First we made TextFugu to help the self-learners with Japanese. Then, we made WaniKani to squash the pain that is normally kanji. Today I’m so pleased to announce our third main foray into Japan-related products. Instead of going with another Japanese learning product, we’ve decided to go into dating, because frankly, that’s what Tofugu readers have been clamoring for ever since that first Tofugu post many moons ago. Not just dating, though. Tofugu readers don’t enjoy the company of other people (that’s why we’re on the internet!). No, you want the comfort of a body sized pillow, aka a body pillow, aka a dakimakura.
Please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Tofugu family DatingMakura.com, where you (yes, even you!) can find your One True Threadcount™, be it rayon, sheepskin, or the oh-so-naughty chenille.
DatingMakura.com is a fully featured dating site stocked with thousands of single body pillows in your local area looking for friendship, a lifelong relationship, or even just a “good time.” And yes, after months of rigorous beta testing, it’s now open to the world. Visit right now to chat with body pillows looking for ningenmakura just like you. Perhaps the love of your life is there right now, just waiting for you to arrive. There’s only one way to find that out though, and that’s to just check it out. In case you’re not totally convinced, here are some of the reasons why DatingMakura is the dating site for you.
- Why date humans when you could be dating a body pillow? Body pillows rarely nag and don’t talk back.
- Once that whole gay marriage thing finally becomes a thing (seriously, hurry up), pillow marriage is probably right around the corner. By supporting DatingMakura.com you are supporting pillow-human marriage rights as well. Now’s the time to show your devotion to your waifu by making her your actual wife!
- We have millions of body pillow profiles, thousands of which are probably in your local area (except for North Korea, where our website has been banned for some reason).
- Ever wonder what’s drawn on the other side of the dakimakura? Who doesn’t wonder. Now you can find out.
- Live chat with body pillows to get to know them first. Don’t waste time on first dates when you could be narrowing down the possibilities online, away from other humans. The greatest part? No registration required for your first eight chat sessions!
- Our incredibly scientific algorithms, developed by NASA and Tempur Pedic, find the perfect body pillow match for you. Are you the rayon type? Faux Fur? Microbeads? Our site knows before you do by watching you surf the web and taking pictures of you with your webcam. Your emotional state is then put through more scientific algorithms to determine your preferences, tailoring this dating site to you!
- More than 98% of beta testers found their One True Threadcount™ within their first month. Will you? Yes, you will, the statistics say so.
That’s DatingMakura.com. I hope you enjoy it. Love isn’t something to joke about, and whether that love is with a Nintendo DS dating sim, an anime doll, a half-cat-person, or yes, even a body pillow, that love is precious and pure. Go find your One True Threadcount™ with DatingMakura today. You can chat with eight body pillow profiles in your local area even before registering, so you have nothing to lose but the heart that gets stolen by your true love. “Sew” your own fate, today, just like I did!