ウルトラローライズデニムビキニパンツ (Ho Pants)

01. Jul, 2007 Comments

Hey ladies! Running out of ways to tell men “I’m available and easy”? Got a festering wound on your lower hip that needs to be aired out? Can’t think of a birthday gift for your great aunt Melba? Well, allow me to introduce you to the product of the unholy union of Brazil and Japan: Ultra Low-Rise Denim Bikini Pants (9,240 円, about $75)! Intrigued? Horrified? Bear with me.

ウルトラローライズデニムビキニパンツ

These jeans aren’t held up with buttons or belts, but with two little strings and maybe some double-sided tape. The “bikini” portion stops just short of your woman (or man, if you’re extra-daring) parts, exposing a good third of your ass. What this means is that no real underwear can be worn with these pants… but if you’re the kind who would buy these, chances are good that you don’t wear underwear in the first place. Also, notice the zipper. It’s not in the front, as that would make too much sense, but on the side, allowing for an extra couple inches of visible skin.

Sadly, there are no pockets in these jeans, but no worries! Stuff a wad of cash in your bra and stick your car keys down next to your crotch–you’ll be good to go because you’re just that classy.

Is my absolute hatred of these jeans apparent yet?

Hopefully my sarcasm is as overtly blunt as I think it is, because honestly, Ultra Low-Rise Denim Bikini Pants are an affront to all woman-kind. If I saw a woman walking around in these I would punch her in the ovaries (which would be, conveniently, visible).

Picture Source: Sanna’s Brazil Fashion

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  • Onimusha Nosferatu
    they oddly enough fit the minimum standards for clothing. i think the cut make them look so odd.

  • I forgot to include this--another pair of "pants" made by the same company that makes Ultra Low Rise Bikini Pants.


    <center><img src="http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d139/tofu_remix/Ho_Jeans_Too.jpg" title="From 3Yen"/></center>

  • Kurisutofa
    I didn't notice the picture last night... Did you take a picture of this lady? haha.
  • I want to puke.
  • The visible nipples really compliment her outfit.
  • Onimusha Nosferatu
    her outfit is not working for her. the guys aren't looking at her.
  • That is the funniest picture I have ever seen. Ahahahahahaha...
  • Kristina
    Wow. Who thought of this? Hopefully not a woman!
  • Kurisutofa
    Eh!~ Nan desu ka?! As if seeing the "whale tail" popping out from real jeans wasn't unattractive already, now they need to show the whole frontal orb?

    粗野... -_-;
  • Kurisutofa
    PS: Clean job on the photochoping. Did you use the pen tool?

  • Yeah. I mean, I think if I had a tablet, I could've gone with just using the eraser tool, but all I've got is a mouse, so the pen tool's really the way to go.

  • Titianna
    Wow. Those are...just...wow. I kinda like the design it looks pretty neat but they do sorta yell "Boink me I'm easy! Don't beleive it? Look at my pants, or lack there of!"
  • It's really the zipper on the side that gets me, haha.
  • Haha. That's hilarious. "An unholy union of Brazil and Japan." So true... haha. Yeah.. that's just wierd. haha. Speakin of Photoshop, I need to learn how to use it, I can't even do that much on Photoshop and I've had it for years.
  • Kurisutofa
    You can search Google for tutorials that lets you practice all the PS Tools available.

