ウルトラローライズデニムビキニパンツ (Ho Pants)

by 181 Comments

Hey ladies! Running out of ways to tell men “I’m available and easy”? Got a festering wound on your lower hip that needs to be aired out? Can’t think of a birthday gift for your great aunt Melba? Well, allow me to introduce you to the product of the unholy union of Brazil and Japan: Ultra Low-Rise Denim Bikini Pants (9,240 円, about $75)! Intrigued? Horrified? Bear with me.

ウルトラローライズデニムビキニパンツ

These jeans aren’t held up with buttons or belts, but with two little strings and maybe some double-sided tape. The “bikini” portion stops just short of your woman (or man, if you’re extra-daring) parts, exposing a good third of your ass. What this means is that no real underwear can be worn with these pants… but if you’re the kind who would buy these, chances are good that you don’t wear underwear in the first place. Also, notice the zipper. It’s not in the front, as that would make too much sense, but on the side, allowing for an extra couple inches of visible skin.

Sadly, there are no pockets in these jeans, but no worries! Stuff a wad of cash in your bra and stick your car keys down next to your crotch–you’ll be good to go because you’re just that classy.

Is my absolute hatred of these jeans apparent yet?

Hopefully my sarcasm is as overtly blunt as I think it is, because honestly, Ultra Low-Rise Denim Bikini Pants are an affront to all woman-kind. If I saw a woman walking around in these I would punch her in the ovaries (which would be, conveniently, visible).

Picture Source: Sanna’s Brazil Fashion

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  • http://rizkypuji.livejournal.com miya

    何でやねん!!
    is there anybody really THINK of buying those pants?
    ewww gross XS

    I love japanese quirky and one of a kind fashion sense.. but this is soooooo~ ….
    (i cant find an appropriate word to describe my feeling here, help me?)

  • http://rizkypuji.livejournal.com miya

    何でやねん!!
    is there anybody really THINK of buying those pants?
    ewww gross XS

    I love japanese quirky and one of a kind fashion sense.. but this is soooooo~ ….
    (i cant find an appropriate word to describe my feeling here, help me?)

  • Tyler

    Those pants look gay! Do men wear them too?

  • Tyler

    Those pants look gay! Do men wear them too?

  • Tyler

    Those pants look gay! Do men wear them too?

  • Danielle

    I’d love to see a man wearing them.

  • Danielle

    I’d love to see a man wearing them.

  • Danielle

    I’d love to see a man wearing them.

  • ArtDecoDalek

    Boy, this post is a perfect confluence of simple-minded moralizing and arrogant cooler-than-thou posturing! Good job on that.

  • ArtDecoDalek

    Boy, this post is a perfect confluence of simple-minded moralizing and arrogant cooler-than-thou posturing! Good job on that.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    While there’s no real moralizing here, and I would call it classier-than-thou posturing, thanks all the same. I always like readers who put together pretty sentences.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    While there’s no real moralizing here, and I would call it classier-than-thou posturing, thanks all the same. I always like readers who put together pretty sentences.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    While there’s no real moralizing here, and I would call it classier-than-thou posturing, thanks all the same. I always like readers who put together pretty sentences.

  • http://zionviller.deviantart.com Zionviller

    Considering how often I see girls wearing skirts over jeans in Japan, they’re not soo bad..

  • http://zionviller.deviantart.com Zionviller

    Considering how often I see girls wearing skirts over jeans in Japan, they’re not soo bad..

  • http://zionviller.deviantart.com Zionviller

    Considering how often I see girls wearing skirts over jeans in Japan, they’re not soo bad..

  • 巧

    i almost died when i read “i’d punch her in the ovaries”. （　＾　▽　＾　）ハハハ

  • 巧

    i almost died when i read “i’d punch her in the ovaries”. （　＾　▽　＾　）ハハハ

  • 巧

    i almost died when i read “i’d punch her in the ovaries”. （　＾　▽　＾　）ハハハ

  • angela

    thats disgusting!

  • angela

    thats disgusting!

  • angela

    thats disgusting!

  • lala

    eew

  • lala

    eew

  • lala

    eew

  • lonna

    wow~ That is defiantly interesting…
    I just hate to think of the people that shouldn’t wear these jeans. You know people on the *cough* larger side on the spectrum.

  • lonna

    wow~ That is defiantly interesting…
    I just hate to think of the people that shouldn’t wear these jeans. You know people on the *cough* larger side on the spectrum.

  • lonna

    wow~ That is defiantly interesting…
    I just hate to think of the people that shouldn’t wear these jeans. You know people on the *cough* larger side on the spectrum.

