ウルトラローライズデニムビキニパンツ (Ho Pants)

by 181 Comments

Hey ladies! Running out of ways to tell men “I’m available and easy”? Got a festering wound on your lower hip that needs to be aired out? Can’t think of a birthday gift for your great aunt Melba? Well, allow me to introduce you to the product of the unholy union of Brazil and Japan: Ultra Low-Rise Denim Bikini Pants (9,240 円, about $75)! Intrigued? Horrified? Bear with me.

ウルトラローライズデニムビキニパンツ

These jeans aren’t held up with buttons or belts, but with two little strings and maybe some double-sided tape. The “bikini” portion stops just short of your woman (or man, if you’re extra-daring) parts, exposing a good third of your ass. What this means is that no real underwear can be worn with these pants… but if you’re the kind who would buy these, chances are good that you don’t wear underwear in the first place. Also, notice the zipper. It’s not in the front, as that would make too much sense, but on the side, allowing for an extra couple inches of visible skin.

Sadly, there are no pockets in these jeans, but no worries! Stuff a wad of cash in your bra and stick your car keys down next to your crotch–you’ll be good to go because you’re just that classy.

Is my absolute hatred of these jeans apparent yet?

Hopefully my sarcasm is as overtly blunt as I think it is, because honestly, Ultra Low-Rise Denim Bikini Pants are an affront to all woman-kind. If I saw a woman walking around in these I would punch her in the ovaries (which would be, conveniently, visible).

Picture Source: Sanna’s Brazil Fashion

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  • Onimusha Nosferatu

    they oddly enough fit the minimum standards for clothing. i think the cut make them look so odd.

  • Onimusha Nosferatu

    they oddly enough fit the minimum standards for clothing. i think the cut make them look so odd.

  • Onimusha Nosferatu

    they oddly enough fit the minimum standards for clothing. i think the cut make them look so odd.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    I forgot to include this–another pair of “pants” made by the same company that makes Ultra Low Rise Bikini Pants.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    I forgot to include this–another pair of “pants” made by the same company that makes Ultra Low Rise Bikini Pants.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    I forgot to include this–another pair of “pants” made by the same company that makes Ultra Low Rise Bikini Pants.

  • Kristina

    Wow. Who thought of this? Hopefully not a woman!

  • Kristina

    Wow. Who thought of this? Hopefully not a woman!

  • Kristina

    Wow. Who thought of this? Hopefully not a woman!

  • Kurisutofa

    Eh!~ Nan desu ka?! As if seeing the “whale tail” popping out from real jeans wasn’t unattractive already, now they need to show the whole frontal orb?

    粗野… -_-;

  • Kurisutofa

    Eh!~ Nan desu ka?! As if seeing the “whale tail” popping out from real jeans wasn’t unattractive already, now they need to show the whole frontal orb?

    粗野… -_-;

  • Kurisutofa

    Eh!~ Nan desu ka?! As if seeing the “whale tail” popping out from real jeans wasn’t unattractive already, now they need to show the whole frontal orb?

    粗野… -_-;

  • Kurisutofa

    PS: Clean job on the photochoping. Did you use the pen tool?

  • Kurisutofa

    PS: Clean job on the photochoping. Did you use the pen tool?

  • Kurisutofa

    PS: Clean job on the photochoping. Did you use the pen tool?

  • Titianna

    Wow. Those are…just…wow. I kinda like the design it looks pretty neat but they do sorta yell “Boink me I’m easy! Don’t beleive it? Look at my pants, or lack there of!”

  • Titianna

    Wow. Those are…just…wow. I kinda like the design it looks pretty neat but they do sorta yell “Boink me I’m easy! Don’t beleive it? Look at my pants, or lack there of!”

  • Titianna

    Wow. Those are…just…wow. I kinda like the design it looks pretty neat but they do sorta yell “Boink me I’m easy! Don’t beleive it? Look at my pants, or lack there of!”

  • http://www.myspace.com/fredydb327 Fred

    Haha. That’s hilarious. “An unholy union of Brazil and Japan.” So true… haha. Yeah.. that’s just wierd. haha. Speakin of Photoshop, I need to learn how to use it, I can’t even do that much on Photoshop and I’ve had it for years.

  • http://www.myspace.com/fredydb327 Fred

    Haha. That’s hilarious. “An unholy union of Brazil and Japan.” So true… haha. Yeah.. that’s just wierd. haha. Speakin of Photoshop, I need to learn how to use it, I can’t even do that much on Photoshop and I’ve had it for years.

