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japan-no-further-description-required

Michael over at Gakuranman.com is hosting this month’s “Japan Blog Matsuri” – to be honest, I’ve never taken part in one of these (kudos to Michael for all the reminder e-mails and Tweets), and I’m already breaking every single rule he put down. “Your blog post can’t be more than 200 words… You can only pick one thing… I’m Briiiiitish” (you have to pretend I’m talking in a fabulous British accent for that one). But, really though, you should go check out the Gakuranman and all his blogging adventures, because it’s a pretty neat site, which somehow relates bioluminescence to Japan. So here goes with the actual post (these words don’t count towards my word limit, yo!), 10 absolutely crazy things about Japan:

10 “Crazy” Things About Japan

Of course, I say a lot of these things tongue in cheek. I also am comparing them to Western culture, which really just means they’re different and not crazy. I just used the crazy word to get you to read this post. Did it work?

  1. Japan is full of little Butt Pirates: Watch your butt, because little kids love sticking their finger up it. It’s called Kancho, and it’s not pleasant, especially if you don’t know what’s going on. Yarrr.
  2. Japan is the only place with four distinct seasons: This comes from the fabulous files of the Nihonjinron. People don’t really believe most of the stuff here anymore (like Japanese evolved from a separate superior monkey, Japanese brains are different thus only Japanese can truly learn Japanese, etc), but I’ve found that the season one is the most prevalent of the bunch.
  3. There are #$#$%ing Gigantic Hornets: These hornets are not to be messed with. They’re huge, deadly, and wipe the floor with weak European bees. I fear.
  4. Monkeys like hot baths: There are lots of hot springs in Japan, and in the last fifty years monkeys figured out they could stay warm in them. I really want to go to there.
  5. Japanese novels remind me of LSD: Enough said?
  6. Japanese Commercials: I love ‘em – Just do a search on YouTube for “Japanese Commercials” and you’ll wonder where the last six hours went.
  7. Everything seems to have Mayonnaise on it: Pizza, sushi, mayo on mayo with extra mayo… You name it. There are even all-mayonnaise restaurants in existence.
  8. People Bathe at night: Maybe you don’t think this one is weird – this is how I got to grow up, and it was wonderful in college because I got the dorm showers all to myself. How do you sleep at night being dirty, anyways?
  9. Christmas is ridiculous…ly awesome: What? You don’t get a Christmas cake, celebrate Santa’s birthday, and get your Christmas KFC chicken? You’re missing out.
  10. Everything is available via vending machines: Drinks, hot drinks, hot food, t-shirts, used underwear, alcohol, cigarettes, toys, porn, and who knows what else. In fact, I don’t want to know.

There you go Gakuranman. I hope you enjoy this last-minute (which post isn’t last minute?), horribly rule-breaking post! I did try hard though, I kept the actual matsuri section somewhat close to two-hundred words, right? But, of course, I love his blog and you should too! Besides, you get to see all the other things that people think are crazy about Japan (starting on Monday now now now, I think).

So what have you found “crazy” (i.e. very different) about Japan in your experiences or readings?

  • Fredy

    Hahaha. These are intense.
    Man, those bees freak me out. I can't stand our lame small bees. I would have probably left Japan if I had seen one of those.
    The shower thing is funny! I normally shower in the morning, and my host family thought it was strange. I decided to just shower at night cause I didn't want to slow anyone down in the morning. I just thought there reaction when I said “No I'll shower in the morning” was funny. They were basically like “huh? why?” But it makes sense. If it weren't for high water bills I'd shower both morning and night. Night to clean, morning to just wake up.
    The funniest Japanese commercial I saw in Japan was a whole 2 seconds. It was just a man and a woman in a suit and they both yelled something and words appeared. It was completely serious and reminded me of some type of law office type commercial. I had no clue but I just laughed. Just random…

  • Facebook User

    ahahaha, Japanese commercials!
    showering at night makes total sense! but i only do so during fall semesters, after….marching band rehearsals. no one wants to stink up their bed, right??

    the first crazy thing about Japan that comes to me is the obsession with bigger eyes. whenever i visit my relatives in Japan, i usually can't go several days without seeing some sort of ad, be it in a magazine or a poster, for surgically changing your eye shape. but what's weirder to me is that even purikura machines do it now! last summer, i visited some friends in Okinawa & Osaka…and dayum, do we look strange in some of the purikura. it does depend on the machine, but i didn't realize we were going into a “LET'S MAKE YOUR EYES LOOK BIGGER AND CUTER!!!” machine. we look like aliens. wtf.

    ah, and sushi. sushi is crazy to me. all of my relatives on my mom's side (primarily from Okinawa) make fun of me for being a halvsie who cannot eat raw fish, with a white father who loves it.

