Are We The Nation Of Sushi Abomination?

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Sushi. That delicious Japanese food that everyone seems to love. Call this post a rant if you want, but everyone is doing it wrong. I believe in sushi purity, where no other sushi is allowed to exist in my extremely racist one-sushi world. But seriously though, Americans ruin all ethnic foods. Taco Bell? Happy Teriyaki? Olive Garden!!? The list goes on and on. Sushi, too, is being ruined. We are the nation of Sushi Abominations. This will not stand. Allow yourself to be educated (in case you’re the type of person who thinks Taco Bell is traditional Mexican food).

What Is Sushi?

First we have to find out what sushi is before I can tell you what sushi isn’t. Sushi is made with rice with vinegar in it, and can be put together in a variety of ways. There are a lot, but the main ones are…

  • Makizushi: aka “rolled sushi.” This is what you usually see in America because it tends to have less raw fish in it (shame on you!).
  • Nigirizushi: aka “hand-formed sushi” is made with a round-rectangle-ish shape of rice with a topping draped over it. This topping is usually raw fish.
  • Chirashizushi: aka “scattered sushi” is a bowl of rice with raw fish and other garnishes on top. It’s like a sushi rice-bowl, if that helps you to envision it.

There are others, but that’ll get you the main picture. Originally, sushi came from something known as narezushi, which is basically a form of pickled fish (convenient because it could last up to six months, yum!). This developed into oshizushi, which is a kind of pressed sushi where rice and fish were squished together in a rectangular mold.

From there, sushi became smaller and much more fuel efficient (just like most Japanese products) and turned into nigirizushi, which is basically what we see today. Definitely went through an evolution of sorts to get to where it is today…

But that’s where the problems start. This is like the movie Gattaca. Sushi was fine before it came to America. It was walking along on natural evolutionary progression. Then America was like… oh hey! Let’s change it! Let’s genetically alter the sushi and create a “perfect” sushi. Perfect? PShhdKLJFSLFdkd. You’re DESTROYING SOCIETY SLOWLY WHILE YOU THINK YOU’RE IMPROVING IT. OPEN YOUR 20-20 VISION EYES.

So what are these genetically altered sushi? These unnatural sushi? Let me tell you.

Sushi Abominations

There are some small abominations, but I won’t list them here. You can list them in the comments, if you want. Here I’m going to reveal to you the heavy hitters. These terrible sushi abominations are ruining the world we live in. This needs to be stopped.

California Roll

Let’s begin with the sushi roll that started it all. The California Roll. This sushi roll has compromise written all over it, and when it comes to sushi, there should be no compromise. THIS IS SPARTA.

The California roll was introduced in the 1960s in, you guessed it, California (Los Angeles to be more specific). LA is a popular place for Japanese to move to. LA is as American as it gets. At the Tokyo Kaikan Restaurant (one of the first sushi bars in LA), Ichiro Mashita came up with the idea.

GREAT DISHONOR COMPROMISE #1: Instead of raw fatty tuna (toro), he put in avocado, because Americans didn’t like the idea of eating raw things (boo hoo).

GREAT DISHONOR COMPROMISE #2: He made the roll “inside-out” with the seaweed (nori) wrap on the inside, because Americans didn’t want to know they were eating seaweed (boo-dee-hoo-hoo).

Of course, this half-step-child of sushi became popular all across the United States because it was made less real. It’s no wonder you see Olive Gardens everywhere.

Frushi (Fruit + Sushi)

This is NOT okay

I think the fruishi (that’s fruit + sushi )boom has come and gone (I hope, hope, hope), but that doesn’t mean we should have let it happen. Kind of like sitting back and watching the Nazis do their thing until it was too late, this should have been stopped a long time ago.

There are many ways to make fruit sushi, though the worst ones are the ones that try to be like really sushi (while still calling themselves “new and exciting”). These recipes use regular rice and roll up fruit inside of it instead of fish or vegetables. I think you can imagine why this didn’t catch on for very long.

The other kind, which goes for sweet rice-substitutes (unforgivable!) are a tiny bit better, but this is still the sort of thing I wouldn’t allow anyone to bring to my home. I don’t care if it’s a potluck, and it’s raining outside, you’re not bringing that in my home, boy.

Sushi Burritos aka Sushirritos

Japanese food… so delicate… so refined… so, OMG WTF IS THIS?

This is the picture that made me think of the topic for this post. I mean seriously… what do you say to this? While I’m sure this sushirrito is delicious (it pains me to say so), I think it’s a generally good rule of thumb not to eat anything I can’t fit in my mouth. Look out, Chipotlé… you have a rival.