  • Robert

    I think it depends on what kind of girl is wearing them…I think on a slim,shapely gal ,they would look oh so HOT….on a fuller figured one,not so….Just because a girl likes unique sexy clothing does not make her a “Ho”….It’s one’s actions that make one bad not one’s clothes….I do think that a girl would attract a guy wearing some sexy jeans like that…but as long as he treats her with respect …so what? I think most guys LOVE being attracted by pretty girls in sexy clothes…

  • Robert

    I think it depends on what kind of girl is wearing them…I think on a slim,shapely gal ,they would look oh so HOT….on a fuller figured one,not so….Just because a girl likes unique sexy clothing does not make her a “Ho”….It’s one’s actions that make one bad not one’s clothes….I do think that a girl would attract a guy wearing some sexy jeans like that…but as long as he treats her with respect …so what? I think most guys LOVE being attracted by pretty girls in sexy clothes…

  • Robert

    I think it depends on what kind of girl is wearing them…I think on a slim,shapely gal ,they would look oh so HOT….on a fuller figured one,not so….Just because a girl likes unique sexy clothing does not make her a “Ho”….It’s one’s actions that make one bad not one’s clothes….I do think that a girl would attract a guy wearing some sexy jeans like that…but as long as he treats her with respect …so what? I think most guys LOVE being attracted by pretty girls in sexy clothes…

  • Negi

    o_0 Wow… That’s just… revolting… >_< How can people actually like those? (Excluding men) D:

  • Negi

    o_0 Wow… That’s just… revolting… >_< How can people actually like those? (Excluding men) D:

  • Negi

    o_0 Wow… That’s just… revolting… >_< How can people actually like those? (Excluding men) D:

  • Bionca Jenkins

    excuse me young an old…. we should not b wearing anything that does not COVER ur GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS i dnt think that this is cute THIS IS UGLY who would actually wear that out i public this is a disgrace it degrades WOMEN if ur GAY DNT EVEN THINK PUTTING ANY GIRL ON EVEN IF ITS UR MOTHER’S SO STOPPPPPP GET A NEW IDEA AND DNT CUM UP WITH ANY JEAN BRAS OR THONGS

    THANK U

  • Bionca Jenkins

    excuse me young an old…. we should not b wearing anything that does not COVER ur GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS i dnt think that this is cute THIS IS UGLY who would actually wear that out i public this is a disgrace it degrades WOMEN if ur GAY DNT EVEN THINK PUTTING ANY GIRL ON EVEN IF ITS UR MOTHER’S SO STOPPPPPP GET A NEW IDEA AND DNT CUM UP WITH ANY JEAN BRAS OR THONGS

    THANK U

  • http://yes1comment Bionca Jenkins

    excuse me young an old…. we should not b wearing anything that does not COVER ur GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS i dnt think that this is cute THIS IS UGLY who would actually wear that out i public this is a disgrace it degrades WOMEN if ur GAY DNT EVEN THINK PUTTING ANY GIRL ON EVEN IF ITS UR MOTHER’S SO STOPPPPPP GET A NEW IDEA AND DNT CUM UP WITH ANY JEAN BRAS OR THONGS

    THANK U

  • japan-fan

    OMG
    has anybody bought any of these yet?
    that is soooooooo disgusting!!!
    i cant imagine how pervy the designer must be-yuk
    wth? instead of paying $75 it would be cheaper and less hassle to walk around in your underwear with a sign hanging around your neck reading: FRISK ME!

  • japan-fan

    OMG
    has anybody bought any of these yet?
    that is soooooooo disgusting!!!
    i cant imagine how pervy the designer must be-yuk
    wth? instead of paying $75 it would be cheaper and less hassle to walk around in your underwear with a sign hanging around your neck reading: FRISK ME!

  • Sarra

    eeeeeeeeeew totally silly !

  • Sarra

    eeeeeeeeeew totally silly !

  • skinisOK

    Come on people! I’m with supervixn on this one.

    If you’ve got the bod, what’s the problem?

  • skinisOK

    Come on people! I’m with supervixn on this one.

    If you’ve got the bod, what’s the problem?

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    skinisOK:

    Which is, I’m sure, exactly what the makers of these pants thought, too.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    skinisOK:

    Which is, I’m sure, exactly what the makers of these pants thought, too.

  • Titianna

    Tho, with these pants. I showed my hubby and roomate and both of them agreed that if it was being worn by a hot japanese woman. They’d stop and drool.
    …
    Men…Are all of them hentai that they all only think about is..well…sex? Well I guess that with THOSE things, its kinda hard NOT to. *sigh*

  • Titianna

    Tho, with these pants. I showed my hubby and roomate and both of them agreed that if it was being worn by a hot japanese woman. They’d stop and drool.
    …
    Men…Are all of them hentai that they all only think about is..well…sex? Well I guess that with THOSE things, its kinda hard NOT to. *sigh*

  • Eevee

    The problem is that 98% of the worlds population does not “have the bod” (possibly even 99%). So yeah. If a girl has a nice body, she can wear regular jeans in public like the rest of the world, and spend all the rest of the money she saved on being half naked in public on fancy lingerie or something. That would be more worthwhile. Most of us women would appreciate it… extremely. Anyways, the majority of people who would wear these are the people who don’t look good in them, so what’s the point?

  • Eevee

    The problem is that 98% of the worlds population does not “have the bod” (possibly even 99%). So yeah. If a girl has a nice body, she can wear regular jeans in public like the rest of the world, and spend all the rest of the money she saved on being half naked in public on fancy lingerie or something. That would be more worthwhile. Most of us women would appreciate it… extremely. Anyways, the majority of people who would wear these are the people who don’t look good in them, so what’s the point?

  • http://www.freewebs.com/deepexpressionsofateen asian kid

    omg that is kind of to showy and who would wear that but prostitutes really no offense to ppl who like that
    but hey thats still kinda koolconverting 2 to 1

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