  • sandra1

    I love most Japanese commercials. They are so unique. By the way, I enjoyed your video posted at Metacafe☺ ~ most entertaining.Gotta go!

  • http://www.ierict.com ierict

    LOL, number 7 for sure!!!!!!! If you think it's cheese….99% of the time you will be suprised by mayonnaise!!

  • http://scalesoflibra.wordpress.com/ elisabel

    Lol! Great stuff!

    I don't really know if back in my old country the people always bathed at night, but in my family that's how we do it. I never got down with the bathing in the morning business, I can't get into bed dirty either.

  • sojioyenuga

    Press Release – New Audio Book to Help ETHNIC GROUP [e.g Japanese] parent Salvage Their Children from being lost culturally. Check
    Amazing Tips for Immigrant Parents for more details.

  • masterman300

    koichi 1 question you answered of mine earlier i still don't get what is wordpress and how do you host on a private server email me this information please at ulgyman337@hotmail.com

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    That's why I occasionally teach 10+ hour classes on this subject :)

    Quick answer 1:
    1. Get hosting (Dreamhost, bluehost, doreo, etc)
    2. Install wordpress (they usually have directions or an installer).

    Quick answer 2:
    1. Don't get hosting
    2. Host on http://wordpress.com (and follow their directions, though it's super easy)

  • No78

    I also bathe at night, am I cool now?

  • sleepytako

    I LOLed about this one: “There are #$#$%ing Gigantic Hornets”

    Seriously. Those things can KILL you. I can understand how like the 1st level enemies in RPGs are steroid ridden bugs like that now.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Very. Hoopy Frood Cool.

  • http://gakuranman.com Michael

    Cheers for all the link heat Mr. Fugu! Here in Britain we have 3 1/2 seasons, or thereabouts.

    P.S You night-bathers should be bound up in clingfilm and slapped with a wet fish!

  • nadiya_01

    i heard that in japan its ok for girls to grab other girls breasts… but guys cant do that to girls, and girls cant do it to guys…. is that really true? o.o

  • masterman300

    tanks but i'm 12 and i set it up but am having a little trouble posting stuff

  • http://www.facebook.com/hepkess Tony Kessler

    Those bees are called “tsubame bachi” or literally Sparrow Bees. One came in my house, I didn't want to kill it, but I couldn't get near it. I vacuumed it up, then released it. You gotta respect something that big. I lived in Kyushu and I saw my cat playing in the corner. I thought it was a mouse. It was a 7 inch centipede that could jump about 2 feet straight up! (that was creepy) For easy posting, check out Squido.com and Blogspot at Google. WordPress is cool, but it intimidates me. I don't feel good enough. Squido really makes it easy.

  • Sougen02

    Hm, I was raised to bathe at night too. I find it odd that some people only take a shower in the morning. But hey, cultural differences xD
    And the vending machines sounds GREAT! That needs to come over the the USA!
    (besides the nasty stuff).

  • Sougen02

    Sounds like it's pretty much the same in the USA. I See that happening. Usually friend though, mind you xD.

  • http://muddle.nl/ Galerius

    What about the TV shows in Japan? It's completely different than any other show you have seen in any other country.

  • Anonymous

    This is hilarious. There are other “Ten Things About Japan” around the nets but this is one of the funniest. Having lived in Touhoku Japan for the past year, I know exactly what you're talking about. However, the four seasons thing isn't exclusively Japan. I lived in Northeasten US where there are 4 seasons too. 5 if you count mud season. I think one of the craziest things about Japan is their fashion sense. Boys looking like girls ('gyaru-o') and girls wearing the weirdest outfits (cosplay, lolita).

  • http://www.japanesewords.net/ Japanese Words

    Great article. I am still shocked when friends are shocked that other places have 4 seasons.

  • joe99987

    The author is annoying

  • http://twitter.com/FriedToast FriedToast

    The 4 seasons post is tongue-in-cheek. Of course there are four seasons elsewhere. It's just that the Japanese people (for some unfathomable reason) seem to think that ONLY Japan is capable of having 4 distinct seasons. No, not everyone's that dense over here, but you would seriously be surprised at how many adults *believe* that.

  • masterman300

    never mind i got it

  • Skippy

    Number 11 an ancient and bizarre tradition in Japan. Bukkake! Gotta love their creativity.

