AKB48 Election, Colonel Sanders, and More [Sunday News]

by 35 Comments

Edit: The AKB48 election we reported on were preliminary, and not final, results. The author regrets this error, and has shaved his head and joined the Tofugu B-squad as punishment.

Every Sunday we gather the week’s weird and interesting Japanese news and present it to you in our Sunday News column. It might not always be hard-hitting news, but we hope that it still informs and entertains you. Enjoy!

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Sashihara Rino Wins AKB48 Election

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The cardinals have convened, the electoral votes have been counted, the Illuminati have made their choice, and the results are in: AKB48 starlet Rino Sashihara has won the latest AKB48 election, news so big that it made it to the top of Google News’ “politics” section. From here, Sashihara will lead the formidable pop group into handshake events and other dangerous scenarios. Godspeed, girls! [via Katsu News]

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Japanese becomes oldest person to conquer Everest: Japanese people are world-famous for their longevity, and it turns out that Japanese elderly people are pretty badass, too. 80-year-old Yuichiro Miura set a new world record this week when he became the oldest person ever to climb Mt. Everest. [via News On Japan]

Man With Knife Tries To Rob Store, Leaves When Clerk Asks Why: You always wonder what you’d do if you ever got robbed, but I don’t think anybody ever imagines it this way: earlier this week, a robbery was foiled in Mito city when the convenience store clerked asked the would-be thief why he was robbing the store. I’ve tried to imagine myself in this scenario, but I just get stabbed every time.

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Kyary Pamyu Pamyu Announces 2nd Album “Nanda Collection”: Although I don’t really listen to a whole lot of Japanese music nowadays, pop star Kyary Pamyu Pamyu has made a fan out of me with her bizarre music videos and amazing fashion. Now, she’s announced her second album, Nanda Collection for release on June 26th. Here’s hoping it’s not a sophomore slump! [via Katsu News]

Japan votes to adopt child abduction treaty: After decades of refusing to adopt an internationl treaty on child abductions, both Japanese houses of parliament have moved to ratify the treaty. This treaty should help people stuck in a Japanese legal loophole when it comes to divorced parents and child custody. Very happy to see Japan finally making movement on this issue.

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Osaka takes plunge with canal pool

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Photo by Vicky Chung

The canal in Osaka’s famed Dotonbori district, home of the Glico running man and the birthplace of the Colonel Sanders Curse, may turn into a privately-owned outdoor pool in the future. The area has already been built up a lot from its earlier, seedier days, but the pool would be the final touch. Just remember, wait half an hour after eating KFC to jump into the pool. [via Reddit]

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  • missingno15

    The elections are only preliminary results, the actual results will be announced on 6/8 @ Nissan Stadium

  • てつ

    Just threw up in the dotonbori canal yesterday…good thing it’s not a pool yet.

  • ＭＡＩ☆彡

    Misunderstanding here. This “first day” really shows nothing. The final one will be out on Jun 8th. Be more careful when posting news, guys

  • DAVIDPD

    Reddit used as a source… -_-

  • ajseguin

    Mayuyu, Yukosan, Yukirin and Marikosa will be infront of sashi

  • Catherine

    akb aside, Good news about making some progress on some family law!

  • Perry Brown

    More importantly for Tofugu readers, where will the head-shaving, Koichi-dating, body pillow-inspiring Miichan rank?

  • MiichanFan

    She’s not a joke. Seriously dude. That was a heartfelt act of despair and you’re making jokes about it. (Koichi shouldn’t have done it either…but we all see how much he cares about real news from this post…lol. So it’s not just you.)

    FYI: She ranked 26th.

  • MiichanFan

    Great job with the incorrect news. Your source even says the results are preliminary!

    http://www.nihonbeat.com for all your real news needs, all.

  • Bbvoncrumb

    She didn’t win. Dafuq you talking about. It says in the source that this is a first day preliminary results. At least read the source before creating articles about it.

  • Bbvoncrumb

    Lol yeah, considering Tokyohive is terrible and been down for a week.

  • JapanParent

    The news I read said that they still had the “except in cases where abuse is feared,” which is apparently the excuse they’ve been using this whole time not to sign the treaty in the first place. In other words, they’ve signed the treaty, but with the caveat that, “we will totally not follow the treaty when it doesn’t suit us.”

