/quirks etc has come and gone.

Just feel like this is the type of thing you might regret later on. That’s just my 2 cents.

I
just don’t understand why people have a preference for a specific
ethnic group. After all, everyone is individual, every culture has it’s
beautiful and ugly sides.
I had boyfriends from various
nationalities and would never call any of them better than the other.
They were all just different. They all had their good and bad points. My
Japanese partner loves me though I am totally not like a Japanese
woman!
I agree, that Japanese women in general behave gentle
and calm,
they don’t raise their voices, discuss much or start an argument (though
I wouldn’t call that feminine!). They also take a lot of care about
their outer appearance, clothes, make-up and hair. But what matters in
the end is the way a person is in private, when you are alone, as a
couple. When all the make-up and the social norms are not existing any
more.

If there is true love (and I mean the kind of love
that stays after the first romantic bliss and passion are gone and
everyday life has taken over), even strong cultural differences can be
overcome if both partners are able/willing to compromise and meet in the
middle.

Small back story: growing up I fell in love with Japanese culture as soon as it was introduced to me at a very young age. Videogames, anime, manga, all of that good stuff just clicked with me right away. Everyone has something that just fits with them, and for me it was what the Japanese had to offer. Or, more accurately, the pieces that made it to our shores. Obviously I know that what’s presented in media is never the true nature of a culture but what is true is that I knew there had to be something unique about the place that produced these fragments that I enjoyed so much. And yeah, it was the girls. When I first saw a Japanese girl it was like an explosion in my soul. I can’t actually explain it. What’s your favourite colour? Why? You don’t know why; it just IS, and it’s the same for me with Japanese girls. It’s not that I don’t like other races. I have been attracted to girls of almost every race at some point in my life (black, white, east Indian) but when it comes down to it I find myself returning to the Japanese again and again. Those eyes are just… perfect. More than that though. Mannerisms, body, eyes, hair, stupid little things like the way they sound when they words like “oshii”. I realize I sound like a retard right now but whatever; those who get it, get it.

So my plan was to get an English degree, go to Japan to teach English, and meet the Japanese girl of my dreams. Needless to say it never happened. I wanted to, even had support from my parents, even got the University English degree (which you would never guess from the writing in this blog), but life just took me another direction. Fast forward many years later and I’ve since stopped playing games, watching anime, and reading manga, but I still watch Japanese live action dramas from time to time. The dream is gone but Japanese girls still hold the same allure for me. I’ve even got to the point where I don’t want to go to Japan anymore. As I got older I realized that the realities of life have no hopes of even coming close to living up to our dreams and I figure that going to Japan would have been no different. And now, as long as I never go there Japan can remain this mythical fantasy land from my youth. A Shangri-La of angelic girls and all that other good stuff.

So it’s safe to say that I was completely blindsided when I went on a vacation just recently and lo and behold, there’s was a 22 year old single Japanese girl (right from Tokyo) along side of me. It was fate I tell you. So get this; tons of old couples, a few small kids, very few couples my age (I’m 30), and 3 bus loads of elderly Japanese couples made up the entire resort. Among the Japanese was One woman in her 70s, her daughter in her 50s, and the daughter’s niece. Ono Mai. 22. Cute as a button. When I saw her I had to talk to her. I just wanted to say hello, see what she was like. We talked for 3 hours non stop that first day we met.

What I said about reality not living up to expectations? Yeah, throw that crap right out the window and go 180 degrees in the other direction. She was EXACTLY as I hoped she would be.

*SIDEBAR* This is where Parker Lewis talks to the camera….

When I say that she was exactly what I hoped for, this does not mean she was a vacuous air head moe anime type soulless stereotype. That was never what attracted me to Japanese girls. Number one it’s the eyes; they are special. Not just “Asian” either. I mean specifically Japanese girls. Second, it’s the language. Of all the languages in the world Japanese is like sweet music from heaven to my ears. Third, the general mannerisms that I’ve observed through Japanese media when it comes to girls who are NOT the brain-dead moe type, like Shibasaki Kou or Manami Higa; they’re sweet but not empty. This is what I mean when I say she was exactly as I had hoped for.

*END SIDEBAR*

Absolutely every aspect of our time together during those 2 weeks was perfect. The word “Magic” doesn’t even begin to describe the chemistry her and I shared. By the end of our time together she was ready to come back home with me, or me with her, or whatever would work best. Obviously when reality set in we realised that there was literally zero chance of it ever working out. We kept in touch through e-mail for a week or so until I ended it. Spending all of our waking moments in an attempt to keep alive something that was not to be is just idiotic, and someone had to pull the plug. As the more mature (age wise anyway) I decided to man-up and cut all ties.

Ultimately the experience was both triumphant and crushing because, although all my dreams of Japanese girls were brought to life in a reality that was greater than the fanboy-fantasy, I got a terrifyingly sick feeling in my gut that made me second guess my life. I felt as though I really should have gone to Japan all those years ago. Not because life in that country would have been flowers and sunshine, no, life there would have sucked rather hardcore (work 20 hours a day 7 days a week my ass) and I’d have been begging for my homeland real quick, but when I did go home you would better believe it would have been with a girl like Mai by my side as the missing piece to my puzzle and me to hers.

But what now? Well, yeah, I could chase her to Japan and risk it all and blah blah blah but that’s never going to happen, so to hell with that. Sometimes knowing what could have been can be enough to get you through the day. In this case it will have to do; that, and a couple of stiff drinks to drown the core of my heart that now perpetually burns like a nuclear fusion reaction for a love lost half way around the world to a time that never was. I love you, Ono Mai, and I will never ever forget you.