I think it’s better than referring all Asians as “Chinese” or “orientals”. At least the term is correct and doesn’t insult your nationality. How are Asians living in Asia supposed to distinguish between Europeans and North Americans let alone by country? What’s more confusing from their perspective is that a lot of western countries are a melting pot of different races and backgrounds. At least the term “foreigner” is more PC than what the rest of the world uses for Asians. Not saying you’re guilty of this but just making a general observational statement

In Japan, we call it ‘trunk’ too:) Japanese people tend to use British English, but I guess Australian English is similar to British English. I wonder how British people call them. curious.

AwwwつД｀)･ﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ

This is all a fair point, but if you speak Japanese and live with Japanese people, you know that their idea of “foreign” vs. “Japanese” is much more ingrained, monolithic and just dumb than ours.

For example, in English, yes, many racist people will lump Viet Nam, Korea, China, Japan, Taiwan, &c. together as “Chinese.” And all African as “black” and olive-skinned peoples from Maghreb to Hindustan as “Arab.”

And yes, that is unspeakably racist and inappropriate. But it’s STILL a step above the Japanese system that lumps Chinese, Korean, Viet Namese, Indian, Central Asian, African, Eastern European, Southern European, Western European, North European, Sub-Saharan Africa, Central American, South American, North American, white, black, Asian, Aboriginal Australian and Inuit and any non-Japanese person born in Japan, or a Japanese person born outside of Japan all together as “foreign.”

Japanese people born to Japanese parents in other countries are “nikkei” (anyone born after that is “foreign.”) And anyone born in Japan to Japanese parents is “Japanese.”

Which means that a racist American will at least differentiate between Asia, Central Asia and Africa. A racist Japanese person can’t even be bothered to do that. This means that NON-racist Americans already have a head start against non-racist Japanese people.

So, actually, no, I can argue (just did, in fact) that Japan’s racism IS objectively worse than our own in America – and they have proven in the past that their racism can be just as violent as ours (remember that WWII had strong racial supremacist undertones in Japan, a lot of which remains today in regular anti-Korean protests in Tokyo and Osaka). So, please take your cultural relativism to the children’s table at the JET Program welcome party.

Mescale is a known racist and sexist troll. And, yes, he appears to be British.

” How are Asians living in Asia supposed to distinguish between Europeans and North Americans let alone by country? ”

Do what we do in America: ask as politely as you can or just refer to them as “people.” Why should a person’s nationality ever be an issue unless you are specifically talking about that person’s nationality?

What I mean is, if a stranger on the street sees me, why do they need to say “外人” when ”人” will suffice. Am I not a 人？ Many people, especially older store clerks, ask me where I’m from. I say “America.” Good, now they know where I’m from. They can refer to me as アメリカ人 because they asked, politely, and I told them.

It’s no different from names. You can’t ask someone what their name is and then refuse to address them as anything but “hey you.”

If they don’t know me, they don’t need to label my nationality. They can refer to me as a “human being” as they would any other person. If they DO know me, they can respect me by referring to me by my nationality, or by my name.

You’re missing the point that Japanese people use the word 外人 in situations where 人 is enough. They go out of their way to label us and point at us. It’s not just a placeholder used to refer to amorphous groups of strangers. They will literally come up to you and call you “Mr. Foreigner.” I’m sorry, how about you ask me my name first, or ask me where I’m from.

You obviously don’t live in Japan, because if you did, you’d know how dehumanizing it is.

You definitely have some pent up anger that’s preventing you from seeing my point. Perhaps think about what i’ve said instead of overreacting with assumptions… My point is that people in Asia can’t tell the difference between white people (not all white people are the same), black people, etc the same way people here who haven’t been around a lot of Asian people (or other races for that matter) apart. I’ve lived in NY, Boston, Miami, Houston, and Seoul and am married to a Japanese person. It is definitely worse here. You probably haven’t noticed it because you don’t think about it as much. It’s like going up to a Spaniard and saying “that Italian”. You’re right, this doesn’t happen among white people or to an extent, black people because it’s rude and disrespectful/racist for assuming. However, this happens specifically to Asians (75percent of the time) where we’re all lumped in as “Chinese” or “Oriental” instead of Asian. This is incredibly disrespectful (especially being singled out like this). The only other race where this is done that I can think of to this extent are towards the Hispanics. Even towards black people you’ll surprisingly hear a lot of, “they all look alike” (no they don’t). When I’ve said “experience”, I meant the experience of having been immersed amongst another race. I was born and raised in the US. To me, it was easy to distinguish between the different white people, different black people, different Hispanics. When I moved to Seoul, I had a hard time distinguishing between Asians let alone Koreans. After a year or two (experience) there I was able to do so easily. After being there 7 years and coming back to Houston, the exact opposite happened. I was able to distinguish every Asian race but not of white people, black people, etc. took me another year or two to have that switched back. To imply I was suggesting the Japanese lack experience to distinguish between white people and black people is an insult to your cognitive abilities. When the Japanese use the word gaikokujin, they are technically correct in meaning “anyone not from here (Japan)”. I have never said this is acceptable, I’ve merely stated this has to be stopped from our own countries so it doesn’t happen on a global level. So no, I can’t give you the f-ing break you don’t deserve since you haven’t made the effort to understand the point I was making (it’s ok to ask without insulting the other person). And frankly as you can tell, I didn’t appreciate the tone in your response.