    Because, see, the condition that “abuse is feared” is pretty wide open to interpretation, and, apparently, Japanese family courts are HAPPY to “fear” that a foreigner will abuse a Japanese spouse or child – and (and I have personal experience with this) they are very, very reluctant to admit when a Japanese person is abusing children.

    Ugh. The whole situation is so disgustingly hypocritical and racist. Japan can’t sign a treaty on international abduction because foreigners might abuse their children – yet they’re too lazy to clean their own house and deal with the abuse parents here heap on their children every day.

  • Japanparent

    Huh, funny. She was joking about it last night on Japanese TV (I think it was Itte Q, but I can’t be sure). She was laughing and having a good time – gladly pointed out how she was wearing a wig and even gave detailed information about how much had grown back – all while grinning widely and laughing.

    Yeah, it was so tragic and we can’t joke about it because she is so emotionally damaged by it.

  • Sashifan

    i got the impression that this blog is half-assed since… some point in time. this akb48 news mix-up was just bound to hapen. it’s not really mix-up because anyone who knows about the akb48 elections know they always do the sokuhou several times before the actual election. I know that none of you guys really care about akb48 or really get them or want to get them just from the posts that have been posted (and the fact none of the bloggers here seem to read japanese news in japanese). there’s just a lack of understanding about japanese culture and akb48 and all that and i understand not everyone cares about akb48. that’s fine but if you don’t care about them then post about them because otherwise it comes off really annoying… the typical gaijin looking at japan thing. it’s just very superficial and warped.

    やたらと頻繁に更新している割に中身が乏しいという印象を読むにつれ必然的に持たせられました。..
    you guys just seemto update frequently and in the process seem to be sacrificing quality QUITE SUBSTANTIALLY MIGHT I add. some of the topics of the posts are just very challenging i would say just because of the vastness. I understand a blog post doesn’t have to cover every frikin’ thing about it from every angle but no matter how i look at the post it’s just so BRIEF and downright lazy and very very shallow. you guys should look at EYK, eat your kimchi… they do stuff about korea but they just do a very thourough job with their videos and written posts. they’re just very good at articulating themselves in general and i never ever feel bias from them or preconception/prejudice towards korea from a foreigner’s pov or the whole mystification bullshit that foreigners do… yeah they don’t cover anything and everything on a subject since you just physically can’t but it’s pretty damn throuough and i don’t feel laziness from their posts like i do from your posts. i just think you guys can learn a lot from them. dont’ copy them but learn from them…

    my advice is please just get the quality up. if the thing you’re posting about is that challenging or vast then break it up into multiple posts or spend more time on it before you post it. there’s no need to rush. write something worth reading. you guys seem to get a lot of visitors so there is a guarantee somebody will read it… just don’t waste our time.

    p.s. i hope sashihara actually wins! i’m a big fan of her. loved her show sashiko no kuseni. i love having people like her and kurihara rui represent. maybe you guys should do a post on him but please don’t be lazy. if you’re going to be lazy, dont’ post at all.

  • Sashifan

    then *DON’T* post about them because otherwise it comes off really annoying…
    the typical gaijin looking at japan thing. it’s just very superficial
    and warped.

  • Brad Garrett

    That child abduction stuff is messed up.

  • JapanParent

    Oh, and here’s an article that perfectly sums up one of Japan’s biggest problems with child abuse: “taibatsu,” also known as “beating children up whenever they make a mistake in sports.”

    http://www.japantimes.co.jp/sports/2013/05/26/baseball/corporal-punishment-has-long-history-in-japanese-sports/#.UaS23ZzLLKd

    Again, Japan is unspeakably hypocritical in not signing this treaty, since they are FAMOUS for institutionalized child abuse – they are absolutely fine and happy with coaches beating up children (this article is mostly about pros, but it happens at all sports levels, including children’s), yet the second a foreigner is involved, oh, no! We have to protect our children from the horror of child abuse! Yeah, right. If the Japanese government actually gave two shits about child abuse, half the coaches in Japan would be in jail. Look up Sakuranomiya – a high school where a child was so badly abused by his coach that he committed SUICIDE, and the cops never bothered to arrest the coach and, last I heard, he was still employed at his school.

    Yeah, gee, that’s a country that is just WORRIED SICK about child abuse.

  • JapanParent

    Oops, sorry; I know that they signed the treaty (FINALLY), but I meant to say that their insistence on exempting situations where “abuse is feared” is hypocritical bullshit, because they obviously don’t give a shit when Japanese coaches are the ones doing the abuse.