    I used this one when I first started out, Tutorial Guide

    Just click the Photoshop link in the "Top 10 Tutorial" box.
  • Stacia
    GROSS. But nothing less expected from Japan. *shrug* Gotta love the insanity...if I EVER see someone wearing that in person, I'll prolly run for fear of catching the air-born stds that are sure to waft from those pants...(and I know stds aren't air-born, but those pants are so skany they MAKE them airborn)...*shudders*
  • Sexy Beam
    The only thing that would be even lower than this would be if they were transparent. Let's all hope they never, EVER think of that! >.
  • Jen
    Oh my. I just desperately hope that women here in California never discover the existant of those. Just because someone makes it, does not mean you're justified in wearing it.
  • Amber
    They are kind of slutty pants, but the modle of them looks kinda good in them lol. Not the girl who is pretty mch naked though >.
  • cory
    that lady is wearing slutty pants and that lady is GROSS and her shirt is see therw and she has no bar on i persontly wouldnt care if it was a hot girl but that lady is distucting
  • Tiya
    lol! yeah,shockingly when you see the model wearing them they actually do kinda look okay,
    but then when you go down to the picture of the other lady on the phone you kinda realize "oh wow, 3/4 of your ass actually is going to be hanging out" and then you get a nauseous feeling from looking at her picture :P eww.

    yeah,I definitely wouldn't suggest wearing these at the mall.
    i dunno,maybe if you're at home with a boyfriend or a husband they might be okay :/
    But otherwise,they just scream "Lookit me!I'm a slut!Come on,Who wants some?"
  • It would be cheaper just to scream and cut out the pants part altogether.
  • Tiya
    lol!
    I agree
    ...because usually you'd pay $75 on clothes so your ass isn't hanging out.
  • howard
    nice name ho pants
  • Yellowboned Baby
    It does look kinda skanky. Of course, everything in fashion is nowadays.
  • Those pants are odd, but at least they're unique! ^_^;
  • jonathan mcivor
    no way! those pants cannot not be real! i just can not be real ! why would ANY woman want to wear them!? i too would punch her in the ovaries!
  • ティファー
    Gross. >__>
  • Mime777
    Worst....REALLY gross... O.o
  • Catboknife
    I have the body to pull something like that off and I would never where something like that. Crazy....Wow..
  • Supervixn
    Um... maybe I'm crazy, but if I had the ass for those "ho" pants, I would totally wear them. Just around my boyfriend though.

    Am I the only one here that thinks they're sexy? I've seen a lot worse just walking around the mall... like shorts that look like panties when people sit down because they're so .... flimsy.
  • Annie
    Who did they design these for? Who do they actually suppose will buy them?
    Actually, I know a few people who would actually wear those.
  • Rose
    Two words: Easy Access. All I'm thinking about right now is skin hanging over and coming out... everywhere. Put this ad on a men's channel, and every *horny* male would buy this for his girlfriend. The slogan just popped into my mind:

    "Bikini Jeans: You can take 'em off so damn fast and easy, makes it great for a quickie."

    *...Why??*
  • Holly
    Jesus christ kill me.
  • 何でやねん!!
    is there anybody really THINK of buying those pants?
    ewww gross XS

    I love japanese quirky and one of a kind fashion sense.. but this is soooooo~ ....
    (i cant find an appropriate word to describe my feeling here, help me?)
  • Tyler
    Those pants look gay! Do men wear them too?
  • Danielle
    I'd love to see a man wearing them.
  • ArtDecoDalek
    Boy, this post is a perfect confluence of simple-minded moralizing and arrogant cooler-than-thou posturing! Good job on that.
  • While there's no real moralizing here, and I would call it classier-than-thou posturing, thanks all the same. I always like readers who put together pretty sentences.
  • Considering how often I see girls wearing skirts over jeans in Japan, they're not soo bad..
  • 巧
    i almost died when i read "i'd punch her in the ovaries". （　＾　▽　＾　）ハハハ
  • angela
    thats disgusting!
  • lala
    eew
  • lonna
    wow~ That is defiantly interesting...
    I just hate to think of the people that shouldn't wear these jeans. You know people on the *cough* larger side on the spectrum.
  • Robert
    I think it depends on what kind of girl is wearing them...I think on a slim,shapely gal ,they would look oh so HOT....on a fuller figured one,not so....Just because a girl likes unique sexy clothing does not make her a "Ho"....It's one's actions that make one bad not one's clothes....I do think that a girl would attract a guy wearing some sexy jeans like that...but as long as he treats her with respect ...so what? I think most guys LOVE being attracted by pretty girls in sexy clothes...
  • Negi
    o_0 Wow... That's just... revolting... >_< How can people actually like those? (Excluding men) D:
  • Bionca Jenkins
    excuse me young an old.... we should not b wearing anything that does not COVER ur GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS i dnt think that this is cute THIS IS UGLY who would actually wear that out i public this is a disgrace it degrades WOMEN if ur GAY DNT EVEN THINK PUTTING ANY GIRL ON EVEN IF ITS UR MOTHER'S SO STOPPPPPP GET A NEW IDEA AND DNT CUM UP WITH ANY JEAN BRAS OR THONGS