If you live in or around San Francisco, you can actually get one of these. Let me know how it was if you do!

Sushi Pizza

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etFZqmVotpU']

And last but definitely not least is sushi pizza. Sushi pizza (also known as “Toronto Sushi Pizza”) is supposedly very popular in Toronto, Montreal, and various Northeastern US states. While most of the sushi-blame-game so far has been targeted at the United States, Canada is close enough. I’m sure they can ruin hundreds of years of tradition just like Americans can (though, I gotta say, gravy on fries? Well done Canada, well done).

Sushi pizza consists of a fried rice patty as the base with layers of sliced ingredients (popular ones seem to be avocado, different kinds of fish, and mayonnaise). The claimed inventor of this dish can be found in Montreal, Quebec at the Atami Sushi Restaurant.

What Will They Think Of Next?

You tell me. Sushi burgers? Sushi tacos? McDonald’s Sushi Burgers?  Oh gosh. I’m not sure if I can survive in a future where these things exist. Seriously, the sushi mutations are moving faster than anyone can hope to contain. I’m going to head off and start digging the hole for my bunker now before sushi gains sentience.

P.S. Maybe we can hide from the sushi abominations together on Twitter?
P.P.S. Twitter was just to distract them. We’re really hiding on Facebook and Google+

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  • http://twitter.com/cdncarlie Carlie Kamieniecki

    I have yet to see any of the common sushi abominations where I am in Canada, but that could just be because I’m not looking hard enough. 

    Nigirizushi, in my opinion, is the best-tasting kind of sushi….I tried a California roll once and was like ‘wtf avocado? why!?’….granted I’m not a big avocado fan anyways.  Also, I think I’m now going to have nightmares about sushirritos, thanks Koichi ;)

    P.S. Gravy on fries really is the best thing ever (I was somewhat taken aback that I couldn’t get fries and gravy at a KFC in the states lol); just sayin’ :)

  • http://twitter.com/cdncarlie Carlie Kamieniecki

    I have yet to see any of the common sushi abominations where I am in Canada, but that could just be because I’m not looking hard enough. 

    Nigirizushi, in my opinion, is the best-tasting kind of sushi….I tried a California roll once and was like ‘wtf avocado? why!?’….granted I’m not a big avocado fan anyways.  Also, I think I’m now going to have nightmares about sushirritos, thanks Koichi ;)

    P.S. Gravy on fries really is the best thing ever (I was somewhat taken aback that I couldn’t get fries and gravy at a KFC in the states lol); just sayin’ :)

  • http://twitter.com/SakuyaFM Maria Takayama

    Having had sushi made by my aunt (she’s japanese and a great cook), I feel like whenever I see California rolls in buffets, or those packed ones in the grocery stores, I am enraged. Such abominations should not exist!

  • http://www.sputniksweetie.com SputnikSweetie

    I dunno, I already like the sushi-fied version of an eggs benedict they serve at Cream Pot Honolulu (rice disc, avocado, maguro, and a poached egg).

    I’d be down for a sushi burger, probably. I really want to try a ramen burger the next time we go to Japan, come to think of it.

  • http://twitter.com/Cheftom123 Tom Ofer

    I saw on Guy Fierri’s show on the food network, diners drive ins and dives, a big sushi abomination.
    it was called the jackass roll. it was a spring roll wrapper, rice, avocado, pulled pork, and french fries.. it looked disgusting not to mention it was the biggest sushi abomination ever. I dislike guy because of that now.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Agreed on nigirizushi!

    But, you guys CREATED the sushi pizza. How could you… how could you… this will hurt US-Canada relations… this may even mean warrrrr.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    haha, I almost included his restaurant, “Tex Wasabi’s” in this article, but the website / menu was sooo slow to load I gave up. Funny you should mention him though – totally agree, abomination!!

  • Anonymous

    Despite having lived in Japan for 2 years and becoming something of a purist when it comes to Westernized Japanese food, I can’t deny my native Californian-ness; I love simple avocado rolls (though the California roll is an abomination, no question).

    I tried something similar to the sushi burrito when I lived in San Francisco. It was basically a giant nori roll filled with udon, green onions and avocado. Ingredients I love, but put together in a really gross combination.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    I know, right!? And, don’t get me started on the BROWN RICE CALIFORNIA ROLLS.. sdlfkjas;dlkfa GUrGHHHRHGH

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    That sounds a lot like this sushi-pizza stuff… I suppose it looks tasty… but… ABOMINATION ← I am the nazis of sushi purity today

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    eww, udon in the sushi burrito? that doesn’t sound like a smart ingredient choice :/

  • kuyaChristian

    Out of nigirizushi, I like eel as topping the most. I have yet to try so many kinds of sushi though. I wanna try the sushirrito just to give Tofugu a little review. WAIT, Tofugu HQ was once in SF. Y U NO GET ANY B4?!

