How to not talk like a Japanese Transvestite (or a boy/girl)

japanese transvestite

!!! Hey! View the updated version of this post in our guides section: Japanese Gendered Language

Learning to speak Japanese doesn’t get any easier. Right when you think honorifics make sense (which will never happen), you suddenly realize you’re not speaking like your own gender, which is usually a big surprise because nobody tells you about this for a really long time. So here I am, telling you that you need to think about your gender when you are speaking Japanese. It’s really not that tough at all, and yet, since 90% of Japanese teachers in America are women, 90% of students end up learning women’s Japanese. By clicking through you’ll be able to see a video, some of the history behind this, and a chart that plainly lays out women’s/men’s language for you. Here’s to making things easy (clink!).

Women’s language didn’t actually truly come into being until the start of the Meiji era. With modernization came more schooling. With more schooling came more girls going to school. All sorts of classes mixed, and even the previously lower class merchant daughters went to school. It was pretty crazy, let me tell you. These students began shortening honorifics (i.e. でございます –> です), adding funny things to the ends of their sentences (i.e. 行く–> 行くわよ), and plain old talking weird. Japanese male intellects of the time cringed in pain whenever they heard this evil, culture defiling language. Think Valley Girl of Meiji Era Japan.

Eventually, this language became accepted. These girls eventually became the norm, and advertisements started catering to this single group of people. Rural girls who came to Tokyo thought this was how the “city girl” talked, and they copied it. Soon male intellects were justifying the language, saying it had a rich Japanese history and tradition, which never really existed. This form of speech became “Japanese.”

Today in Japan, there is a lot of worry that women are losing this “traditional” (not) women’s language. Women are speaking more like men (which was pretty much always the case before this phenomenon started) and there are “rougher” speaking women. Still, even this is the minority. Japanese men and women still speak differently. That is why it’s important for you to know the difference.

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That right there is another 30 reasons why you should be studying harder. For your enjoyment only, here’s a video of me acting like an idiot (while still talking about this subject). Enjoy!


Please note that I totally miss on the Meiji Era date. It is mid-1800s, not early. Oops.

*update* On a final note, it’s always important to note that there is some crossover. It’s not a bad, bad, naughty thing to use the opposite gendered speak patterns – most of the time it will be brushed over and ignored. It is only when people (often those taught by female teachers) use opposite gendered speech patterns all the time. Feel free to “cross over” once in a while. Feel free to pinch hit for the other team. People do it all the time. Still, you should try to avoid going over there on a consistent basis…only then do people notice how strangely you speak.

 

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  • http://mixi.jp/show_profile.pl?id=11337433 buririn

    Please stop by Japanese Class in college and get this through the heads of the 35 year old men in sneakers and socks that are always saying, “atashi wa…”

  • http://mixi.jp/show_profile.pl?id=11337433 buririn

    Please stop by Japanese Class in college and get this through the heads of the 35 year old men in sneakers and socks that are always saying, “atashi wa…”

  • Secrets Secrets Are No Fun

    sooo what about a gay guy or a lesbian? do they talk in the reverse way (i.e. gay guys saying “高いの” instead of “高いんだ”)? i’m asking this legitimately, by the way; i don’t mean to imply that all gays are feminine acting. but, in general, in Japan, how does that work?

  • Secrets Secrets Are No Fun

    sooo what about a gay guy or a lesbian? do they talk in the reverse way (i.e. gay guys saying “高いの” instead of “高いんだ”)? i’m asking this legitimately, by the way; i don’t mean to imply that all gays are feminine acting. but, in general, in Japan, how does that work?

  • Entron

    Are you gay, Secrets? Lol.

  • Justin

    Question:
    My two japanese friends, who happen to be guys, are always emphasizing the girliness of my japanese, so this really helps…but my question is; Is there a difference between speaking “like a guy” and speaking like a “tough” guy? In speaking like a “guy” are you automatically tough sounding…or is there a level above that? The only variations I know are of “watashi” with “ore” being the “tough” substitute.

    What’s the deal?

    Thanks!

  • Entron

    Are you gay, Secrets? Lol.

  • Justin

    Question:
    My two japanese friends, who happen to be guys, are always emphasizing the girliness of my japanese, so this really helps…but my question is; Is there a difference between speaking “like a guy” and speaking like a “tough” guy? In speaking like a “guy” are you automatically tough sounding…or is there a level above that? The only variations I know are of “watashi” with “ore” being the “tough” substitute.

