Sometimes it’s the little things that matter.
A few weeks ago, I was reading The Most Human Human, a book about artificial intelligence, linguistics and chatbots. One of the most interesting things I learned from this book was how difficult it is to make the things a computer says sound natural. And usually it was the little things that people do (or don’t do) in conversation that computers miss.
It’s common knowledge that the biggest part of communication isn’t what you say, but how you say it. Things like the tone of your voice and your body language usually speak a lot louder than the actual words you’re using.
When you’re having a conversation with somebody, you don’t just sit there and stare at him. (Unless you’re a bit of a weirdo.) There are lots of small things you do to let that person know that you’re listening and understanding what he’s saying. You can nod or shake your head in agreement or disagreement. You can change your facial expression. You can laugh. Even not saying anything at all can mean a lot.
What I want to talk about today are those little things that you say to let people know that you’re listening. In fancy linguistic terms, that’s called “back-channel feedback.”
Back-channel feedback is when you say things like “yeah,” “mhmm,” and other little words that let the speaker know that you’re paying attention. Sometimes these are words that you won’t find in a dictionary, and sometimes these aren’t even really words.
This is something you learn naturally in your native language; you might not even realize that it’s something you’ve learned. But it can be something that might be hard to pick up on if you’re learning a foreign language like Japanese.
“Maybe if I just smile and nod he’ll shut up.”
What’s even worse is that it’s something that’s not always emphasized in classes or textbooks, and it’s especially hard if you’re a self-teacher, somebody who is teaching themselves Japanese. Back-channel feedback is usually something that you learn by being thrown right into the fray of things, by observing what native Japanese speakers do.
But fear not! Once you know to look for these verbal cues and feedback, you’ll find them everywhere. The “hais,” “sou desu kas,” “ns” and “hontous.” Suddenly the “eeeeeeeee” that’s so common to hear from Japanese TV audiences will be more than just a funny noise.
Recognize that these little noises, like everything else in Japanese, have different levels of formality. The feedback that you give your authority figures will be much different than what you say to your friends when they’re joking around with you or telling a story.
Maybe the ultimate example of giving the wrong feedback comes from the Japanese emperor himself. Right after World War II, he traveled around the country to survey the damage from the war and comfort his subjects. Unfortunately, the emperor was a little bit of a dweeb. Not only was his biggest hobby looking at jellyfish, but he was also short-statured and mild-mannered. When his subjects told him about all the hardships they’d faced, all the terrible things that had happened during the war, he usually only replied with an “aasou,” or “is that so?”
Not really the kind of response people were looking for.
But my message to you is if you’re learning Japanese (or any language, really), be aware of the verbal and non-verbal cues of native speakers. Imitate them until they come naturally to you. Incorporate them into your own speech and practice with a friend. You could even give feedback to a recording of somebody speaking Japanese, as long as it gets you into the habit of doing these small things.
And soon enough, you’ll start sounding like a Japanese pro.
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