I agree it’s something that shouldn’t happen. But how different is that from saying, “hey, look at that Black guy”, responding with “that Chinese guy” as an answer to, “who’s Jake?”, or “hey you, the “Oriental fella”. At least they’re not being as racist by singling you out by specific race. Also, is it a majority of people doing this? 75%? Or a small number of people (like the percentage of people that still use the term “oriental” to describe people

And I agree, experiencing racism first hand is an incredibly frustrating and it makes you feel vulnerable and angry. It’s something that needs to be wiped out but unfortunately as we know from our history, it’s a slow process. Although, I feel Japan is making quicker progress than us given the amount of years they’ve opened their country to the rest of the world. Remember, it was a closed society not that long ago. For that, they should be given credit. Korea is a little behind on that but for the same reasons

You know what? It’s not different.

Calling out Japan’s racism has nothing to do with the racism in other countries. It’s racist, too. You’re really fighting an apples vs. oranges battle here.

The fact is that every behavior you mentioned is known and considered in the broader American society to be unspeakably racist. It may very well be common among regular people, but that is the kind of stuff that TV networks get fined for. (Two Broke Girls notwithstanding.) Racism is common in America, but it is well established as something not to be done purposefully in polite company. Inadvertant racism is qualitatively different because most people would apologize for such.

As for calling out Mami’s use of the word “foreigner,” it’s consistent with this. If a Japanese person came to America and used the N-word, I’d say, “Stop. Wait.” “Skinhead” in Japanese is used to describe bald people. I’ve made it clear to my children and students that it is NOT a polite word to use in English, ever.

That we have racism in America doesn’t change the fact that we have a different attitude towards it than the Japanese, and it doesn’t excuse bringing racism from Japanese culture over into ours. At the very least you must agree that America has ENOUGH racism already, and we don’t need to add Japanese racism to the pile.

You rather embarrassed yourself with all of the ridiculous over-the-top and downright false stereotyping you did there.

Thanks for being a classic American!

If I saw an Asian, Indian, or Black person walking around in England I wouldn’t immediately think of them as a foreigner.
I’d just think it was a British person that wasn’t white.

If I came to find out that they were not born in England and were here on holiday I would call them a tourist.

If I found out they were working here and came from a different country I would call them by their nationality and profession.

Never would the word ‘foreigner’ enter into my vocabulary in any setting.

The problem with the phrase gaijin in Japanese is that it is used very inappropriately and that becomes rude.
Especially when talking about someone that lives in your country.
I’ve even heard of Japanese people on holiday in other countries are calling the natives ‘foreigners’!

My Japanese wife and I have had a few minor misunderstandings because of our different languages. English is the second language for both of us, but it was our common language when we started out.

I’ve always thought “bye” and “goodbye” were completely interchangeable and I used “goodbye” all the time when we talked over Skype, but my wife understood “buy” as something you say at the end of the day to a friend while “goodbye” is something you only say when you’re going away and are not going to see each other for a long time (like the Japanese さよなら). So she was always confused and wondering what I meant when I said goodbye after each time we talked.

Another misunderstanding from my side was when she complimented me and said that I was 超格好いい（ちょうかっこういい）, but I hadn’t learned 超 yet and thought she was always saying 少格好いい（しょうかっこういい）. I always thought it was odd to give a compliment but also tone it down at the same time saying that I’m just a little bit attractive.

something went wrong as that is not my pic

Seems like it’s a difference of circumstance so it can’t really be compared. GB is a multi racial country. Japan’s population through most of it’s existence has been one race. It’s racism but more of a communal us vs them mentality which is prevalent throughout their society (even within their own groups). That’s why as soon as they see a person isn’t specifically Japanese, they’d refer to them as foreigner. “Gaijin” has negative connotations and is a taboo word for televised broadcasts but gaigokujin simply means foreigner and that doesn’t carry a negative meaning

Didn’t Mami specify this is her opinion based on her specific experience? I don’t think she mentioned this is what everyone believes but more of a snap shot into her own personal world which is brave of her. Most people in Japan wouldn’t open up like this, exposing themselves.