    THANK U
  • japan-fan
    OMG
    has anybody bought any of these yet?
    that is soooooooo disgusting!!!
    i cant imagine how pervy the designer must be-yuk
    wth? instead of paying $75 it would be cheaper and less hassle to walk around in your underwear with a sign hanging around your neck reading: FRISK ME!
  • Sarra
    eeeeeeeeeew totally silly !
  • skinisOK
    Come on people! I'm with supervixn on this one.

    If you've got the bod, what's the problem?
  • skinisOK:

    Which is, I'm sure, exactly what the makers of these pants thought, too.
  • Titianna
    Tho, with these pants. I showed my hubby and roomate and both of them agreed that if it was being worn by a hot japanese woman. They'd stop and drool.
    ...
    Men...Are all of them hentai that they all only think about is..well...sex? Well I guess that with THOSE things, its kinda hard NOT to. *sigh*
  • Eevee
    The problem is that 98% of the worlds population does not "have the bod" (possibly even 99%). So yeah. If a girl has a nice body, she can wear regular jeans in public like the rest of the world, and spend all the rest of the money she saved on being half naked in public on fancy lingerie or something. That would be more worthwhile. Most of us women would appreciate it... extremely. Anyways, the majority of people who would wear these are the people who don't look good in them, so what's the point?
  • omg that is kind of to showy and who would wear that but prostitutes really no offense to ppl who like that
    but hey thats still kinda koolconverting 2 to 1
  • Sougen02
    I wonder how long it will take for the trend to reach the USA ... =_=
    I hope not anytime soon =/
    haha
  • heartlessangel
    wow and I thought fashion couldn't get any worse obviously I was sadly mistaken though I guess I shouldn't have underestimated the power that being a slut and showing wat goods you might think you have effect the market the fact that someone thought of this doesn't surprise me or even the thought of them making a presentation for them and getting it approved it just disturbs me to know that their are ppl who will wear these and thus not helping our Image as women as a whole as if the world wasn't bad enough lol ho pant thanks for changing my life lol
  • ... The only people I can really imagine these being appropriate for are hookers, strippers, and hostesses. XD I'm sorry, if I wanted to look like a skank, I would just buy a pair of low rise jeans (for a much cheaper price, I might add) and a thong. Ta-da, same level of ho-ness for half the price!
  • sooprgrl_107
    i am a child. i came to learn Japanese. my eyes are currently stinging.
    it makes me sad that anyone would wear these except strippers and prostitutes. (V U_U)
  • vix4711
    Oh man, I've gotta get me some of those. No girls' wardrobe can possibly be complete without them.

    T__T
  • altonet
    Scary 0.0
  • Oh~ You look sexy
  • OMG!! this is the first i saw this pants all in one, :)
  • Amanda
    The jeans just make no sense! The world is spiraling into madness and confuussiioonn!!
  • Rob Klemme
    These Jeans are Really Sexy, I'm A Guy and I find them really attractive
  • GJB995
    Sick I think you have to have a lot of serious isues and belong in the funny house If you even think about wearing those pants ;(

    Great sarcasm;}
  • narutobleach111
    that is true grant very true i remember being at your house when you had put that comment on tofugu p.s i'm suprised jimmy hasn't put a comment about this yet
  • erwin
    i think Erin San is cute
    kawaii ne
  • tess
    yes i think these pants are cute, maybe on the beach.....girls wear alot less on the beach
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