    What’s the deal?

    Thanks!

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    Entron:

    Let’s be adults, here.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    Entron:

    Let’s be adults, here.

  • Kof

    well im glad to find this topic.
    I always felt more appealed to attaching da and such at the end of sentences even though I never found any page like this describing its more masculine. Usually this ended up me correcting myself without the da part at the end, glad to know I dont have to anymore :)

  • Kof

    well im glad to find this topic.
    I always felt more appealed to attaching da and such at the end of sentences even though I never found any page like this describing its more masculine. Usually this ended up me correcting myself without the da part at the end, glad to know I dont have to anymore :)

  • Rei

    I agree with megaman…Please consider providing the chart in romanji ?

  • Rei

    I agree with megaman…Please consider providing the chart in romanji ?

  • http://www.koichiben.com koichi

    I don’t mean to be harsh or anything, but really you shouldn’t be worrying about anything said in this article until quite a ways after you are able to read and write, so I think focusing on that first is your main priority at the moment.

  • http://www.koichiben.com koichi

    I don’t mean to be harsh or anything, but really you shouldn’t be worrying about anything said in this article until quite a ways after you are able to read and write, so I think focusing on that first is your main priority at the moment.

  • Lica

    Thanks for your advice, if you ever wrote a book, id be the first to buy!

    im a girl, and learn japanese from a girl. so i think im all good.

    anyways, ill be visiting your site more =)

    PEACE

  • Lica

    Thanks for your advice, if you ever wrote a book, id be the first to buy!

    im a girl, and learn japanese from a girl. so i think im all good.

    anyways, ill be visiting your site more =)

    PEACE

  • Mugen

    Konichi wa
    Watashi wa Geoffrey dess, yoroshiku onegaishimass !!!
    Dude you’re defenitly funny enough to be a comedian,
    the segata sanchiro stuff was/is hilarious ( other stuff as well)
    I’m actually from the netherlands and trying to become a manga-ka.
    So was kinda wondering if you had tips for us (i’m writing/drawing the stories with my best friend)
    If you could do something like a do/don’t kinda thinking about creating manga/getting in tha industry would be awesome.
    If you have time dough that would be great.

    And keep up tha good work,it’s REALLY helpfull while learning japanese :D

  • Mugen

    Konichi wa
    Watashi wa Geoffrey dess, yoroshiku onegaishimass !!!
    Dude you’re defenitly funny enough to be a comedian,
    the segata sanchiro stuff was/is hilarious ( other stuff as well)
    I’m actually from the netherlands and trying to become a manga-ka.
    So was kinda wondering if you had tips for us (i’m writing/drawing the stories with my best friend)
    If you could do something like a do/don’t kinda thinking about creating manga/getting in tha industry would be awesome.
    If you have time dough that would be great.

    And keep up tha good work,it’s REALLY helpfull while learning japanese :D

  • Sougen02

    So how can you avoid speaking ‘girlish’ Japanese? Are the majority of text books, online studying sites and such in ‘girlish’ Japanese? Where (site) or what (text books) mightI use to not fall into this? =P

  • Sougen02

    So how can you avoid speaking ‘girlish’ Japanese? Are the majority of text books, online studying sites and such in ‘girlish’ Japanese? Where (site) or what (text books) mightI use to not fall into this? =P

  • http://www.myspace.com/tokyo_boii_777 KENJI

    lol i only try to speak male, but its hard… i just cant do it!!! i was tought the girly way i assume T_T

  • http://www.myspace.com/tokyo_boii_777 KENJI

    lol i only try to speak male, but its hard… i just cant do it!!! i was tought the girly way i assume T_T

  • Jess

    うぇ! それなら、私がずっそずっと男らしく話したんでしょうね。日本人の友達は男の人なんだけど、そんなこと全然言わなかったんです。ひどいでしょう。
    「だろう」と言いたかったですが、正しいのは「でしょう」と思いますが…(私が女の人からです)

  • Jess

    うぇ! それなら、私がずっそずっと男らしく話したんでしょうね。日本人の友達は男の人なんだけど、そんなこと全然言わなかったんです。ひどいでしょう。
    「だろう」と言いたかったですが、正しいのは「でしょう」と思いますが…(私が女の人からです)

  • yasutake noriyuki

    you chart is it from the japan time’s text “an intergrated text to intermediate japanese” by any chance?

  • yasutake noriyuki

    you chart is it from the japan time’s text “an intergrated text to intermediate japanese” by any chance?