That’s why in the US it’s sold as Calpico. =)

I was just about to ask about knocking. Seems like the safest way to go about it.

Pssst…hey Mami. A little secret for you. See all these folks finding various ways to be offended? Well there’s no national or ethnic pride that can compare to the pride some folks take in their capacity for offense. In my country, I call them Offended-Americans, though it’s hardly unique to the US. They define themselves by their ability to identify things that allow them the opportunity to illustrate just how much more enlightened they are than you. It’s an establishment of moral superiority through either self-victimization or self-deprecation, coupled with an insistence that you acknowledge their experience while refusing to extend you the same courtesy. You owe them no apology, just relax and let them bloviate.

For further examples, watch the responses to this post.

That was a very funny and interesting story! My boyfriend is Japanese (we are both living in Germany) and at the beginning of our relationship we encountered a lot of difficulties and had so many misunderstandings and quarrels due to cultural differences and the language. Just a couple of days after our first kiss he told me, that he loves me, and I was irritated pretty much (in Germany you normally don’t confess your love in such an early state of a relationship). Luckily I found out not much later it was true and he really meant what he said (while he was living in Japan he never said it to any woman, though he was in serious relationships). I think for a happy and successful interracial love it is important for both sides to be open-minded, talk, listen, ask and explain a lot. Keep up the communication.

Mami, I really enjoyed this article. It is especially important to me as I’ve been dating a Japanese woman for 5 years now. Your “should” story REALLY hit home for me! I can not tell you how many times I (I’m American, by the way) have simply been making suggestions or asking her where she’d like to go when we get together such-and-such weekend, and she clings to my first suggestion like it is the absolute most dire thing I want to do. This happens ALL the time, and I never could figure out why! I keep complaining about it to her but it keeps happening. I think if I show her your post, we will both understand better and this slight problem will be fixed. I’m not sure how old you are, but she is a grown woman, and I wonder if the “English” she was taught back when she was in Japan differs from yours. It’s plain to see that the “should” (and also the “maybe”!) problems still exist though. When I go over to Japan on JET I’ll have to make sure to fix this distinction with my students, lol.

It’s crazy how many times I have simply been trying to suggest something, and she has taken it to be something I really, really wanted.

don’t be such an ethnocentric bully. You’re doing the same thing by condemning some part of their culture. to us it may be uncomfortable, but it’s just as bad if you think you have the right to judge them as them judging you right? Also personally attacking her for a culturally common thing that she had no part in instituting is not helping anyone.

I really enjoyed the drama you mentioned – “My Darling is a Foreigner” lovely film.

Thank you

I generally hold all of WWII Germany responsible for the holocaust (nationalistic ideas aside, systematically exterminating members of your own country for cultural differences is wrong, and should be recognized as such). I accept that there were dissenters, but challenge them to be named, rather than give them all the benefit of the doubt and asked for the perpetrators to be named. That said, they’re mostly all dead, so it doesn’t matter much, if only to prove you wrong that western society does hold a whole nation responsible based on the thoughts and feelings of one person (again, a cross-section of time and place, referring to pre-WWII and WWII Germany.)

Throughout this conversations, I found out that translating gaikokujin into foreigner isn’t correct. Using gaikokujin is neutral in Japan. Of course, since the word gaikokujin is neutral, it can contain a negative meaning depending how people use it. Gaikokujin means simply non-Japanese. When I told my life long friend that I was going to marry Canadian and move to Canada, she told me, ‘so are you going to be gaikokujin?’ Did she insult me? Hell NO! Didn’t she know me well? NOOOO SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND! I was asked similar question quite a lot and am still do when I told some Japanese people that I live in Canada because I married Canadian. They ask me, ‘so are you gaikokujin now?’ I don’t feel being insulted either. They are just asking my nationality. I say ‘I’m still Japanese and I’m just permanent resident in Canada. I’m not sure if I will get a citizenship in the future, but when I get the citizenship, I’ll become Canadian.’ In this conversation, Canadian=gaikokujin=non-Japanese. And nobody intends to insult. I said ‘culture’ because I had misunderstood the nuance difference between foreigner and gaikokujin. Literally same meaning, but I figured we use them differently.