  • Onos T'oolan

    From text:”Japan is the only place with four distinct seasons”.Man you are complete idiot:)Check your info before you post something.What about Serbia, Romania, Greece, Bulgaria….I'm bulgarian so i know .Perhaps you should go back to school :)We steady this in third grade:))

  • http://chimera.fragiled.net Ria

    Bwahahaha!!! What an awesome read. Made my day =D

  • kimiko_Chan

    I love Japanese commercials! I always though they funny!
    And they are also cute!!

    I agree with you with the showers at night, I think it's better because you get to go to bed clean!

    And the bending machines, omg that is one reason why I always wanted to go to Japan! xD

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  • http://en-gb.facebook.com/xjenni Jennifer Walker

    Well I thought England had four seasons… I must be mistaken! I also have been raised to bathe at night rather than in the morning (mainly… for time reasons.)

    I always thought how crazy… ahem… I mean different it is that Japan eat KFC for Christmas. XD

    I also think I want to go to Japan JUST for those vending machines. omgtheyareawesome.

    I love Japanese adverts… I'm glad for some reason England are getting a few… like the “Pocky” one, but that's used for the English version “Mikado”. It's good to see cultures coming together. :)

  • Jessie

    HAHAHAHA, lol, all of this is so true, it made me laugh to realise the craziness when it's laid out like that! Great post, I love this site, keep up the good work!

  • Name

    You've got your facts wrong. Korea is the country with four distinct seasons – even more distinct than Japan.
    Hence one of the reasons they invaded the country.

  • Name

    “5. Japanese novels remind me of LSD: Enough said?”

    Uh, no. “Nuff said” only works when the audience already understands the reference from personal experience. Could we get a little more info?

  • so

    you forget to tell that most restaurants have a plastic version of the meals….so…you can see form the street what kind of disehes they serve….weeeird!!

  • masterman300

    thanks koichi

  • Felicia

    Japan is the best place to visit! The baths at night are wonderful and I second the comment about the books. I think everyone should plan a trip there:
    http://www.ranker.com/list/places-to-see-before

  • Jessie

    Is Koichi referring to Haruki Murakami novels by any chance? ;)

  • Rich T.

    I think, since that Nihonjinron article was linked, that that wasn't meant to be taken literally. Rather, it could have been meant to show the impact of the Nihonjinron on Japanese culture.

    … or, at least I hope that wasn't serious…

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Japan is also a country that tends to lack the ability to detect sarcasm – perhaps you're in a country like that too?

  • Mah

    That “crazy thing” was actually about Nihonjinron and not the fours seasons. Imagine that the first sentence isn't bolded and read it again. :3

  • Name

    ahhh yes KANCHO!!! although back in my day it was punching each other in the balls times have changed.

  • m foster

    About the baths,we in Jamaica raised have two baths per day,sometimes three ! Also a bath,just before bed is wonderful.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anupama-Ramana/528081822 Anupama Ramana

    hmmm interesting

  • http://twitter.com/JCR_odriguez Julio Rodriguez

    The video on the bees is narrated by Solid Snake….classic.

  • fudgie

    We call those “fudgies” down this end of the world (South Africa)

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Grosss! haha.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Seriously? That's pretty sweet.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    That's sweet! I'm all for 2-3 baths a day.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    I'm pretty sure that's still around, though I think you're right, kancho is now the more “popular” way of doing it, haha.

  • http://inventorspot.com/writers/steve_levenstein WordsnCollision

    Congrats, this post made the front page of Digg earlier today – the traffic boost might have knocked your server out temporarily :o)

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Thanks WordsnCollision! I saw that you posted it and got a screenshot much appreciated! You rule!

    It was down for around 45 minutes and then I upped my server resources which thankfully did the trick. Whew, and here I thought I had made the blog “digg-proof,” which failed miserably, haha.

    Thanks again!

  • http://inventorspot.com/writers/steve_levenstein WordsnCollision

    Hey no problem Koichi, i'm often checking out Tofugu for topic sources
    anyway and when i saw the “10 Best” post had a link to my Mayonnaise
    Kitchen article, well, the little light-bulb went off. Tofugu is my
    leading traffic source today, woo-hoo!