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    could be. I just have something typed up by my teacher, and added a few as well.

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    could be. I just have something typed up by my teacher, and added a few as well.

  • Taya

    um… I got told she was teaching me the most formal japanese… is it still gender-specific??

  • Taya

    um… I got told she was teaching me the most formal japanese… is it still gender-specific??

  • Bella

    “Dare a girl to use Ore”? I would! Lol I’m that kinda tomboy that would try it…probably would be labeled the obnoxious gender-confused american gaijin girl but hey, why not?

  • Bella

    “Dare a girl to use Ore”? I would! Lol I’m that kinda tomboy that would try it…probably would be labeled the obnoxious gender-confused american gaijin girl but hey, why not?

  • Kurohana

    How come the girl in Ouran Highschool Host Club (the anime, tho I do not learn Japanese by anime, i know a fair amount to understand things here and there) Haruhi, the girl pretending to be a boy, was using Chibun as “I” and I found that so weird!

    She’d be like, “Chibun wa, anata ni au tameni koko ni kita” and stuff like that. She never used Atashi or Watashi, not even Boku or Ore. Chibun! wtf? Maybe its the false subtitles, I really don’t know.

    Anyways, interesting info here!

  • Kurohana

    How come the girl in Ouran Highschool Host Club (the anime, tho I do not learn Japanese by anime, i know a fair amount to understand things here and there) Haruhi, the girl pretending to be a boy, was using Chibun as “I” and I found that so weird!

    She’d be like, “Chibun wa, anata ni au tameni koko ni kita” and stuff like that. She never used Atashi or Watashi, not even Boku or Ore. Chibun! wtf? Maybe its the false subtitles, I really don’t know.

    Anyways, interesting info here!

  • ブライアん

    すごい おまえ これ は いいですね good as example ^_^ and to think that your from washington just like me man koichiben i started learning Japanese on my own 1 year ago and i had some help with all the おれ and わたし and how ぼく or おれ is what i should use i am in college now for Japanese and some other stuff and all i hear is わたし because is a female teacher haaha lol but you and your transvestite play was the best thank god i dont sound like that lol keep up the good work

  • ryan

    the main problem here is that most of the guys learning Japanese (at least in the U.S.) actually are transvestites and boy/girls. this becomes very clear reading these comments. the otaku freaks dressed up like sailor moon are going to be offended by this comment. but you would by lying to yourselves if you said you didnt know what i was talking about. japan has a higher tolerance for guys acting efeminite, so that's what they get. sorry japan, really. i swear there are actual men in our country who dont prance around like bambi.

  • Robo-panda

    Kurohana, I think you mean “Jibun” or 自分 which means oneself/ myself. so that sentence would be “自分は、あなたに会うために、ここに来た” ”By myself, I came here to meet you” or something to that tone (sorry for the awkward translation>.<)

  • http://www.japanesepod101.com/ Jessi

    Thanks for this! I think this is really important to keep in mind when learning Japanese.

    The funny thing about the infamous 'wa' particle in women's speech is that in dramas and movies you'll hear it used by women of all ages all the time, but in real life I've only ever heard older women (maybe 50+) use it . I'm a female in my 20s, but I know my friends would find it weird if I suddenly started using 'wa' at the end of my sentences. A lot of the other examples I hear used a lot, though.

    And as some other people have pointed out, it definitely goes the other way, too! If a girl hangs out with a lot of guys or watches too much Gokusen or something, she should be careful about what kind of Japanese she picks up XD

  • http://www.japanesepod101.com/ Jessi

    I'm not all that familiar with the show, but wasn't using “jibun” probably the whole point? Use the gender-neutral pronoun so that no one could tell either way.

  • Franzeska

    I'm with Jessi on this. My teachers told us to avoid 'wa' even though it was all over the place in our textbook dialogues. Obviously, I agree with your overall message here, but do you have any thoughts specifically on 'wa', Koichi?

  • http://www.tofugu.com koichi

    I agree with you totally – textbooks overuse it! Either they need to stop or
    there needs to be explanation somewhere! Your teachers sound good, though!

  • Franzeska

    Can't beat the Middlebury summer program! (Well, aside from the price…)

  • miku

    it just shows the boxes being filled with question marks on my screen

  • miku

    it just shows ? on my screen in the boxes

  • miku

    oh it works now

  • miku

    it just shows the boxes being filled with question marks on my screen

  • miku

    it just shows ? on my screen in the boxes

  • miku

    oh it works now