  • JapanParent

    AKB48 is thinly veiled child porn. Everyone knows that. Tofugu staff don’t bother getting good information on them because, like all sane human beings, they are sickened by the entire outfit and want to spend as little as time in their twisted world.

  • 古戸ヱリカ

    But TYB48 is still OK, right? Right?!

  • http://www.tofugu.com/ Hashi

    Dafuq?

  • http://www.tofugu.com/ Hashi

    My mistake! Look forward to my apology video complete with shaved head and tears

  • 古戸ヱリカ

    Sequel to Dafur.

  • JapanParent

    No.

    It’s all thinly veiled child porn.

  • 古戸ヱリカ

    What about SKE48?! Morning Musume?! JAM Project?! You can’t crush all my dreams!

  • JapanParent

    Not all girl groups or idols are thinly veiled child porn. AKB48 and its constituent groups ARE mainly because 1) they hire underage girls and mix them with of-age girls without letting you know which girls are of age and which aren’t and 2) after mixing women who are of age with underaged girls, ALL the performers are put into skimpy schoolgirl outfits and made to look and act like underaged girls.

    These girl groups are then marketed to men of any and all ages – they’re explicitly forbidden from dating so that ALL their male fans can fantasize that they have a chance with their favorite girl. Again, no distinction is made between of-age women and underaged girls. If the group were explicitly sold to little girls with the aim to empower them and fuel their dreams, this wouldn’t be thinly veiled child porn. What makes it thinly veiled child porn is that it is explicitly NOT sold to little girls, but to men.

    Frankly, the entire outfit is just…unpleasant to think about, and it horrifies me when little girls say they want to be like AKB48. Really? Your life’s goal is to perform mediocre music and simplistic dance routines for middle-aged men and be held in a contract forbidding you from having a personal life so that you may better pander to these middle-aged male fans? AKB48 resembles a typical Japanese hostess bar or brothel, the way they line up the girls like they’re on a menu for you to pick and choose your favorite. It’s all…just…ugh.

  • possum_san

    …you’re just filled with disgusting opinions and stereotypes aren’t you?

    Seriously. You’re the worst type of person.

  • possum_san

    Good job making yourselves look even worse by making fun of Miichan again. Seriously. It’s not a joke. Why you people think it’s funny to make fun of someone’s mental breakdown is beyond me…

  • possum_san

    When you get paid to laugh and have a good time you’re going to laugh and have a good time.

  • MiichanFan

    NihonBeat is doing a pretty good job, too. They’re new but they’re
    definitely much nicer than some of the alternatives. It seems like they’re slowly falling into the groove of what makes a quality post. Some of the earlier content was short and iffy but now it’s getting better. Seems to be a slow
    week in terms of news this week though.

  • JapanParent

    Stereotype? What stereotype? AKB48 is explicitly designed to be a group that men can fantasize about. That is the ENTIRE point of the “no dating clause.” That was the WHOLE reason that the one AKB member shaved her head in penance.

    It’s in their contract, and the man who runs the organization has said openly that the girls are meant to be “accessible” to male fans. That’s not a stereotype – that is the actually stated goal of the group.

    The fact that underaged girls are mixed in with adult women, put in the same skimpy costumes, and paraded around for men to fantasize about…none of that seems inappropriate to you? It’s thinly veiled child pornography. Remember: pornography isn’t about the content – it’s about the PURPOSE of the content. The PURPOSE of AKB48 is for male fans to fantasize about dating the members – i.e., underage girls.

    It’s adorable that you find me to be the “worst type” of person. I find the manager of AKB48 to be among the worst types of people.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Sorry, I only TF48

  • possum_san

    I find that the worst types of people to be the people who make things up and spew them out across the internet as fact.

    Who said that AKB’s purpose was to be a group for men to fantasize about? What’s all this about skimpy costumes? Have you SEEN Japanese fashion in general?

    I must ask though…why bother watching any of it if it pisses you off so much? You seem to be delving into the wrong culture. Maybe you should go learn Arabic or something. I’m sure that the ultra-conservative nature of those nations will suit your tastes perfectly!

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    There are too many comments on this post

  • Caen13

    Wow so much hostility about AKB48, but is not one person proud of the gas station worker who risked his life to ask a robber why he was robbing him?!