    So, just returning the favor and it's my pleasure to do so. Could happen
    again some time, ya never know ;o)

    ..Steve

  • http://www.japaninmotion.com/ japaninmotion

    ah yes the four seasons….wow you're from Chicago? does Chicago has four seasons like Japan? well if you're going to compare a whole country to a city I guess yes….but I live in tokyo and in the winter things grow. . You have winter flowers and vegis….in Chicago…hell i try not to go cuz of the ball shattering cold. I think it snowed once last winter and the snow never stuck. They are f…ing retarded bout this shitty question

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  • gray

    Well this article was posted on a Japanese news website and they interpreted it as “foreigners amazed that Japan is the only country with four seasons.” Talk about misinterpretation to their favor…

  • Zhana :]

    What exactly are you talking about? o.O
    Where are you getting this Chicago business? If you're talking about Koichi, as far as I know, I don't think he's even from Chicago. Not that I would know. Cuz im not a stalker or anything >_>

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  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    Yeah, the Chicago thing confuses me too, haha.

  • aarond10ster

    Just stumbled across this and it made me laugh and think back a bit..

    Theres a really cool monkey park in Arashiyama, Kyoto if anyone's interested. No hot springs there but they do a feeding session at lunch time and there are literally hundreds of the little critters running around.

    Excuse the shameless self promotion but I also just uploaded my first “taste of japan” story as well that has a few interesting, yet annoying things I'm guessing others will either relate to or be interested in: http://www.aarondrew.com/blog/2009/08/28/ineffi

  • ren

    I'm a U.S. ex-pat in Tokyo and these are my observations of things I find strange about Tokyo, Japan.

    ) Tokyo doesn't have sidewalks on every street. It is very dangerous as the police in no way enforces traffic safety. I'm talking about drivers running red lights, speeding around young people walking or riding a bike, and other dangerous activity. There was just an election and nobody seemed to think this was a problem — though 3 children were killed by speeding cars just last month. In some areas, to atone for the death of a pedestrian there are large sidewalks on both sides of the street with barriers. Tokyo seriously needs standardization of sidewalks. Nothing fancy, just a white line wide enough for a single bike or walker to get through and a cheap green bar every 2 meters to discourage speeders. This is an affordable solution and will actually create more driving space in many areas while keeping kids safe.

    ) Tokyo is great because of its ban of firearms. However, some very bitter salary men and older women are openly hostile to everyone because they know they are not likely to be shot. Constant drunkenness here is considered to be a part of the culture. And people often ignore the harassment of people just trying to get home from work by seriously inebriated assholes who secretly want to die because they have no dreams.

    ) Many people in Tokyo just shower. But they shower at night. It just doesn't make sense if you're sweating in the heat of summer while having sex. You can distinctly smell this on the train every morning.

    ) People in Tokyo don't believe in vegetables. Unless you are eating Wa-Fu, a Japanese traditional meal, then you get maybe 5 pieces of a vegetable on your plate.

    ) Chicken breast meat isn't popular in Tokyo. Chicken just isn't very popular unless it is fatty and on a stick.

    ) Many Japanese people, especially older people like poor food. Lots of rotten mayonnaise, rotten eggs, baloney, fatty bacon, or deep fried “tonkatsu” crap.

    ) Actually Manga and Anime is not popular at all with mainstream Tokyo. The opinion is that people who like these things are still immature. Adult Manga and Anime is Akiba-Ke. Akihabara, Tokyo Style — not cool.

    ) Onsen or Hot Springs would be better if everyone could wear a bathing suit and both men and women could sit together in the hot bath. I don't know about you but I don't like to sit around and watch naked men get in and out. I enjoy the healing volcanic water though.

    All in all, I am quite happy living in Tokyo. These are mostly silly complaints. I've got National Medical Insurance even though I am a foreign national. I don't have to worry about guns. Families are happy and thriving here. Employees are still being paid survivable wages. There is still respect between executives and operations workers. The good list goes on and on.

  • mikimiki

    Actually, they are made of wax!

  • mikimiki

    Sadly, not so many Hot Spring places allow their customers wear swimming suits. I think why not. My friends did not want to go to hot springs only for that reason. I really wanted to enjoy Japanese-style hotel with hot springs with them.

    In most hot springs, there are women only and men only bathrooms, so don't worry if you do not want to see naked men; you won't see them. However, you need to be careful: some hot spring hotels switch bathrooms for women to for men and vice versa because they think the customers should enjoy the hot springs in different settings. For example, only one room has the window with water-fall view, only one room has the connection to the outside hot springs, and so on.

    Tokyo has hot springs, but I recommend the ones in Tochigi and Gunma prefecture. They have hundreds of hot springs. Hope you can enjoy it!

    Oh! I forgot to mention about sex and shower. Of course, Japanese people that I know of at least take shower after having sex. If not, I need to emigrate to another country. Having sex and going to work without shower sounds totally disgusting, really.