  • ko

    an art teacher once brought some kind of gross “dessert” sushi rolls to class. all I remember is they were pink, and sweet and I wanted to die. she also brought some prepackaged cali rolls and I just… don’t see the point T_T

    ps you haven’t lived until you’ve had disco fries

  • Josefina Alvarado

    Great article Koichi, other sushi abominations are the ones that are like California roll but it is coated with breadcrumbs and then fried. It taste nice I have to say, in México this type of “sushi” is really famous. Another abomination is sushi made with meat and chicken instead of fish, usually these earth and sea type sushi include cheese and bacon. But there is something I really do hate, this kind of side-dish served with sushi called “Tampico” which is a mixture of something surimi like, carrots, cabbage with lots and lots of mayonnaise, really horrible and they put a LOT on top of your sushi. However, the Sushirritos are way too much abomination for me because it is a combination of two abominations, american version of mexican-like food and sushi.

  • Amanda Burch Santi

    I dunno; This article seems a little below the typical tofugu standard to me.  This sort of “mutilation” of a food in order to cater it to a new market is standard industry practice. It doesn’t just happen in the US. Yeah, it violates a certain sense of Japanese aesthetic, but just look at Japanese pizza. It happens. America mutilated the Italian pizza, and Japan mutilated the American pizza. Food is kind of an organic thing that just happens. The mutilation of sushi doesnt just happen in the US, either. I was in HK with a Japanese friend who saw a hand roll and gave me a “What the heck is that?” To me, this article seems to propagate a popular common mindset rather than focusing on reporting on interesting culture quirks.

  • Dy~

    m(_ _)m  <— that is what I did when I saw the sushirritto and read some of the other monstrosities, not to mention /piccardfacepalm

  • Daniel Patterson

    I saw a Korean sushi bar (yeah, a few hundred miles off course, but he was really good at making sushi and I could also get a side of bulgogi!) once that made dessert sushi rolls using rice krispie treats rolled around gummie worms. Seems like that would count as apostasy.

    On the other hand, can we at least give credit to fusion cooking, innovation, and adaptation that progresses the sushi style forward to new markets and expanding interests. Lets face it, sacrilege or not, the California Roll is responsible for me trying others and falling in love with real sushi and sashimi. Without it, I may never have attempted to even try sushi. So, don’t hate the game, play it to win.

  • Rashmi

    Sushi seems to be going the dosa way:(((  I hope no one thinks of  ’dosa-zushi’ next ( white vinegared rice and seaweed rolled inside a dosa…) 

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    ewwww hahahaha

  • Brandon Inoue

    I can see the abomination and I can relate.  I used to think that way.

    Putting a local twist on something is actually quite common for a lot of foods and while they are viewed as abominations on their home soil, they can be quite good for their region of mutation.

    I’d rather have a California roll than a tekkamaki made of bad tuna.  During the time period, it was hard to get some sushi ingredients and even harder to get good prices on them. 

    Amongst the terrible mutations that will only be footnotes in weird food culture (Sushi burrito, rice crispies treats sushi,  and other incarnates) there are quite a few good notes that would have never been born had the craft not changed in a different climate. 

    For example, spicy tuna/California with strawberries and a touch of Kewpie mayonnaise actually makes a good combination.  For some reason the ingredients come together to make something magical. 
    Also, there’s the poor man’s toro.  Avocado with soy sauce.
    Then there’s the weird concoction I sampled in my locality.  No name for it.  Tobiko, avocado, and a raw quail egg yolk on top.  It must be tasted to be believed. 

    As a side note, my cousins from Japan came to the US and (against my warning) my parents took them to a Japanese restaurant.  While my aunt dislikes the neo form sushi available, my teenage cousins enjoyed them more than the sushi at home.  It was different and very “western” tasting. 

    Japan also reciprocates with Pit Viper Venom Ice Cream, Mamushi Ice Cream,  and potato mayonnaise pizza with corn dog crust.

