メイクアップ ヘアコンタクト (Make-up Hair Contacts)

Seeing as this is my first “fashion” post, I figured I’d do something small and slightly amusing, just to get myself started.Thus, I bring you, メイクアップ ヘアコンタクト! Geeks and pretty-boys (I’m talking to you, Gackt) rejoice, for rugged now comes in a box.Basically, メイクアップ ヘアコンタクト are pieces of fake hair that you stick onto your face for instant cool. They come in little packages, perfectly groomed and sexy (see illustration).

See how sad Before Man is? See how weak and pale he looks? But slap on a little くちヒゲ, くち下ヒゲ, and あごヒゲ, and BOOM! After Man is born, tan, complex, and utterly hot. (Never mind that Before Man has stubble that exactly mirrors After Man’s メイクアップ ヘアコンタクト.)

Now, I know that some of you will not see the need for this product, but please understand this: most asian men are not capable of growing nice mustaches, beards, or little triangle-shaped patches of under-lip hair. I don’t know why this is, but trust me, asian facial hair is a generally uncontrollable, scraggly creature. Pai Mei’s silky white locks are the only exception to this that comes to mind.

Maybe not-so-surprisingly, メイクアップ ヘアコンタクト is manufactured by Propia, the same company that makes regular ヘアコンタクト, which are longer pieces of sticky hair sold in small bunches to bald men. They look fairly realistic, too, as you can see from this blogger’s horrifying illustration:

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