    Anyways, a bath tub is not the place to clean your body in Japan. You need to wash your body with soap and rinse off the soap throughly before you can get into the bath tub. Bath tub is the place to relax. You cannot move a lot inside the tub anyway, because the water temperature is usually above the body temperature. (So, there will be no grown-ups swimming in hot springs, though many children try.)

  • mikimiki

    There are vending machines for eggs and flowers. I found both of them in my rural town.

  • http://www.yourimage2canvas.co.uk/ canvas prints

    This made me laugh when i read this post, great article, great site, keep it up

  • Urgh

    Mikado is freaking addictive. I actually prefer it to Pocky o//o

  • JDillon911

    I don't think many people have commented on the picture at the top “Japan: enough said”
    tbh I think it looks liek the guy (o.O) is trying to explain the birth of teletubbies?? :O!

  • http://blogdesignmonster.com/p/2/nan desing

    australia has 4 seasons:
    -bloody hot
    -not so hot
    -too cold
    -getting too warm again

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  • JackiJinx

    So those, um, hornets. Are they a common site? Because I have a very strong fear of bees, especially wasps. I'm not allergic, but those suckers really scare me.

  • tetsusnipple

    Haha the picture is from Naisu no Mori, right? That is totally the weirdest movie ever.

  • http://www.joshuazimmerman.com/ Joshua Zimmerman

    A country that has amazing bullet trains has yet to invent smoke detectors.

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  • http://twitter.com/AnnabellePanic Anne Phan

    AHA. I shower at night too. But I'm Asian,so I guess it's pretty normal.

  • meiji

    From what I've heard, the weird part is not that they have hornets from hell, but how calm they are about it.

    I knew some friends who were out in the countryside in Japan, and the locals said “If you get stung, you need to get to the hospital within an hour!” “OK, where's the hospital?” “About 2 hours away…”

  • meiji

    From what I've heard, the weird part is not that they have hornets from hell, but how calm they are about it.

    I knew some friends who were out in the countryside in Japan, and the locals said “If you get stung, you need to get to the hospital within an hour!” “OK, where's the hospital?” “About 2 hours away…”

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  • http://mistersanity.blogspot.com Jonadab

    Personally, I don’t think kancho is really much weirder or worse than wedgies and swirlies and so on. Kids do mean things to each other all over the world, yo.

    Mayonnaise, ugh. Then again, in North America it has in the last ten years or so become increasingly difficult to find food that’s safe to eat at carry in dinners and similar functions, because everyone wants to slather everything in sour cream or put cream cheese in the icing, both of which are a good deal nastier than mayonnaise. I mean, there are a couple of foods containing mayonnaise that I actually like to eat (most notably deviled eggs), so it’s not totally toxic like sour cream. I still don’t want it on my pizza, though.

    When I was a kid, I took a bath at night… once a week, on Saturday. As an adult, with active sweat glands, I find it necessary to shower shortly before going to work, whatever time of day that happens to be, especially in the summer time. If I’m going in to work at 12:30, I shower at 11:45. If I were to shower first thing in the morning (let alone the night before), I’d need a shower again before work.

    I can ignore hornets, and they’ll basically leave me alone. It’s mosquitos I worry about, because they’re out for blood — literally. Does Japan have bad mosquitos?

    I don’t think the perversion of Christmas in Japan (where nearly everyone is Buddhist or Shintoist or somesuch anyway, so you can’t expect them to care) would bother me in the same way it does in America, where 95% of Christians, who ought to be outraged, just go happily right along with it.

  • Grif

    general i just think of japan as a countrey full of perverted buiness men and leav it at that

  • Christoff

    wow, I completely forgot about the killer bees. I remember, I also hitch hiked in Japan, and one particular time it was from a few college students who happened to invite me to smoke a pipe with them (I’m guessing this is extremely rare in Japan, and don’t look down on me, I rarely do this). Later, while a little happy and full from some bombdalicious food I don’t know the name of, I became intrigued by this gnarly looking bug on the ground. The students freaked and yelled it’ll kill me, as they ran away. It was seriously huge. Don’t mess with them!

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  • April_unlimited

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  • http://twitter.com/21tigermike Michael A. Robson

    Japan is the only place with four distinct seasons.  

    진짜? 와하하하!!!.. 여기에 한국사람들이 없는데요?? ㅎㅎㅎㅎ

  • TimAteMyDoritos

    I’m pretty sure Bulgaria’s Climate isn’t standard issue in 3rd grade History. And it is “study” not “steady.” Perhaps you should go back to school. We learned that in first grade :)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/sanu.saha2 Sanu Saha

    Thanx 4 Sharing the Facts