  • http://www.myspace.com/fredydb327 Fred

    Haha. That’s hilarious. “An unholy union of Brazil and Japan.” So true… haha. Yeah.. that’s just wierd. haha. Speakin of Photoshop, I need to learn how to use it, I can’t even do that much on Photoshop and I’ve had it for years.

  • http://tofugu.com Erin

    Yeah. I mean, I think if I had a tablet, I could’ve gone with just using the eraser tool, but all I’ve got is a mouse, so the pen tool’s really the way to go.

  • http://tofugu.com Erin

    Yeah. I mean, I think if I had a tablet, I could’ve gone with just using the eraser tool, but all I’ve got is a mouse, so the pen tool’s really the way to go.

  • http://tofugu.com Erin

    Yeah. I mean, I think if I had a tablet, I could’ve gone with just using the eraser tool, but all I’ve got is a mouse, so the pen tool’s really the way to go.

  • http://tofugu.com Erin

    It’s really the zipper on the side that gets me, haha.

  • http://tofugu.com Erin

    It’s really the zipper on the side that gets me, haha.

  • http://tofugu.com Erin

    It’s really the zipper on the side that gets me, haha.

  • Stacia

    GROSS. But nothing less expected from Japan. *shrug* Gotta love the insanity…if I EVER see someone wearing that in person, I’ll prolly run for fear of catching the air-born stds that are sure to waft from those pants…(and I know stds aren’t air-born, but those pants are so skany they MAKE them airborn)…*shudders*

  • Stacia

    GROSS. But nothing less expected from Japan. *shrug* Gotta love the insanity…if I EVER see someone wearing that in person, I’ll prolly run for fear of catching the air-born stds that are sure to waft from those pants…(and I know stds aren’t air-born, but those pants are so skany they MAKE them airborn)…*shudders*

  • Stacia

    GROSS. But nothing less expected from Japan. *shrug* Gotta love the insanity…if I EVER see someone wearing that in person, I’ll prolly run for fear of catching the air-born stds that are sure to waft from those pants…(and I know stds aren’t air-born, but those pants are so skany they MAKE them airborn)…*shudders*

  • Sexy Beam

    The only thing that would be even lower than this would be if they were transparent. Let’s all hope they never, EVER think of that! >.

  • Sexy Beam

    The only thing that would be even lower than this would be if they were transparent. Let’s all hope they never, EVER think of that! >.

  • Sexy Beam

    The only thing that would be even lower than this would be if they were transparent. Let’s all hope they never, EVER think of that! >.

  • Jen

    Oh my. I just desperately hope that women here in California never discover the existant of those. Just because someone makes it, does not mean you’re justified in wearing it.

  • Jen

    Oh my. I just desperately hope that women here in California never discover the existant of those. Just because someone makes it, does not mean you’re justified in wearing it.

  • Jen

    Oh my. I just desperately hope that women here in California never discover the existant of those. Just because someone makes it, does not mean you’re justified in wearing it.

  • Kurisutofa

    You can search Google for tutorials that lets you practice all the PS Tools available.

    I used this one when I first started out, Tutorial Guide

    Just click the Photoshop link in the “Top 10 Tutorial” box.

  • Kurisutofa

    You can search Google for tutorials that lets you practice all the PS Tools available.

    I used this one when I first started out, Tutorial Guide

    Just click the Photoshop link in the “Top 10 Tutorial” box.

  • Kurisutofa

    I didn’t notice the picture last night… Did you take a picture of this lady? haha.

  • Kurisutofa

    I didn’t notice the picture last night… Did you take a picture of this lady? haha.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Viet

    I want to puke.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Viet

    I want to puke.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Viet

    I want to puke.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    The visible nipples really compliment her outfit.

  • http://www.tofugu.com Erin

    The visible nipples really compliment her outfit.

  • Onimusha Nosferatu

    her outfit is not working for her. the guys aren’t looking at her.

  • Onimusha Nosferatu

    her outfit is not working for her. the guys aren’t looking at her.

  • Onimusha Nosferatu

    her outfit is not working for her. the guys aren’t looking at her.

  • Amber

    They are kind of slutty pants, but the modle of them looks kinda good in them lol. Not the girl who is pretty mch naked though >.

  • Amber

    They are kind of slutty pants, but the modle of them looks kinda good in them lol. Not the girl who is pretty mch naked though >.

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