A year or two ago, Japanese square shaped watermelon were big in the news. Not only were they easier to ship, but they were more expensive too, and that catches anyone’s attention. Today, I read an article over at Megaijin, that talked about triangular shaped watermelon (even more expensive, but more difficult to ship, I imagine). This sparked my interest, so I decided to dive a little deeper. You’ll be amazed at the weird watermelon-related things I’ve come across!
First, let’s take a look at the original strange Japanese watermelon: “The Cube.” This was an expensive solution to the difficulty that people had putting a big round watermelon in their refrigerator (why refrigerate, though, I say eat it all!).
Supposedly, only around a 1000 of these are produced in a year, though I feel like that number may have increased. It’s garnered notoriety amongst the rich (as well as several visiting political figures), and is pretty darn expensive. As you can see above, 2008 version goes for around $119 USD, which is cheap compared to some of the other watermelons we’re going to get into. Who knows how much shipping will cost you. Here’s another photo, from Choo.
I really wonder how the square watermelons taste. Is it just the novelty of the shape that’s selling them, or are they particularly juicy? Either way, if I was Scrooge McDuck I’d definitely replace my simming pool of gold coins.
Oh yeahh, check out those photoshop skillz (sarcasm)
Heart Shaped Watermelon
So now we get a little more expensive, and a lot more useless. I suppose this could shape up (haha, get it?) to be an expensive romantic gift of some sort, but I think buying a week’s worth of baseball tickets would be more fun.
A heart-shaped watermelon will run you around $237 USD, a price that will end up breaking your…you know. I’d suggest saving your money and spending it on UFO catchers.
Pyramid and Triangle Shaped Watermelon
Now, here’s where I get a little confused. Let’s start with the Triangle shaped watermelon, because, apparently, there’s some sort of big difference between triangle and pyramid shapes. Aren’t they just different words for triangle?
These “triangle watermelon” will run you the same as a heart watermelon, around $237 USD. I’m not sure what the purpose of these watermelon are, besides the novelty. Square watermelons, sure, they ship nicer and are easier to put in the fridge. Triangle watermelon? They just seem hard to ship and hard to eat.
Now, how about the pyramid shaped ones? From what I can see, they are almost exactly the same. The only difference? The ridiculous price.
Ever considered paying $950 USD for a watermelon? Well, now’s your chance. They only make a few of these a year (which, I suppose, is why the price is so high?), and they look like crummier versions of the triangle watermelon, at least to my untrained watermelon eye. I dunno, what do you think? They better taste better, that’s for sure.
Face Shaped Watermelon
Here’s the one that you all came for. This is the most ridiculous watermelon I’ve ever seen, and I would never be alone in a dark room with this one.
This face-watermelon will cost you $475 USD, but, I mean, c’mon, it’s a face! It even has glasses on and a big smile, so you feel good when you eat through half your month’s rent. It’s a smile that says…”it’s okay, I still love you…even though you’re a dumb knee-biter for buying me.”
Looks like this one has a Hitler mustache!
How are these Watermelon Made?
Well, the face one is a secret process, apparently. Though it follows the same basic rules as the others. All they do is put a glass / plastic container around the small, baby watermelon, and it grows into the shape it’s put into. Cube shaped is put into a cube container, triangle into a triangle container, etc. They do something extra fancy with the Hitler face though, but they aren’t willing to taddle their secrets.
If you’d like to get one of these watermelon for yourself, you can actually get them shipped to you overseas (maybe). Check out Rakuten’s Art Suika page and look for the English section somewhere in the middle. You might be able to order your own overpriced watermelon if you email them.
Vocab for this Article
Something I thought I’d try to do, since this is a website about learning Japanese culture and language. We’re going to include some vocabulary at the end of every news / culture related article to give you a chance to sponge some Japanese vocabulary as well. I mean, why not, right?