  • Amuchan

    HAHAHA >> http://www.q8blackmarket.com/2010/04/mini-sushi-burgers.html

  • http://twitter.com/cdncarlie Carlie Kamieniecki

    Well I apologize for my stupid-minded compatriots….maybe we can work out a peace treaty???  :D

  • Lily Queen

    “#1: Instead of raw fatty tuna (toro), he put in avocado, because Americans didn’t like the idea of eating raw things (boo hoo).” This not true, although it seems logical. According to the interview with him that I read, his restaurant was mostly patronized by Japanese at the time. It was the 1960s! Few Americans ate sushi. He was unable to get high-quality tuna to satisfy his Japanese customers, and was trying to think of a local ingredient with a similarly unctuous, luxurious, fatty mouthfeel. Avocado is what he came up with — for his Japanese customers!  So don’t be unkind to the honorable chef. The poor guy was doing the best with the ingredients that he had.

  • http://abagfullofsweetdelights.blogspot.com/ sweetdelightss

    wow. i think i could have lived my whole life and been okay without knowing their are people eating sushi burritos out there. thx koichi. lol.

  • Anonymous

    Guy also made a redneck sushi which is BBQ pork on rice in a seaweed wrap

  • Moose

    I believe you are seeing kimbap if it has cheese and bacon, or cabbage, carrots and mayonnaise. 

    I don’t like eating fish so I eat kimbap which is Korean and doesn’t have raw fish in it.
    Don’t get me wrong, sushi is gorgeous and I totally respect it but I can’t stand the thought of eating it ever again.

  • http://twitter.com/KSheida Sheida :D

    Be happy that you’ve never eaten sushi in Azerbaijan. Be merry and happy.

  • Aln270

    When I was in France, this one place served “dessert sushi” which was basically nutella wrapped in rice. I don’t know how that’s possible. It was weird.

    I also make it a point to get a sushirrito when I fly out to SF tomorrow.

  • emrose

    America is a melting pot.  News Flash:   ALL OF OUR FOOD IS ETHNIC!!!  That major point aside, American’s have made many bland foods, from around the world, MUCH more palatable.  It’s America, not Japan.  I also highly doubt that we are the only other culture that has adopted a taste for Sushi.  I’m others are not doing it justice either.  BOO HOO!!!

  • Jessica Hazlett

    You know, I would try sushi pizza. It looks creative and interesting. It doesn’t seem quite as obscenely indulgent as something like the “sushirrito.” 

    The thing about culture is that it changes and evolves with the passage of time. Some of these abominations will always make me cringe, but we have to force ourselves to keep an open mind toward change! 

    Just not for the sushirrito.

  • http://www.tofugu.com/ Hashi

    Every day, I count myself lucky that I’ve never had Azerbaijanian sushi.

  • Usaaok

    I love the traditional stuff we have here in NYC

  • http://www.vietamins.com Viet

    I’ll stick with sashimi. Can never go wrong with high quality sashimi.

  • Franco_ale_

    Finaly!  Someone sees that Taco Bell and all those food chains dont represent at all mexican food. First thing, the tortilla they use doesnt really exist around here. I feel your pain sushi, its still not too late for you

  • Maxdrive_migz

    the california roll isnt bad but.. the sushi wrap and the pizza! the horror!

  • Resting Place

    Food is food,something may have been inspired by sushi,which it is likely to be quite delicious,but for the sake of the fish that sacrifice their lives to be called sushi can’t people quit calling their sushi inspired food inventions and sushi fusion, SUSHI!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YUROCFB7IKC6SJGXKG5XCUGXN4 Madeeha05

    I completely agree with this article. I’m a sushi purist too and the sushi abominations have got to stop! 

    If you can’t handle the raw, then don’t eat it! But don’t come up with apologetic, crazy versions of this delicate food and ruin it’s aesthetics and authenticity. I really don’t know why everything has to be ‘Westernized’ first before being accepted. Big Sigh* 

    But having said that, I do agree with other commentors here that food is evolutionary, and being creative whilst catering to the tastes of the foreign nations concerned is not always a bad thing. But definitely some lines need to be drawn! California roll: sure, maybe .. harmless enough. Sushirittos and Sushi Pizzas: HELL NO! .. stop it .. right now! 

  • http://twitter.com/NaokunSays Nao

    First, let me thank you for writing about what I feel is a serious issue plaguing modern American cuisine. Being half-Japanese, whenever I try to explain this, I either feel like a weeaboo or a terrible representative of Japanese culture.

    As a former vegetarian, I don’t understand why fish-wary Americans haven’t taken to inarizushi and tamagoyaki sushi (what is the proper name for this, by the way?). They’re both delicious and authentic; American-friendly with no need for avocado or mayonnaise.
    I recently went to a Portland restaurant that served sushi pizza (so quaintly called “sushizza” on their menu). A few Japanese exchange students ordered it, and I subsequently felt secondhand embarrassment for my entire nation. I count myself lucky, though, that I haven’t yet encountered fruishi or sushirittos.

  • http://www.tofugu.com/ Hashi

    A Portland restaurant? We’re based in Portland! Do you remember the restaurant’s name?

  • http://mkaito.github.com Michishige Kaito

    You’re so lucky! I want a japanese aunt too! So that I can go pester the heck out of her about japanese food, vocab, pronunciation and bore her to death with conversation practice and kitchen teaching!

  • http://twitter.com/NaokunSays Nao

    Mio Sushi, in Nob Hill. I think they have other locations, too.
    I just moved to Portland for college, actually. Do you know of any particularly good/interesting Japanese restaurants here?

  • Julien_Klein

    Well, they have a yakisoba sandwich here in conbini’s and in Nagoya, you can get a yaki burger, which is a burger with some regular okonomiyaki fixings and your choice of yaki udon or yaki soba fried in the shape of burger buns. So I mean…come on. They’re playing dirty too! Just look at what they’ve done to pizza (mayonaise…tsk tsk).

  • http://www.vietamins.com Viet

    Ahhh.. Apparently there is a Mio in the Hollywood District too.. Hmmmmmmmmm.

  • Julien_Klein

    Huh, we actually just had this debate in Mie-ken not too long ago amongst a bunch of us xpats. Like some other commenters have mentioned, foods change with localities, both within nations – Japan – and in host nations -NA, etc. I know you’ve travelled in Japan, so you must have seen some of the crazy creations they have come up with regarding their own cuisine. Just because its different from “tradition” (all tradition is created tradition) doesn’t discount its validity. Now that I know it was actually a Japanese man who invented the Cali Roll, that lends even more credence to the inclusion of West Coast Sushi in the evolution of sushi. As long as its vinegared rice and the basic ingredients are, its sushi in my books.

    That being said…that taco thing is…just wrong. Not only is it clearly fusion, it just looks gnarly!

    Interestingly, when I show my students pictures of West Coast Sushi, they typically exclaim “oishiiso!” while some of my co-workers are a little more reserved. Some of the younger teachers I work with really want to try it and have recorded the ingredients while others simply turn up their noses. Maybe one day I’ll teach them how to make West Coast Sushi (I just taught a cooking class how to make falafel while introducing them to hummus and taztziki). 

    You may find this interesting, but in Ise, there is a new restaurant that is making what could be dubbed as West Coast Sushi, and its extremely popular and very tasty. It is being accepted as sushi. The younger generations really love it. From what I’ve observed, older generations and Japanoph….ah, purists, I mean, are the ones who take exception to West Coast sushi. Soon, it too will be assimilated by Japan.

    One final note. Check out http://www.theeatery.ca for some crazy Canadian concoctions. They take it to an extreme, but personally, I love the Electric Banana Maki Roll. For other non-sushi related twists, check out http://www.japadog.com, home of the Vancouver-based Japanese Hotdog! Simply amazing, and I have yet to encounter a non-Japanese worker there (ordering in Japanese is A-okay!).

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for this, finally someone agrees! An hey, instead of calling it sushi, why not try calling it kimbap or gimbap. That’s like the Korean “sandwich”, looks like a maki, and kind of build up the same way, but with a lot more in it. You can make it with almost anything, beef, eggs, cheese, fishcakes, you name it.. but there is no raw fish (but it has to have radish, has to). When there is no raw fish included I would not call it sushi. To my wussy friends I serve kimbap and not sushi. They imminently assume its sushi and I always have to explain, No, its not is kimbap. Sushi has to have raw fish!  

  • Rachel Tilley

    I had my first sushi experience in Columbus, Mississippi, at a local Japanese restaurant called Little Tokyo. Since I was nervous about the raw fish, I tried a cucumber roll (nori, rice, and cucumber). It was amazing! So light and fresh. It tasted clean, which is a weird way to describe food… oh well. From there I graduated to California rolls and almost anything else with salmon or tuna in it. Since then I have eaten at at least seven Japanese restaurants and one Asian fusion restaurant across Mississippi and Tennessee. I noticed that every city has a roll named after it that you can only get in that city. Mississippians also really like to put crawfish in sushi rolls… especially Central and South Mississippians…

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    My personal pdx faves:

    PokPok
    Fire On The Mountain
    Little Big Burger
    Murata Restaurant
    Meesen
    Jade Tea House ← My favorite place ever

    I’m sure there’s more, but I can’t think of them if there are.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    There can never be peace… never!

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    I don’t mind it as much when Japanese ruin ethnic foods… maybe I’m just racist, or maybe they just ruin things way better… ?

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    D:

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